


what's a little bit of hunger? (i can go a little while longer)

by tigerlo



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Anal Play, F/F, Light restraint, Oh My God So Much Smut, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Strap on sex, Teasing, You've been warned, also there's a bit of everything, but there's a lot of variation in soft to rough, if you know what i mean, or there will be a bit of everything, read with caution at work maybe, they're in a committed loving relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:36:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 67,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10018694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: How many times can I take you to pieces?orA collection of (very) intimate moments between Erin and Jillian.





	1. un.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this started off as a little project to make sure I wrote something every day, inspired by someone who gave me more than one idea for these (you know who you are), and before I knew it I had like 100 pages of holtzbert smut. 
> 
> I never actually thought i'd end up doing anything with this because it's just little bits and pieces but they could all link in to any of the universes or stories i've written for these two so I decided to share. And while some are longer than others they are only snap-shots, and that's how they'll stay. 
> 
> They are little passing moments that could have stayed in my google docs but I thought, to hell with it, I'm sure you wonderful humans will probably enjoy them too, even if they are messy.
> 
> So, I present these to you in no particular order the first piece. Again, there's no sequence or continuation, and some chapters might have two snippets while others have six but I wanted the chapters to be a decent length hence the variation. 
> 
> Each little piece does have a tiny descriptor at the beginning which might act as a loose theme, but also might not. We're working on the fly here people, so hang in there with me!
> 
> Oh, and a huge thanks to lexluthr who helped me read through this jumble to make sure it made some kind of sense.
> 
> I'll stop rambling now, here have some smut. You've been warned about the explicit rating, ok....
> 
> xx

-

 

 

**One.**

Handcuffs.

 

 

-

 

 

The door to their apartment slams, and Holtz walks straight for Erin, her eyes alight with something decidedly dangerous.

 

She doesn’t say anything, just pulls Erin - in all her yoga pants and baggy t-shirted glory - up and against the nearest wall.

 

_Hard_.

 

It drives the breath out of Erin’s lungs, but Holtz doesn’t give her a second to recover, moving in to steal the air from her lungs with a bruising kiss.

 

“Twelve hours, Erin.” Holtz says gasping when she pulls away. “That’s how long I had to wait until I could come home to you. _Twelve hours_.”

 

“I didn’t know you were at the university.”

 

“That’s bullshit buttercup, and you know it.”

 

Erin doesn’t want to smirk or smile, because she knows that’s only going to make it worse for herself but she can’t help it, and honestly she’s curious to see what she can draw out of Jillian tonight.

 

It’s been kind of a slow week and it’s Friday night, and Erin’s been desperate for something to sink her teeth into - or maybe sink its teeth into her, for days now.

 

Which is why she’d sent the rather suggestive picture to Jillian in the first place.

 

She smiles, rising to the blonde, and she watches the fire _light_ behind Jillian’s eyes too when she recognizes the challenge.

 

“What are you going to do about it?” Erin says, rolling her body up and into Holtz’s from her hips.

 

“I don’t know,” Jillian says, leaning to purr into Erin’s ear. “What do you _want_ me to do?”

 

 

-

 

 

The metal is cold around her wrists but Jillian’s mouth is hot at her neck, and then her breasts, and then her inner thighs.

 

“Twelve hours, Erin,” Holtz whispers against flushed skin as she moves as slowly down Erin’s body as she can go. “Do you think you could wait that long for me like this?”

 

“You wouldn’t _dare_.”

 

“ ** _Try_** me.”

 

 

-

 

 

“That’s good baby. You’re going _so good_.”

 

“Jill, _please_.”

 

“Not yet, Er. A little longer. I want you to _beg_.”

 

 

-

 

 

She waits until Erin’s shaking and her heart’s racing and the pauses between her desperate moans become smaller and smaller as she pulls desperately against the restraints that bind her.

 

Only _then_ does she finally slide three fingers deep inside Erin.

 

She moves fast and hard and unrelenting, and she pushes Erin further and faster than they’ve ever gone before.

 

And Erin sees stars for _hours_ , after.

 

 

-

  

 

**Two.**

Office hours.

 

 

-

 

 

“Don't you dare Jillian, this door doesn't lock from the inside.”

 

“Well I guess you'll have to hold it shut then? Here, your weight should suffice.”

 

Erin's back hits the closed door to the office for visiting academics and Jillian drops to her knees before her the minute Erin's breath leaves her lungs with a _thud_.

 

“Now, I've listened to you take a call on the other side of this door Erin, and I know how thin the walls are, so you're going to need to be _very_ quiet.”

 

“Jill, I can't. We _can't_.”

 

“Of course we can darling, we're already halfway there,” Holtz says as she pushes Erin's skirt up and over her hips. “Look, three quarters of the way now.”

 

“Jill….”

 

“Ninety percent,” Holtz whispers against the band of Erin's underwear as she pulls them down with her teeth.

 

_Gasp._

 

“Jill, you need to…. _oh god_.”

 

“Quiet baby. I don't want to have to stop.”

 

“Well you shouldn't have _started_.”

 

“I know, but isn't this so much fun now I have?”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's wetter than Jillian thought she'd be, and she makes a mental note to test this whole having sex where they could very easily be caught thing because maybe _that's_ something else they could play with.

 

She teases at first, spreads Erin wide with her fingers and presses light kisses up and down the length of her and Erin starts wriggling, desperate for more.

 

Holtz looks up and sees Erin with her eyes screwed shut and her hands balled into fists at her sides and she smiles because this is one of her favourite versions of Erin.

 

The one that she had met all those months ago, who was so tightly wound and reluctant to _bend_ but now, now Jillian knows exactly what it takes and she _revels_ in it.

 

She presses one heavy kiss to the inside of Erin's thigh before she slides her fingers around Erin's ankle, bringing her calf up and over her shoulder.

 

Erin looks down between them and _gasps_ and really Jillian doesn't blame her because this must look like quite a sight from there.

 

Jillian gives her one last wink, bringing her hand up to press over her lips in a gesture of silence and then she moves in, quick and heavy.

 

And Erin finally _bends_.

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, _oh my god._ ”

 

“ _Quiet_ Erin.”

 

“I'm trying _Jillian_ but you keep doing that thing with your tongue and oh god, yes _that_.”

 

“You know you're going to have to keep it down, or I'm going to have to **stop**.”

 

“How?”

 

“Bite your hand, put your scarf in your mouth, I don't care Er but _please_ , I want to make you come so badly.”

 

 

-

 

 

In the end Jillian has to stand, has to swallow Erin's moans in kisses because she does her _best_ but there are only so many moans they can disguise with scraping furniture and coughs.

 

Erin comes with her mouth against Jillian's neck, her teeth sinking in hard enough to make the blonde _hiss_ but it's worth it because she's _pulling_ at Jillian's fingers, drawing them deeper and **deeper** inside and it's almost enough to make her come too.

 

 

-

 

 

They leave the room some thirty minutes later, disheveled and pink faced, and one of Erin's students walks past, her face wide with a smile.

 

“You know, I generally find _music_ helps Professor Gilbert.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Three.**

Claim.

 

 

-

 

 

“So I've been thinking.”

 

“Uh-oh,” Erin says smirking at Holtz across the table.

 

“Careful,” Holtz returns, and her voice is low and the warning in it is clear and it makes Erin _shiver_.

 

“Sorry,” Erin says blushing prettily. “Go on?”

 

“Well,” Holtz says pushing up out of her chair, walking around to Erin with dangerous, hungry eyes. “I've been thinking.”

 

“About?”

 

“Other people flirting with you.”

 

“Come on Jill, it was one time. How many times has it happened to you?”

 

“I know but Erin, you're _breathtaking_. It's not going to be the last time. And as much as I'd like to get down on a knee, I don't want to scare you off. So for now, I've thought of an alternative.”

 

“What kind of alternative?” Erin asks slowly.

 

“Just a little something. To remind you that I'm yours. And to remind other people that you belong to someone else.”

 

“You know I don't really need a reminder, right?”

 

“Oh I know. But it's _much_ more fun this way,” Holtz says sliding behind Erin, brushing the hair away from her neck to make way for her lips.

 

Erin shivers again, deeper this time as it sinks down to rattle her bones.

 

She feels Jillian slide her hands around her neck and she jumps when she feels something cold settle against the skin.

 

Erin's hand comes up to her throat and the links of the necklace move beneath her fingertips, before they close around the padlock in the middle.

 

“Oh Jill, it's too much,” Erin says as her eyes fall on the teal box on the table.

 

“It's as much for me as it is for you, buttercup,” Holtz says smiling before she pulls Erin to her feet roughly.

 

Erin's shaking slightly now because _this_ is her favourite version of Jillian, the one who assumes more than Erin has ever allowed a partner to assume before.

 

Who _claims_ her.

 

Jillian walks around Erin, stopping with her hands tight on Erin’s hips.

 

She pushes, walking them backwards towards their bedroom and Erin starts to lose her breath in anticipation.

 

“I'm going to make sure you don't forget for a second who the only person that's allowed to touch you is.”

 

 

-

 

 

She's naked but for the necklace, laid bare on the bed while Holtz rests back on her calves.

 

“Close your eyes for me Erin,” Jillian says, her voice calm but firm.

 

Erin does as she's told, her skin jumping to meet Jillian's as she slides her hands up the inside of Erin's thighs.

 

She's jumpy as hell, has absolutely no idea which way Jillian's going to swing tonight; soft or…. _not_ so soft, and she doesn't have to wait long to find out.

 

Jillian draws her hands back and then there's nothing, and Erin can't help her hips moving up, mourning the loss of contact.

 

There's _nothing_ , and then the next second Erin feels Jillian close her mouth over her centre and it almost **stops** her heart.

 

Her tongue is insistent, pushing to find her clit immediately and Erin moans **deep** and _long_ as Jillian's hands move to hold Erin's thighs tightly against the mattress.

 

“ _Erin, Erin, Erin_. Keep moving like that and I’ll stop. Understand?”

 

Her fingers dig slightly into the soft skin of Erin’s thighs and she gasps at the pinch.

 

Erin bites her lip and nods her head, forcing her hips back down into the bed.

 

“That's it,” Jillian breaths, and the irons stronger between her words now. “Now, show me how **good** you can be.”

 

_God_ , Erin thinks, not so soft it is.

 

 

-

 

 

Her tongue is absolutely relentless.

 

More than once Erin wants to open her eyes because there's no way she's drawing that much sensation from Erin with just her fingers and her mouth.

 

It feels like Jillian's _everywhere_.

 

Her hands are like a vice grip around Erin's thighs holding her down, and her tongue is strong and firm and it dips and teases, only to be replaced with her fingers so quickly Erin doesn't have a chance to _breathe_.

 

 

-

 

 

“How much, Erin. How much can you take?”

 

“Anything, _Jesus_ Jill, **anything**.”

 

“Sure?”

 

“Ye…..oh my **_god_**.”

 

 

-

 

 

“I can't, I don't think I….”

 

“Yes you can Erin, _breathe_.”

 

“....... _Oh_.”

 

 

-

 

Jillian slides a fourth finger in and Erin just _swoons_ because she's never felt so **full** in her life.

 

It's pushing it, _really_ pushing it but Jillian's mouth is at her neck and she just sinks, falls into the abyss when she curls her fingers and then Erin's _gone_.

 

 

-

  

 

**Four.**

Go easy.

 

 

-

 

 

“I don't know Er….”

 

“I'll be slow, and I'll make sure you're ready. I promise.”

 

“It's not that I don't trust you, it's just….it's been a long time since I've….”

 

“I know, but I'll make it good. I just want to be _inside_ you, like you get to be inside me.”

 

“You'll go slow?”

 

“Glacial.”

 

“And if I want to stop?”

 

“We’ll stop. Immediately.”

 

“Fine. But we're going to need a smaller….”

 

“Already taken care of. Come on _baby_ , I want to fuck you until you fall to **pieces**.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Is it….?”

 

“Surprisingly dainty. I think it'll be ok.”

 

“Good. Now lie back and think of Oz.”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin takes her time getting Jillian ready.

 

She presses kisses, soft and then **firmer** from the corner of her mouth, down the line of her neck, across her chest and down to the bottom of her stomach before coming back up to her lips.

 

Again and _again_ and _again_.

 

By the time she finally slides her hand between Jillian's legs what feels like hours later, she's so _wet_ that Erin actually gasps.

 

“Proud of yourself?” Holtz quips beneath her, and she's aiming for lighthearted but she misses by a mile because her eyes are fixed shut, and her teeth have almost bitten through her lip, and she looks like a work of art held together by a few stitches.

 

“What do you think?” Erin says smiling slyly. “No fun when the tables are turned is it?”

 

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

 

“Maybe not, but you _will_.”

 

 

-

 

 

“ _Jesus_ Erin.”

 

“Does it look stupid?”

 

“No, no no no. Definitely _not_ stupid.”

 

“Oh, well good. Now, you'll tell me if I do anything….”

 

“Are you drawing this out on purpose? Because you know this goes both ways, right? Eventually.”

 

“No. _Maybe_. Maybe I like you on the back foot like this. Nervous.”

 

“Well if you were in my shoes you'd be….”

 

“Shhhhhh, we'll get there I promise. I just want to make sure you _remember_.”

 

 

-

 

 

“I think you're ready.”

 

“Just….go slow ok?”

 

“Is this….”

 

_Gasp_.

 

“I'm ok….I'm ok just give me a sec.”

 

“ _Jesus_ Jill, you have no idea what this looks like from….”

 

“Don't I? Why do you think I like it so much.”

 

“Can I….?”

 

“Yeah just….”

 

“I'll go slow baby, _I'll go slow_.”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's hips _finally_ settle against Jillian's, the full length of the toy inside her and Jillian lets out a low shaky breath.

 

She knows it's ridiculous because it's not even that _big_ ; Erin can take much bigger but it's just because it feels so foreign and she feels so **full**.

 

But Erin.

 

Erin's looking between them like she's never seen something so _hot_ before and she's biting her lip and she looks at Jillian with eyes heavier than they've ever been and Jillian feels herself clench slightly because Erin looks fit to eat her _alive_.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin settles into a gentle, slow, _shallow_ rhythm and Jillian bites her own lip through most of it because really, it has been a long time since she's been on this end of a situation like this.

 

Erin's leaning over her, her arms on either side of Jillian's head and Erin's concentrating hard too, obviously trying with a silent intensity to make this as good for Jillian as she can.

 

Jillian takes a deep breath, relaxing into the next thrust coming to meet it a little. She slides her hands down Erin's sides to settle on her hips and _oh_ , that does make it better.

Erin must feel some of the tension leave her body because her eyes flicker to Jillian's and she smiles, a low dangerous smile and Jillian swallows roughly because _that_ generally precedes….

 

Erin pulls fully out of her on the next thrust and Jillian actually moans at the loss of contact.

 

“Ready to play?” Erin says and her voice is _wicked_.

 

“Show me what you've got, _darling_.”

 

And she does.

 

 

-

 

 

“Are you sure this is your first time? Because it feels like, _fuck Erin_ , you've done this before.”

 

“Beginner’s luck?”

 

“I'm going to wipe that smug look off your face soon _baby_ , I promise.”

 

“Maybe, but for now you're all mine. I wonder how far I can push you like this hmmm?”

 

Jillian gasps when Erin punctuates her point with a particularly hard thrust but she won't give in, she doesn't want to give Erin the satisfaction, so she bares her teeth to the challenge and steels herself.

 

“So _push_ me then. And find out.”

 

 

-

 

 

“What do you say, will you get on your hands and knees for me Jillian?”

 

“I'm going to take you to fucking _pieces_ after this you know?”

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“To pieces Erin.”

 

“Perfect, that's perfect. Now I can….”

 

“ _Fuck_ Erin.”

 

“.....touch you like this too. _God_ Jill, you have no idea what this looks like….”

 

“No, but I'm _going_ to.”

 

“Soon. But not yet. Now, how quick do you think we can get that pulse racing, hmmm?”

 

 

-

 

 

It's almost too much like this, because it feels like Erin's so much _deeper_ but her hips keep brushing up against her ass and the sensation is just so **good** , she can grit her teeth against the _stretch_.

 

Erin's leaning low against her back, her hand coming round to move between Jillian's legs and her movements aren't even, they're irrational and rough between her thrusts but every time her fingers brush over Jillian's clit her heart jumps in her throat and the fluttering in her belly builds and _builds_.

 

 

-

 

 

“I think I'm close Erin, God I'm _so_ close.”

 

“What do you need?”

 

“Your fingers….just keep touching me. _Please_.”

 

“Lucky me, I didn't think I'd get you to beg.”

 

“ _Erin_.”

 

“I know Jill but I never thought I'd get to fuck you like this, and it's _exquisite_.”

 

 

-

 

 

Her orgasm hits her like a freight train, knocking the breath out of her lungs with a jolt but Erin doesn't stop, keeps pushing and pushing like she does to Erin and she comes _again_ , with Erin's hands pulling at her hips and her teeth in her shoulder.

 

They collapse bonelessly the second her last orgasm leaves her body but Erin doesn't move straight away, kissing Jillian’s shoulder and her back over the teeth marks.

 

“I want you to know it was worth it, whatever you have planned for me. I’ll take it willingly if it means I get to do that again.”

 

Holtz rolls her eyes because Erin's still _inside_ her and she doesn't actually know how she's going to move from here let alone walk tomorrow, but she can't ignore the fact that she'd _liked_ Erin taking her like this.

 

“Maybe. For you. Only for you.”

 

“Only for me.”

 

“Now Miss Gilbert if you'd be so good as to move, I believe I have some business to take _care_ of.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Five.**

Shower.

 

 

-

 

 

“No no no no no, babe we can't, the others are waiting.”

 

“You get priority when you get slimed, they won't come knocking for ages.”

 

“Jill, _no_.”

 

“I'll be quick, I promise.”

 

“But what if they….oh _Jesus_.”

 

“Erin Gilbert, wet already?”

 

“Shut _up_ Jillian.”

 

“Oh bossy. I like it. Don't worry, I'll get you off that high horse in no time your majesty.”

 

“How do you think you’re going to do…. _oh_.”

 

 

-

 

 

The fight doesn't completely fade from Erin, even once Jillian slides against her, into her, warm and wet and waiting.

 

Jillian watches as she grits her teeth and tries to _push_ , grasps to hold back the pleasure bubbling in her veins because she doesn’t want Jillian to know how much she wants this, how much she _needs_ this.

 

She wants Jillian to _work_ for it.

 

So she does.

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian sinks to her knees, hooking one of Erin’s legs up and over her shoulder - holding it in place as the other scoops round to the small of Erin’s back and _pulls_.

 

The shower is warm but Jillian’s mouth is **hot** , and Erin jumps when she feels Jillian’s tongue make contact with her for the first time.

 

Holtz looks up, chancing a quick glance to make sure Erin’s actually ok before she moves in, unrelenting and without warning.

 

She can tell Erin’s not in the mood for anything gentle, so she sucks and nips and it’s not long until she feels Erin’s hands tighten in her wet hair and pull her closer still.

 

 

-

 

 

Harder, _harder_ Jill. With your tongue too.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh god, _yes_. Just like that. Bend your fingers when you….. _christ_.”

 

 

-

 

 

The tiles are biting into Jillian's knees and there's water in her eyes but Erin's clenching **hard** around her fingers and her hands pull at Jillian's hair as she pushes herself down into Jillian's mouth and _god_ , if there's a sweeter way to go, she can't think of it.

 

 

-

 

 

**Six.**

Guess who’s late to dinner.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's got one hand on the stovetop controls, one holding a pot lid, and the wooden spoon in her mouth when Jillian comes through the door, an hour late.

 

Erin tries to keep the tone out of her voice because she knows Holtz isn't late on purpose but she _never_ cooks and she's been torturing herself trying to keep their dinner from burning or drying out, so it comes out clipped anyway.

 

“You’re late.”

 

“Babe, I'm _so_ sorry. I had a little incident in the lab and Patty wouldn't let me leave until I cleaned it all up, and I tried to tell her you were waiting for me, but she wouldn't listen and….” she trails off when she sees the expression on Erin's face.

 

When she speaks Erin's tone is cool then, because she thought it might have been traffic or an emergency but instead it's just her own carelessness.

 

“You had an incident. In the lab. You were doing something incident worthy when you knew I was cooking us dinner? I _never_ cook Jillian.”

 

“I know Er and I didn't mean to, like I said it was an accident but….”

 

“Later. You can explain later if I want to hear it then because I'm dishing this up now if you're ready or not.”

 

Holtz's face falls and Erin can see that she knows how much she's fucked up.

 

She sets the table in silence as Erin serves the food onto a couple of her nicer dinner plates before dropping Jillian's with a thud in front of her.

 

“It smells amazing Er,” Jillian comments quietly as she waits for Erin to start.

 

She jabs a potato with a particularly angry flash of her fork and eyes Jillian up from the opposite end of the table, indicating for her to start too.

 

They eat in silence and Erin softens a little in the quiet room because actually, dinner is amazing and not ruined at all, even if she does say so herself.

 

Jillian clears up their plates once they finish and Erin follows her to the kitchen picking at the leftovers.

 

She hears the plates hit the bottom of the sink and then feels soft hesitant hands settle onto her hips from behind, Jillian's breath soft at her ear.

 

“I really am sorry Erin. Dinner was beautiful. And I promise I'll be more careful in the future.”

 

Erin has softened _some_ but she's still angry and she can’t help snipping back a little in response.

 

“Don't make promises you can't keep Jillian.”

 

“I can though, I can. I'm _really_ sorry. Maybe I could think of a few things I have to do for you if I'm ever late like that again.”

 

She squeezes her hands lightly over Erin's hips and presses a soft kiss against Erin's neck.

 

“Maybe I could give you a massage.”

 

_Kiss._

 

“Or do dishes for a week.”

 

_Kiss._

 

“Or take you out for a really flash dinner.”

 

She knows exactly what Jillian's trying to do.

 

Distract her.

 

Because a distracted Erin isn't an angry Erin.

 

Or she's a less angry Erin, anyway.

 

And although it's kind of sweet, she wants to push Jillian off because she's really not in the mood for gentle kisses tonight.

 

But then she remembers that sometimes they're _not_ gentle and she feels very much like _not_ being gentle right now.

 

She spins quickly in Holtz's arms and turns them, pushing Jillian against the edge of the bench.

 

She watches the expression change on Holtz's face from remorseful to confused to nervous as she takes in Erin's almost immediate change in demeanour.

 

“Make it up to me.”

 

A flicker crosses Jillian's face and Erin can feel her hesitation because they've had rough sex before, but not _angry_ sex and Erin can tell she's not sure if she wants to play this hand or not.

 

But she must read the ease in Erin's face or the slant of her shoulders that says ‘ _I've forgiven you, I'm just not ready to say it yet_ ’ and she smiles finally as her hands slide around Erin's ass and pull.

 

“Anything,” Holtz says, her eyes darkening as she spins them again pushing Erin against the countertop before she moves, quick, lifting Erin up onto the bench top.

 

 

-

 

 

She's still got her dress on from today and Jillian's still fully clothed but they don't bother to take anything off, just expose enough skin to the air to satiate the _burning_.

 

Jillian pushes Erin back gently and Erin drags the blonde with her, pulling her up on the bench to straddle her for a second.

 

“Don't be gentle. Because I'm not going to go easy on you, after.”

 

Holtz smiles and she understands.

 

This is Erin's way of working out her frustration and really it could be worse, right?

 

I mean fucking your girlfriend on top of your kitchen bench hardly seems like a punishment, does it?

Erin feels a shiver run through Jillian on top of her because she knows Erin angry is like Erin _possessed_ and they'll be lucky if either one of them can wear a normal collar for a week after this.

 

“You might live to regret those words, Gilbert.”

 

“Never. Now get moving _Jillian_ , before I push you off and do this myself.”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's never been more thankful for her concrete walls than she has been since starting this with Jillian because when they're loud, they're **loud**.

 

Jillian pushes her underwear half way down her legs as her hands tear at the buttons of Erin's dress and she bites at the soft skin of her breast _hard_.

 

It's like catharsis, when they strip away the gentleness between them.

 

The love is still there, and the trust, but they exorcise their frustration with teeth and claws and it's better and more satisfying than anything else Erin's ever experienced.

 

Jillian slides her fingers through warm heat and she pushes in suddenly and Erin gasps at the intrusion and _sighs_ as the relief starts to flex between them.

 

“Ready?” Holtz asks with a grin above her.

 

Erin doesn't say anything, just reaches up behind her for anything to hold on to as she rolls her hips up into Jillian's hand.

 

And then they begin.

 

 

-

 

 

They're on the bench and then Jillian's on her knees between Erin's legs and then they're on the floor and their clothes are loose and their breath is **heavy** but they're _long_ from done.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin can almost feel the burn of Jillian's forearm in her own muscles because they've been going for **ages** and she's moving hard and quick, but Erin's holding back her orgasm between clenched teeth because she wants Jillian to _work_ for it.

 

 

-

 

 

“I know what you're doing.”

 

“I don't know what you mean.”

 

“You can't hold out forever Erin. I was going to go easy but you're forcing my hand.”

 

“I don't know what you're…. _Jesus_.”

 

“Too much? You did say don't be gentle. I wonder how long you can last like this, hmm?”

 

 

-

 

 

She keeps changing from three fingers to four.

 

Just when Erin thinks she can't take it anymore Jillian will draw back and she'll get a reprieve but after a few thrusts it's not _enough_ and she'll start to wiggle and then she'll lose her breath again when Jillian slides in the fourth.

 

She turns Erin's game on its head. Works her up to the edge and then **stops** and it's torture but it's _delicious_ and Erin's moans fill the apartment like stars.

 

 

-

 

 

“Say you give in and I'll let you have it.”

 

“ **Never**.”

 

“Good. Let's play then, _baby_.”

 

 

-

 

 

They go for hours.

 

Erin pushes Jillian off after the first when she's _aching_ with no sign of relief in sight, and she starts on Jillian.

 

They move all around the apartment teasing and taunting and Erin doesn't ever think she's had so much fun _denying_ Jillian something before.

 

 

-

 

 

When it finally happens it catches her by surprise.

 

Jillian drags her into her lap on the couch and she sinks down on the fingers waiting for her but the angles just different and it catches her off guard and she _explodes_.

 

 

-

 

 

“You now.”

 

“Feeling generous now are you?”

 

“ **Never**.”

 

 

-

 

 

She takes Jillian up against the wall of their bedroom, two fingers deep and she's _ruthless_ , pushing and pushing, forcing the orgasm over her and she comes with a sharp gasp like Erin's stolen the air from her lungs as well.

 

 

-

 

 

She doesn't withdraw her fingers, just waits until the shaking stops and then curls them again.

 

Jillian looks at her with hot, hungry eyes and Erin's heart heaves a beat because she doesn't know how she ever found a partner like this to match her.

 

Her eyes lock with Jillian's and she smiles too, can feel the need in Erin's body because it's her own, too.

 

“Again?”

 

“Again.”

 

 

-

 

 


	2. deux.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quiet.  
> Relax.  
> Drunk.  
> Rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex in public and sex to relax and tipsy sex and rough sex. Oh my.
> 
> Also, this stuff's rated E for a reason team. Please read ahead with that in mind!
> 
> Oh, and enjoy :)

-

 

 

**Seven.**

Quiet.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin jumps at the first touch of Jillian's hand under the table but she quiets when the blonde squeezes more firmly.

 

They're sitting around a booth in a bar, poked off into the corner so people will leave them alone and Abby and Patty - engaged in a reasonably deep discussion with Jillian about the weight reduction in their packs - don't seem to take in Erin's squeak at all.

 

Erin thinks it's a little strange that Jillian doesn't outwardly acknowledge the movement but then her hand starts to move _higher_ and Erin **understands**.

 

The barman comes over a minute later and Jillian leans in to Erin's ear while Abby and Patty are distracted giving their drinks order, and whispers _‘quiet’_ under her breath.

 

Erin's about to ask _what the hell for_ when the other two turn around and Jillian slides her hand up Erin's skirt simultaneously.

 

Her hand is cold from holding her drink and Erin can't help the gasp that escapes from her lips as Jillian's hand settles.

 

“Are you ok?” Abby asks with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Fine,” Erin grits out. “Hiccups.”

 

Abby shrugs and they resume their conversation as Jillian's hand continues its route up the inside of Erin's thigh.

 

Really, Erin knows she could just stop this if she really wanted too but she's been dying to touch Jillian all day, and they haven't done _this_ before. It's loud and dark in the bar so they have some cover at least.

 

Erin moves her hand off the table, sinking her nails into the meat of Jillian's thigh to ground herself, and Jillian jumps at the bite at her skin too.

 

“Are you sure you two are ok?” Abby says, slightly more suspiciously.

 

“Fine and dandy, Abs,” Jillian says easily. “Must have been a sympathy hiccup.”

 

Abby's eyes narrow but she doesn't say anything, and as soon as she looks away Jillian's hand moves again.

 

Erin shifts slightly under the table, spreading her legs to give Jillian a little more room and she doesn't waste any time, sliding her index and middle finger up to brush at the front of Erin's underwear.

 

Erin can see Jillian bite her lip out of the corner of her eye and Erin knows it's because she can feel that she's _soaking_ already.

 

Erin's mouth curves up in an almost smile but it's wiped in the second that follows because Jillian's fingers slip without ceremony, beneath the fabric of her underwear.

 

It takes almost biting into her lip to stop Erin from moaning out loud because Jillian's fingers are bold and quick, wasting no time slipping against her before they dip ever so softly _inside_.

 

Abby and Patty are too distracted to notice so Jillian smiles to herself and continues to move her fingers in firm circles, one of them dipping _low_ on each pass.

 

Erin's grip on Jillian's leg tightens in response, and she feels a small prick of pride when Jillian hisses under her breath at the sting of Erin's nails through the fabric of her jeans.

 

She doesn't _stop_ though, and Erin can feel herself growing wetter and wetter in response.

 

Erin keeps herself out of the conversation as much as she can, but Patty looks to her after a minute and Jillian takes the opportunity to slip a finger **fully** inside when Erin opens her mouth to reply.

 

“I don't kno…. _oh_ ,” she gasps and Jillian stops, expertly, to let Erin finish the rest of her broken sentence as she turns to Erin with a look of complete innocence and attention.

 

Erin squirms because Jillian's still _inside her_ and the blonde leans forward under the pretense of looking more interested, but it's really so she can slide another finger in to join the first.

 

She strokes them in and out a few times, curling them as she does so and it's _almost_ more than Erin can handle, but she won't give in and excuse herself because she doesn't want to give Jillian the victory.

 

Not tonight.

 

Her hand curls harder into Jillian's leg when Jillian picks up the pace. Normally it would take Erin longer than this to get anywhere near close, but the thrill of being caught is _something else_ and it's pushing her along with paws stretched out and nails **deep** in her back.

 

She watches as Jillian turns, makes note of the colour of Erin’s cheeks and smiles before she curls her fingers one last time and her thumb brushes roughly at Erin’s clit, and then she's _gone_.

 

Erin does everything she can to try and keep a lid on the fire under her skin but it's _so fucking hard_ because Jillian still hadn't stopped moving her fingers and she's grinning now, and Erin thinks she might come again.

 

Erin drops her head, looking at the table to hide her blush and clenches her spare hand into a fist, sinking her nails into her palm as the waves overtake her again.

 

She lets out a shaky, shuddery breath and looks up to see Jillian artfully carrying the conversation with absolutely no hint whatsoever as to where her hands are.

 

Erin takes a long sip of her drink before looking up to Abby, her eyes creased in keen suspicion, and then to Jillian who's smiling brighter than the sun.

 

“And that's how I got you off,” Jillian says nonchalantly, and Erin blanches because she knows she was distracted but surely she wasn't _that_ distracted.

 

“Off of the main power grid, I mean babe,” Jillian clarifies before knocking her glass to Erin's. “Cheers.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Eight.**

Relax.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's worried.

 

She's worried because sometimes Jillian is quiet, retreats into her own head for a while but it's been a week now and she's barely said boo in days unless Erin speaks first.

 

She knows she's tired because they've been crazy lately, and Jillian's been spreading herself too thin trying to fix a problem with their packs stalling in the December cold.

 

When they get home on Friday night in the middle of a storm Erin can't take it anymore and as soon as she shrugs off her wet jacket she turns to Jillian.

 

“Have I done something?” Erin asks a little sadly. And she's almost certain she hasn't but she needs to check.

 

“Because it's felt a bit like I've been living with a ghost this week Jill.”

 

Erin watches as her face falls and no, this isn't what she had wanted, to make her feel _worse_.

 

Holtz opens her mouth to speak but closes it again, raising her hands in a desperate gesture that says ‘ _I don't really know what's wrong_ ’ and ‘I _'m sorry_ ’ and her eyes start to fill with tears.

 

“Hey, Jill, no that's not what I….I just wanted to make sure you were ok. That _we_ were ok and this is just work and us putting too much on you, which needs to stop. I'm not….I didn't want to make you feel guilty.”

 

Jillian sort of softens at that, and Erin can see her shoulders buckle slightly under the pressure sitting atop them.

 

She hates seeing her like this, it doesn't happen often but it _does happen_ because sometimes they take her flexibility and her stretch for granted, and Erin knows it has to stop.

 

When she is like this, Erin knows it's hard for her to speak so she steps forward, threads her fingers through the spaces between Jillian's that were made for her.

 

“You don't have to say anything,” Erin says softly. “Just nod, ok?”

 

_A nod._

 

“We've put too much on you and I'm so sorry. It stops now ok?”

 

_A nod._

 

“Are you in any way mad at me?”

 

_A shake._

 

“Are we ok?”

 

_A nod._

 

“Is it just work stuff?”

 

_A nod._

 

“Not anything else?”

 

_A shake._

 

“Ok, good. That's good at least. We can fix that,” Erin says, bringing their bodies closer together in an attempt to calm Jillian down.

 

It works, if the way she folds _beautifully_ against Erin is anything to go by.

 

Erin brings her arms around Jillian's shoulders and the blonde's lips skitter over Erin's neck and she shivers at the heat it stirs, in spite of the storm roaring outside.

 

“I'm sorry,” Jillian mumbles against Erin's pulse. “I'm not very good at talking about my feelings or when I'm stressed. I kind of just internalise it.”

 

“I know,” Erin says softly. “We can stop putting so much pressure on you but this goes both ways, Jill. You have to let us know when it's too much.”

 

She nods against Erin's neck and she's struck for a moment by the youth in Jillian's pain, because most of the time she's so strong and _this_ makes Erin remember how young she really is.

 

“You don't have to do this alone anymore, remember?” Erin says bringing her hands to trace the line of Jillian's jaw.

 

Jillian looks at her, _finally_ , with watery blue eyes and Erin is struck suddenly by the beauty in them.

 

“I love you,” Erin says, her smile soft but laced with the same hint of flame she can feel in Jillian’s body suddenly too.

 

She bends, sinuously around Erin, and when she smiles Erin knows she wants this too.

 

“Let me show you.”

 

 

-

 

 

The rain is hard against the windows when Erin pushes Jillian down onto the bed, her pants and shirt somewhere on the floor behind them.

 

“Uh-uh,” Erin tisks. “I'm in charge tonight. This is about you, remember?”

 

“I don't like….”

 

“I know you don't. But it's too bad, alright. Because I'm going to touch you until I feel that stress melt from your body. Do you understand? And then when I'm satisfied, you can do whatever you want to me.”

 

“Promise?” Jillian asks dangerously.

 

“Yes,” Erin says gulping in anticipation, because Jillian is nothing if not _creative_.

 

“Get to work then Gilbert, and I'll think up the ways to take you apart while you touch me.”

 

Erin smiles because _this_ is better.

 

 _This_ is her Jillian, and _this_ is what she wanted, even if she does need to think of a way to knock her off that pedestal she's climbed up on again.

 

She pauses for a minute, rolls the possibilities around on her tongue and Jillian just stares up at her from her position between Erin's thighs.

 

“Maybe I'll touch myself instead?” Erin drawls, licking her lips. “If it's such a _chore_ to have me touch you.”

 

Erin pulls her shirt off over her head, tossing it over her shoulder before looking down at Jillian with hot, dark eyes.

 

“I mean, it's a **waste** otherwise. I might as well enjoy it myself,” she says as she trails her hand down her stomach.

 

She chances a look at Jillian and sees bright eyes _wide_ and want **pounding** through the pulse at her neck, even in the dark.

 

Erin smiles, never taking her eyes off Jillian as she dips her hand into her own waistband, bucking slightly at the wetness she finds there. She starts to move slowly, her hips chasing her own hand when she hears a moan beneath her and Jillian speaks, finally.

 

“Me,” she croaks. “Touch me, please.”

 

“Oh _baby_ ,” Erin moans. “I didn't think I'd get you to beg.”

 

 

-

 

 

It's not the last time that evening. Not by a long shot.

 

Erin growls as she moves over Jillian's body, the possessiveness created as a by-product of Jillian's softness rolling off her in waves.

 

She bites and teases and holds off giving Jillian what she wants until she gives Erin what she wants. Until she begs, _again_.

 

“Fuck you,” Jillian grits out when Erin withdraws her fingers _just_ as Jillian's about to come.

 

“It’s catharsis, _love_ ,” Erin says before she sucks a nipple between her teeth. “It's supposed to hurt a little.”

 

“I'm going to get you back for this…. _Jesus_ Erin.”

 

“You can try,” Erin says, the challenge singing in the space between them.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“To work you up until you break, properly. I know you Jill, you won't let this stress go unless I take it from you.”

 

“I'll let it go.”

 

“No, you won't. But I'm going to make you.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Please Erin, _please_.”

 

“Please what, Jillian?”

 

“ _Please_ , let me **come**.”

 

“See? That wasn't too hard now, was it?”

 

 

-

 

 

She pushes **hard** once the words fall from Jillian's lips, sliding her fingers home in one long stroke.

 

“ _Easy_ ,” she whispers to the swell of Jillian's breast when she arches off the bed into Erin's arms. “We've got so long to go, yet.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Nine.**

Drunk.

 

 

-

 

 

“You're drunk.”

 

“So are you.”

 

“Not as drunk as you.”

 

“Maybe not, but drunk enough to let me have you here?”

 

“Here being against a tree outside this very extravagant wedding gazebo?”

 

“If you need to be _so_ specific.”

 

 _A pause_.

 

“Come on Er, I'll make it worth your while.”

 

“I know you will. That's not what I'm worried about Jillian.”

 

“What then? Being caught? That's half the fun.”

 

“My girlfriend the exhibitionist. _Wonderful_.”

 

“Well, if you really don't want to….”

 

“I didn't say that, now did I?”

 

“Erin _Gilbert_ , that's _very_ forward of you.”

 

“Oh I'm sorry, shall I take it back? You feel so _ready_ though Jill. Does this do that much for you?”

 

“Erin, are you actually asking if it does that much for me to have my mouth-wateringly hot girlfriend pin me against a tree and put her hand down my pants?”

 

“Well, when you put it that way….”

 

“Stop talking Gilbert, I'm sure we can find a better use for that mouth of yours.”

 

 

-

 

 

She shouldn't be on her knees but she is.

 

On her knees leaning on Jillian's suit blazer with her mouth pulling moans from between Jillian's lips like melodies.

 

She pulls away with a growl when another _louder_ moan follows.

 

“You're going to have to keep it down. The music’s loud but it's not _that_ loud.”

 

“That's a little harder said than done when your mouth is on me _Erin_.”

 

“Oh, shall I stop then?” Erin asks teasing.

 

“You stop and you'll pay for it later,” Jillian says warningly.

 

“Words whispered while I'm on my knees for you should be charming, _love_ ,” Erin says as she nips the inside of Jillian's thigh.

 

“Maybe I should teach you a thing or two about manners?” Erin says with a smirk as she leans up slightly.

 

She holds onto one hip with a firm grip as she pushes inside, quite unceremoniously, with the other and smiles as Jillian's legs _buckle_ beneath her.

 

“ _Jesus_ Erin,” she moans as her hands scramble for the solidity of the tree to stabilise herself.

 

“Come on Jill,” Erin says as she leans in again, licking her lips in anticipation. “Show me how _good_ you can be.”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin learns two things in the minutes that follow.

 

The first, is that Jillian definitely has an affinity for being taken outside in the open if the way she positively _drips_ around Erin's fingers is anything to go by.

 

The second is that this is an excellent vantage point to take her from, because it means Erin can go _deep_.

 

Jillian's not a huge fan of penetration, so Erin doesn't normally use more than a couple of fingers, and sometimes it's not quite enough but more is uncomfortable, so this is perfect.

 

Because she can feel the way Jillian's relishing the **stretch** and _pull_ in the way her body draws Erin's fingers deeper with each thrust.

 

And Erin can tell she _needs_ it in the way she arches off against the tree, into Erin’s mouth and onto her fingers.

 

Sensing the change in Jillian's body Erin moves forward slightly, entices Jillian's foot out of the leg of her pants so Erin can hook it over her shoulder.

 

It's so much _better_ like this because Jillian pushes herself down onto Erin, and she's just so **open** and her fingers are wound through Erin's hair pulling it loose from the updo she had spent so long doing but she doesn't care.

 

She's so close now, that telltale tremble starting in her thighs and Erin growls against sensitive flesh, desperate to throw her headfirst off the edge.

 

It's the vibration that does it.

 

Jillian gasps _hard_ and then she's coming, falling to pieces against Erin.

 

She pulls away slowly, easing her down but staying on her knees, holding her hands against Jillian's hips to make sure she doesn't fall.

 

“God you look edible down there,” Jillian says as she runs her hands shakily through her own hair.

 

“Jesus Christ Erin, that was….”

 

“Satisfactory?” She asks grinning up at Jillian.

 

“Incoherency inducing, more like. Will you do that again?”

 

“Now?” Erin asks, surprised.

 

“I think you'd give me a heart attack if you did that again now. After dessert maybe? I could do with a second course.”

 

“What's in it for me?” Erin asks, grinning as Jillian pulls her to her feet, not meaning it in the slightest.

 

She wipes delicately at the edge of her mouth and Jillian's mouth just falls open.

 

“Come on,” Erin says as she leans down to help pull Jillian’s pants back up her legs, dragging her fingertips across the front of Jillian's underwear with a purposefully delicate touch.

 

“You know,” Erin says nonchalantly as she takes Jillian's hand. “Those tablecloths provide _excellent_ cover. Maybe that'll **inspire** something.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Ten.**

Rough.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's legs wind around Holtz's hips and squeeze, dragging her hips _hard_ down onto Erin's.

 

It brings Jillian's pelvis flush against Erin's and she moans as she pushes herself up, desperate for _more_.

 

“A _week_ , Jillian. You made me wait a _week_.”

 

“Payback’s a bitch, huh?”

 

Erin slips her hands beneath Jillian's shirt and her nails rake eight parallel lines hard against the skin of Jillian's back as she arches further into Erin’s touch.

 

“Ah…. _Jesus_ Erin.”

 

“I'll kiss them better later,” Erin growls. “They won't be the last ones.”

 

“Oh, _that's_ how it's going to be is it?”

 

“A _week_ , Jillian. Amongst which you decided to get yourself off and not let me touch you.”

 

“Come on, tell me you didn't love that a little bit too.”

 

“It was torture. And then you invited the others out for dinner so I couldn't _do_ anything about it.”

 

Erin tries to roll them then, hooks her leg around Jillian's thigh and twists.

 

But Holtz is stronger and as soon as Erin's on top she flips them again, grabbing Erin's hands the second she feels the other woman falter.

 

She pins them hard above Erin's head, putting the full weight of her body down through her arm while the other moves to pull at the buckle of Erin's pants.

 

“I'm stronger than you, _remember_ ,” Jillian says smiling down at Erin. “Still want to play that hand Er, or do you want to reset the deck?”

 

Erin just grits her teeth and snarls, the heat rolling off her in waves.

 

“Do your worst.”

 

“My _pleasure_.”

 

 

-

 

 

“You're going to leave teeth marks _Jillian_.”

 

“You should have thought of that before you decided to tear my back to pieces, _baby_.”

 

“You can hide those.”

 

“I know, _wonderful_ isn't it? Shame we can’t do the same for your neck.”

 

 

-

 

 

She pushes into Erin with three fingers spread wide and Erin sinks her teeth into the skin of Jillian's shoulder to stop from screaming.

 

“Too much?”

 

“No. No. I just wasn't expecting…. _fuck_.”

 

“Use your words Erin.”

 

“How can I when I'm _full_ of you.”

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's laying on her front, her mouth biting into one pillow with another one under her, propping her hips up.

 

Jillian holds Erin’s hands behind her back as she pushes into her from behind, _again_ and _again_ and _again_.

 

“Tell me Miss Gilbert,” Holtz says low and dangerous into Erin's ear. “Are you going to think twice before challenging me again?”

 

It's hard, because Jillian's using her full weight to drive the thrusts of her hand, and Erin can't hold on to a full breath because Jillian keeps knocking them out of her lungs, but she _pushes_ because having Jillian take her like this is like _nothing_ else she's ever felt before.

 

And she wants to do it **again**.

 

“Never.”

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading you amazing things, I hope this successfully heats up your day wherever in the world you're reading this from.
> 
> Favourites? Highly commended? Stand-out lines?
> 
> x


	3. trois.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hands-off.  
> Dancing.  
> Paperwork.  
> Jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you wonderful, brilliant people for all the kudos and amazing comments thus far, I love you for them. 
> 
> I was going to say 'keep them coming' but I feel like that's too easy, or too punny given the subject matter of this fic.....
> 
> Anyway, happy saturday. Enjoy x

-

 

 

**Eleven.**

Hands-off.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin's mad.

 

Like _really_ fucking mad.

 

As soon as they walk through the door, Erin grabs Jillian's backpack off her, throwing it at the door by her coat and walking them backwards until she can push Jillian up against something vertical.

 

“What the hell was that, Jillian?”

 

She watches as a shiver of resistance and defiance sets itself across Jillian's features.

 

“I almost die on a bust and what? Your way of dealing with that is to try and do as much bodily harm as you can yourself? I don't know Er, that seems a bit backwards to me.”

 

_Excellent_. That's how this is going to go, then.

 

“Shut up,” Erin snaps, screwing her fists in the lapels of Jillian's jacket before shoving her back again.

 

She can see the anger and frustration in the way Jillian holds the line of her jaw, unwavering.

 

“I'm not going to roll over buttercup. I'm not sorry and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You before me, always.”

 

“And what about me, huh? What if I threw myself into danger like that? You wouldn't be mad at me?”

 

“Of course I would be. I'd chain you to the bed for a week.”

 

“Well, I think that's what the experts call a double standard _Jillian_.”

 

“Yes, thank you _Erin_. Look, I'm more elastic than you, alright? I can take a knock better. And I'm never not going to get between you and danger, I'm just not. So you need to be ok or not, but it's not going to change me.”

 

“You're so fucking stubborn, you know that right?”

 

“Yes, because you _so_ kindly keep reminding me.”

 

“Maybe we should test that then,” Erin says, her body shifting in a second with the idea that maybe she can get Jillian to agree another way, without argument or fuss.

 

“What do you mean?” Jillian asks suspiciously, taking note of the clear way Erin folds herself softer over Jillian in an instant.

 

“Maybe I can work that stubbornness out of you in a different way. Show you the benefits of _bending_.”

 

“How?”

 

“A game.”

 

“What kind of game?”

 

“Come,” Erin says taking Jillian by the hand, leading them towards the couch. “I'll show you.”

 

She walks them back until the back of Jillian's knees hit the couch and Erin pushes, climbing onto the blonde's lap as soon as her ass hits the cushions with a muffled thump.

 

Jillian's hands automatically settle against Erin's hips, digging her nails just enough to pinch and let Erin know she's still pissed off.

 

“Uh-uh,” Erin says smiling wickedly at Jillian. “No hands. Show me how deep in your blood that stubbornness goes _baby_. No touching, except to kiss. If you touch me first you lose.”

 

“I won't,” Jillian says, clear and defiant.

 

“We’ll see,” Erin says, tongue sliding over the point of her canine as she leans in.

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian's always been a good kisser.

 

Outstanding, actually if Erin's being specific, and she puts her _soul_ behind it now.

 

Erin's not sure how long they've been kissing for but it feels like hours and she can feel the wetness between her legs against the heat of Jillian’s lap which means _she_ can feel it too.

 

“How you doing there Er?” Jillian asks with a hot smirk when they break, _panting_ , for a second.

 

Erin can tell she's feeling it too, because she keeps wriggling against the telltale heat between her own thighs but she's got a poker face for the end of the fucking world and she looks like she could do this for _days_.

 

“Fine,” Erin grits between clenched teeth. “Just fine.”

 

Which Jillian knows is false because where she is calm, Erin is **hot**.

 

Her cheeks are flushed and her hair is messy where she has run her own hands through it, and her chest is heaving with the effort to keep her damn hands to herself, whereas Jillian looks utterly unfazed.

 

She's going to win, Erin realises with a prick of dread. She's going to fucking win and that cannot happen.

 

So she pauses and wracks her brain for _anything_ to get a foothold on.

 

Suddenly something comes to her but she frowns because if Jillian had been the one to pull it, Erin would have waved her flag in victory in an instant but she's desperate and she won't go down without a fight.

 

She leans in, pushing Jillian down into the back of the couch with the force of her kiss and bows her body just enough to fit her hand between them before sliding it beneath the waistband of her own pants.

 

It takes Jillian a second to realise what's going on but when she does she pulls away with snarl.

 

“What the hell do you think you're doing Erin?”

 

“It's not against the rules,” Erin pants against Jillian's lips as her hands slip against her clit. “I'm not touching you.”

 

“There is no _way_ that's in the fucking rules Gilbert,” Jillian hisses as she glances down between them between kisses.

 

“What are you going to do about it?” Erin challenges with one last wet kiss, her tongue sliding into Jillian's mouth effortlessly before Jillian _snaps_.

 

She hears the rumble before anything actually happens, the growl vibrating through her body as it leaves Jillian's, and before she can take a breath she feels hands slap around her ass as Jillian stands up, wrapping Erin's legs around her waist.

 

“You lose,” Erin gasps as Jillian smashes her mouth against Erin's.

 

“I don't fucking care,” Jillian says before she bites down hard on the flesh of Erin's neck as she walks them through the door of their bedroom.

 

She slams Erin up against the wall beside their bed and Erin loses her breath as Jillian's hands tear at the buttons of Erin's shirt, her teeth closing over the skin of Erin's breast as soon as the obstruction is removed.

 

Jillian pushes off the wall with her hips against Erin's, removing any remaining distance between them as she leverages off the momentum and turns them towards the bed.

 

Erin's back hits the mattress and Jillian's on her instantly, pulling Erin's hand from around her neck to hold them down above Erin's head with one hand while she undoes her belt with the other.

 

Erin blanches at the sight because _that's_ something they haven't done yet, but Jillian just smiles.

 

“Don't worry Er, it's not for _that_. Not yet anyway. Although you deserve it after that little performance. I've got a different punishment in mind for now.”

 

“What?” Erin moans as Jillian rolls her hips down against Erin's.

 

“You seem so interested in this no hands business I thought I'd take yours out of the equation for the evening. I think it's called _a taste of your own medicine_?”

 

“But I…” Erin starts before Jillian takes her hands and binds them to their bedhead with the belt.

 

“It's too late for excuses Erin. Is that too tight?”

 

Erin wants to push and scream but this Jillian above her is different, _dangerous_ , and it's doing nothing to assuage the heat between her legs so she bites her lip and sets her back and shakes her head instead.

 

“Good,” Jillian says looking pleased. “Now, _darling_. Let me teach you a little about the value in being stubborn.”

 

She trails her fingers lightly from Erin's breast right down to brush ever so gently against the crotch of her pants, pushing at the moisture collecting between her things.

 

“It means many things to me. Not being the first to crack when other people play by the rules, but more relevantly here, it means I can keep going, hold out even when someone _begs_ me to give them what they want.”

 

“Shall I show you?”

 

 

-

 

 

It's pure fucking torture because of _course_ she's good at this.

 

Jillian smiles up at Erin as she peels Erin's pants down her legs, kissing unevenly at new skin as she exposes it to the air.

 

She opens Erin's shirt and pushes her bra up over her breasts because she can't get it off with her arms bound and Erin thinks it might look silly but then she looks down the length of her own body and she _shudders_.

 

Because it doesn't look silly at all.

 

It looks….hot.

 

And it makes Erin _hotter_.

 

She feels like there’s acid in her veins now, and she writhes against the leather of Jillian's belt.

 

Jillian catches it too, once she comes up for air herself.

 

“Quite a sight, isn't it Gilbert?”

 

Erin doesn't want to speak, doesn't want to say anything to make this tension falter or skip a beat so she nods instead as she bites her lip.

 

“The best part is, I could just up and leave you if I wanted. And there isn't a thing you could do to stop me.”

 

Erin feels her face go white because Jillian's not wrong, and Erin hadn't actually thought about that before now.

 

She doesn't worry for long though, because Jillian breathes in her nerves and runs her hand down the hollow in the middle of Erin's body.

 

Between her breasts, down her stomach before she stops short at Erin's hips.

 

“Don't worry Erin, do you really think I could walk away from _this_?”

 

Erin feels a shiver crawl down the knots of her spine, partly in relief but mostly in response to the timbre of Jillian's voice because it _rings_ with the weight of everything she wants to **do**.

 

And it's intoxicating.

 

“I want to play a little game with you now, baby,” Jillian says as she looks down at Erin fondly. “It's called how many times can I make you beg me before _I_ bend.”

 

 

-

 

 

The first thing Erin learns is that she'll never again underestimate the power of Jillian's iron-clad will because she takes Erin to pieces, reduces her to an incoherent mess and doesn't break a damn sweat.

 

The second is that Jillian's been holding back.

 

Not in a big way, because they've been rough before. They've ridden the line between what they can both take and what they can't, but in a different way.

 

Because Jillian wears dominance like a second skin, and Erin just melts beneath her because she's never seen her like _this_ before.

 

 

-

 

 

Eight times.

 

That's how many times Erin begs before Jillian finally touches her with more than a feather light touch and Erin almost comes apart at once.

 

She doesn't though, she holds her orgasm in the space between her nails and the palm of her hand because Jillian looks so fucking smug that Erin _refuses_ to give in just yet.

 

 

-

 

 

“Come on Erin, do you think I can't see what you're doing? Let it go.”

 

“I don't want to give you…. _fuck_ Jillian….the satisfaction.”

 

“You're only torturing yourself now, you realise that right?”

 

“My terms,” she grits out. “I want it to be on _my_ terms.”

 

“Oh Erin, you don't have that kind of power here, now. You're mine, _see_?”

 

 

-

 

 

Her traitorous body.

 

Her traitorous body comes on demand completely without her acquiescence and comes apart around Jillian's fingers.

 

It's huge. It shakes her entire body because she's been so worked up for so long and _fucking_ Jillian is just that _fucking_ good with her hands.

 

“What do you say Er,” she says leaning down to kiss Erin softly. “Shall we try for another?”

 

 

-

 

 

**Twelve.**

Dancing.

 

 

-

 

 

The club is hot and crowded and Jillian's breasts are pressing up against her back and Erin moans as her teeth nip at her earlobe from behind.

 

It's been a long, hard week and they had all unanimously decided to come out and get roaringly drunk.

 

Which is how Erin finds herself dancing in the middle of a heavily crowded bar pressed hard up against Jillian's front, the blonde's hands sitting dangerously low on the waist of her pants.

 

They're black and kind of loose and floaty and she's wearing a dressy little singlet top that's long since come loose and she looks _good_ , even if she does say so herself.

 

And so does Jillian, if the dumb look that graced her face when Erin had come out of their room earlier was anything to go by.

 

She knows she shouldn't because she's not a fucking teenager but it's been hard enough to keep her hands to herself today because Jillian had done her hair with that scarf she _knows_ Erin loves, and she's that hot up that she'd probably get on her knees right here if the blonde asked.

 

And yeah, it's dark and crowded and she's drunk so she only feels a little bit bad when she guides Jillian's hand to the hot strip of skin above the top of her underwear.

 

She tips her head back baring her neck, and Holtz leans in so she can hear Erin whisper.

 

“I want you to touch me, **now**.”

 

Erin feels Jillian's knees buckle behind her own but she doesn't waste any time, her hand sliding easily beneath to finally _touch_ as she sinks her teeth into Erin's neck.

 

Erin's own knees go then, but Jillian's there like a brace at her back pushing Erin onto her hand from behind.

 

It's a little awkward because the angle isn't perfect but it's enough and Jillian pushes _in_ with little ceremony and Erin almost comes on the spot.

 

“Jesus Erin,” Holtz moans in her ear. “Did you feel how easy that was for me?”

 

“Yes,” Erin moans in response as she bends herself against Jillian's body.

 

She withdraws her fingers ever so slowly but doesn't move them away, just starts drawing firm circles against Erin's centre as she pushes back into Jillian's body as tightly as she can.

 

She continues like that for a few minutes, and Erin’s pulse falls in line with the heavy bass pounding in the background before Holtz drops her fingers an inch and slides in again.

 

“I want to do this properly,” Jillian breathes as Erin starts to shake beneath her fingers that are pushing in and out, two at a time, and then three.

 

“I want to take you home and take you apart so many times you push me off because you can't _take_ it anymore.”

 

“ _God_ , Jill,” is all she manages in response because Jillian's other hand moves from her hip up to squeeze roughly at her breast before it dips down too.

 

And then she's using two hands and the pressure against Erin's clit is insistent and she just _drops,_ straight off the edge.

 

But Jillian doesn't stop there, she keeps moving, draws another with her teeth at Erin’s throat like a lion and it's _everything_ but she wants **more**.

 

“Home,” Erin gasps as Jillian's hands draw away torturously slow. “Take me home. _Now_.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Thirteen.**

Paperwork.

 

 

-

 

 

“I've always wanted to take you on your desk on top of all your pretty little academic papers, you know?”

 

Erin's breath is pulled from her chest with a _thump_ when Holtz picks her up and deposits her with little ceremony on top of the organised mess of her workspace, before crawling on top of her.

 

“Reading the published piece in a journal, or knowing it was work to be handed back to someone else that was beneath us when I'd made you come is so fucking hot.”

 

Jillian's mouth is hot at her neck and her hands are quick and urgent at the buttons of Erin's shirt.

 

She's wearing one of her old tweed combos today, and she _had_ been to the University in the morning to give a guest lecture but still, she's never this formal now. Not anymore.

 

Jillian growls in frustration at the buttons before gritting her teeth and _tugging_ and Erin's not even angry as they tear open because Jillian's never this impatient, _ever_ and it's making her blood pound.

 

“Did you wear the suit on purpose today?”

 

Jillian's mouth is at the swell of her breast now and she pushes Erin's bra up and out of the way rather than taking it off completely.

 

“Maybe…. _god_ Jill,” Erin gasps when Jillian pulls a nipple into her mouth.

 

“Good. I was hoping you'd say that. Now I don't have to be gentle.”

 

“Ho….how does that equate to _that_?” Erin stutters as Jillian's hands join her mouth at her breast and _squeeze_ as Jillian's teeth close around pale flesh.

 

“We've talked about this Erin, **remember**?”

 

And _fuck_ , Erin does remember now. Remembers with a paling clarity that Jillian had told her how much the suits turned her on, and what she'd do if Erin wore them to work again.

 

“I told you in response to the torture you'd put me through all day having to watch you but not being able to touch you, that I'd take you to pieces until you couldn't stand it anymore.”

 

Erin swallows heavily because to Jillian that could mean _anything_. She's certainly never been short of creativity when it came to this before now.

 

“Now, where to begin?” Jillian says as she leans back, licking her lips in contemplation.

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian's version of revenge, as it turns out, is bringing Erin to orgasm as many times as she can, as quickly as she can.

 

Erin's on her back for the first three, up on her elbows with Jillian between her legs for the fourth, bent over the desk with Jillian pushing into her from behind for the fifth and sixth, at the end of which she collapses forward on the desk, panting.

 

She's exhausted and her stomach aches from tensing and her hands are white knuckled from holding on to the edge of the desk in a desperate attempt to find _something_ to ground her.

 

“Jill, I don't think I can….”

 

“Yes you can Erin. One more. I want one more.”

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian pulls her up and into her lap where she's now sitting in Erin's high backed chair.

 

Erin leans heavily against her and Jillian uses their position to lean in and whisper into Erin's ear.

 

“Come on baby, I want one more. I know you can give me that.”

 

She takes Erin's lobe between her teeth, pulling slowly, and Erin feels the shiver pass through her into the blonde whose teeth close harder around flesh in response.

 

Erin winds her hands into loose blonde hair, relaxing into Jillian's touch as her body starts _responding_ again.

 

“Atta-girl,” Jillian smiles against the Erin's throat as her hands slide beneath Erin's skirt one last time.

 

 

-

 

 

It's truly incredible how much her body will _give_ considering what it's been through thus far, and Erin wonders if it's something to do with this bond between them now.

 

Because they crave each other every second of every day and it's _never_ enough.

 

Jillian's hands are gentler now but just as firm, **pushing** and _pulling_ and Erin can feel the tingle start in her stomach.

 

Erin's arms are draped around Jillian's neck, and she has one between Erin's legs and the other at her lower back, coaxing Erin onto her fingers.

 

Erin's half panting now, her chest shaking beneath the effort, but she grits her teeth because she's _so_ _close_ and she wants to enjoy the last.

 

Jillian pushes slightly at Erin’s back on the next inward movement of her hand and she leans in to whisper in Erin's ear.

 

“That's it Erin. Now, you can come _now_.”

 

And she does.

 

 

-

 

 

“I think you're going to need to carry me home.”

 

“Good. If you'd been able to walk out of here I'd have said we might need to go one or two more rounds.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Fourteen.**

Jealous.

 

 

-

 

 

“Jill, what are you….?”

 

Erin tries to ask breathlessly as Jillian pulls her further into the bathroom of the restaurant, locking the door behind them.

 

Erin feels her back hit the wall of the large private bathroom with a thud, and she doesn't get a chance to as much as voice a complaint because Jillian's lips find hers the second later, her tongue sliding into Erin's mouth insistently.

 

Erin's caught off guard for about a second before her brain finally starts working and she tries to _push_ against Jillian where her hands are pinning Erin's hips up against the wall.

 

She doesn’t get far because Jillian’s grip is _tight_ , so she does what she can, sliding her fingers into Jillian's hair and _pulling_ , making Jillian bare her neck in response.

 

She closes her teeth around Jillian's neck, **hard** , and it's enough to get the blonde to pause and look at Erin with hot, hungry eyes.

 

But there's something else there Erin hasn't seen before. _Anger_ , maybe?

 

“Enjoy your little _chat_ with our waitress, did you?” Jillian asks primly, moving in for Erin's neck where her mouth latches on and she kisses roughly, bringing blood to the surface in her wake.

 

“What are you…?” Erin starts before she finally catches on.

 

_Oh_.

 

She's jealous.

 

Jillian Holtzmann is _jealous_.

 

Erin grins easily because, yes - she had known the waitress was flirting with her, and no - there was nothing on earth that she would ever do to compromise her relationship with Jillian, because she's _everything_ Erin could ever have dreamed of wanting.

 

But Erin's never seen this side of Holtz before, and she wants to see how far she can _push_ it.

 

“Don't know what you're talking about _baby_ ,” Erin husks into Jillian's ear. “I only have eyes for you.”

 

“You're mine, Erin Gilbert. No one else's to have.”

 

“So _have_ me then.”

 

 

-

 

 

It becomes clear in the following minutes that Jillian's M.O. is to leave Erin with enough marks on her that when they leave the bathroom no one will have _any_ difficulty recognising who Erin belongs too.

 

Jillian's teeth bite into her neck and draw the flesh hard against her tongue, sucking until she's _sure_ she's left another bruise.

 

She moves down the curve of Erin's shoulder doing the same thing and **really** , Erin should push her away because she's a thirty something year old woman and she shouldn't have hickies but honestly, she doesn't think she's ever been so turned on by something so _simple_.

 

The next second though Jillian's hands pull at the hem of her dress, rucking it up around her waist and Erin can't form a coherent thought beyond _holy_ _shit_.

 

 

-

 

 

“Tell me Er, tell me you're mine.”

 

“Oh **god** Jillian. I'm _yours_. I've only ever been yours.”

 

“ _Good_. Now let's make sure no one else makes the mistake of thinking you're not, hmmm?”

 

 

-

 

 

She comes, with Jillian's fingers three deep inside her and her teeth at her inner thigh, so **hard** she can't _breathe_.

 

 

-

 

 

The waitress doesn't meet her eyes, flushed redder than Erin when they leave.

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's everyone going? Still alive? 
> 
> x


	4. quatre.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tease.  
> Family dinner.  
> Camping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a bossy!Holtz kink, *you* have a bossy!Holtz kink....
> 
> These are longer than the others, hence why there's three. Also, I think these are getting more and more *not pg*, so please bear that in mind when reading on.
> 
> xx

-

 

 

**Fifteen.**

Tease.

 

 

-

 

 

“Come on Erin that's not fair.”

 

“What's not fair?”

 

“You knew I had this work to do and now you're doing _that_ because you know I won't be able to say no.”

 

Jillian's sitting at the desk in their apartment trying to finish one of the few bits of paperwork she ever has to do, but she was the one that wanted to set up the scholarship for underprivileged teens with a talent in the sciences so really, she only has herself to blame for her current misfortune.

 

It's Thursday night, and Erin's _always_ warmer on Thursdays because it's almost the weekend and while they adore their jobs, spending the weekend wrapped up together still has a _pull_ to it.

 

So it's Thursday and Jillian's trying to work which **never** happens and Erin walks out of their bedroom in a robe that, judging by the swoop of the neckline has nothing but lacy black lingerie beneath it.

 

“I don't know what you're talking about _Jillian_. I'm just coming to say good night,” Erin says casually, leaning down to kiss the side of Jillian's neck.

 

Her hands slide along Jillian's shoulders as she sits at the desk, trying to engage every ounce of her self control to abstain from picking Erin up bodily and teaching her a few things about _appropriate timing._

 

“See you in bed?” Erin says against Jillian's pulse, and before Jillian can actually do anything she's gone.

 

She sits there for a minute, tapping her pen on her knee trying to focus on the pile of application forms in front of her when she hears a soft moan echo from their bedroom a few feet away off the lounge and kitchen area.

 

No, Jillian thinks to herself.

 

She couldn't be.

 

But there's another and it's louder this time and Jillian feels a hot shot of warmth spike between her legs at the sound because her body _always_ responds to Erin's like this - like **magic** \- and Erin fucking knows it.

 

Jillian growls as she pushes up and away from the desk, following the sound of Erin's soft exhalations, almost losing her breath when she finally sees.

 

She half collapses against the door frame because Erin's laying in bed, the top sheet draped loosely over the lower half of her body, her lace clad breasts free to the air.

 

It's dark in the room but the moonlight’s coming in through the window, throwing shadows over pale skin and Jillian feels her knees tremble because it's breathtaking.

 

Erin's hand is moving between her legs and her eyes are screwed shut and Jillian can see the blush crawling over the swell of her chest inspite of the darkness.

 

Jillian's not naïve, she knows Erin touches herself, especially on the odd occasion that one of them is out of town for a few days - because she does too - but she's never actually _watched_ before and it truly is something else.

 

Erin hasn't actually realised Jillian's in the room yet, or if she has she's doing a damn good job of pretending she hasn't noticed, so Jillian bites her lip because she wants to see how this _ends_.

 

It doesn't take very long, Erin had obviously been desperate for a release beforehand, and for a second Jillian feels guilty because she should have realised, but then - this might just turn out better.

 

She watches as Erin's hand moves more frantically beneath the sheet and Erin starts writhing under her own touch and then she _comes_ , short and sharp, and she collapses against the soft bed.

 

It's beautiful to watch and Jillian can feel the heat under her own skin start to itch as her hands curl into fists at her sides, desperate to touch.

 

After a few minutes Erin's eyes flutter open and she takes in Jillian's silhouette against the door frame.

 

She pushes the sheet off and crawls towards the end of the bed like a cat, her shoulder blades cutting through the smooth skin of her back and Jillian moves towards her without thinking.

 

Erin's hands settle around the waistband of Jillian’s pants, pulling the blonde towards her.

 

“Like what you saw?”

 

“You know I did. Which is why I'm here watching you get yourself off instead of doing my work. How long did you know I was there for?”

 

“I don't know,” Erin says, rising up on her knees in a challenge. “I hoped the whole time but I didn't want to open my eyes.”

 

“You did that on purpose Erin. You _know_ I have to finish that work before tomorrow.”

 

She matches Jillian's gaze, not giving an inch as she sets her back against the **pull** she and Jillian can both feel aching between them.

 

“Maybe I did. And maybe I couldn't help myself. What are you going to do about it?”

 

Her lip curls up at the corner and Jillian feels the rumble low in her chest because the beast in her belly loves Erin like this - loose and wanton and dangerously flippant with her own body in Jillian's hands.

 

Jillian moves carefully, considered, to grab Erin's hands and set them to work unbuttoning her shirt.

 

“Take this off, and then I'll _show_ you.”

 

Erin pales a little because Jillian's voice is hard but her body is soft and she can't help but shiver when Erin's hands slide the shirt from her shoulders.

 

Her hands move to the buckle of Jillian's pants before they pause, and she looks up for a sign to continue.

 

Jillian nods, and Erin's hands move teasingly against the skin of her stomach as she pops open the button and slides Jillian's pants down her legs.

 

“Now,” Jillian says thoughtfully but her eyes are dark enough to make Erin shudder now too. “Tell me Erin, if this was a lesson, how _hard_ do you think I need to be?”

 

 

-

 

 

She's holding Erin's hands on either side of her head, her hips pressing Erin firmly down into the bed.

 

She holds the position for a while, feels Erin aching against her before she rolls her hips, her pelvis and thigh pressing deliciously against Erin's core which is _soaking_ through the thin lace that's still between them.

 

This is one of her favourite things to do, to tease Erin, because her body just reacts in the most _satisfying_ way.

 

She leans down to press a hard kiss to Erin's lips, her tongue pressing insistently into Erin's mouth and she moans, deep and loud.

 

She loves Jillian like this too, pushy and rough and in contrast to how soft she bends around Erin during the day.

 

“Touching yourself Erin, _really_? What did you think was going to happen? Or is this exactly what you wanted all along?”

 

“So what if it was?”

 

“You could have asked, instead of playing me like that.”

 

“I didn't want to just give. I wanted you to take.”

 

“Oh don't worry. I _will_.”

 

 

-

 

 

She brings Erin up onto her knees before flipping her to lay face down against the mattress.

 

She slides her hand around between Erin's legs in the hollow created by their bent hips before she presses down against Erin’s ass with her pelvis, pushing Erin against her fingers.

 

“Is this what you wanted Erin?” She asks, whispering low into Erin's ear.

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Erin moans, and Jillian can feel how much that's true in the way the words drip from her lungs.

 

“You're mine,” Jillian whispers. “Only mine.”

 

“Only yours,” Erin purrs in agreement as Jillian's hand slips between her legs.

 

“You look _edible_ on your knees Erin,” Jillian says, nipping the skin of Erin's neck. “Now, _baby_ , what do you say we have some fun?”

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian crashes into Erin from behind, pushing the weight of her hips through her hand when her fingers push in _again_ and _again_ and _again_.

 

It's **far** from gentle but Erin hands herself over without the slightest hesitation, and Jillian doesn't stop _taking_.

 

 

-

 

 

“Up,” Jillian says, standing back on her knees on the bed, pulling Erin with her so her back lies flat against Jillian's front.

 

She's so soft and so pliant that she folds backwards like a ballerina, stretching her head back to bare her neck to Jillian's teeth.

 

She doesn't waste any time crawling her hands down Erin's sides, over the curve of her hips to slide against wet, _wet_ heat and Erin buckles forward before Jillian slides one arm under one arm and around Erin’s chest to hold Erin up against her.

 

“Stay here,” she growls into Erin's ear before she draws her short nails along the swell of Erin's breasts where she's holding Erin upright. “This is still a punishment, remember? Or do you need _reminding_ again?”

 

Erin shudders down the full length of her body and Jillian takes that as a **yes** , moving them towards the head of the bed.

 

She moves close behind Erin, still kneeling and places Erin's hands palm down on the wall above the top of the headboard.

 

“Keep them there, or I'll stop,” Jillian breathes as she moves forward, flush against Erin again, pushing in unceremoniously with two firm fingers.

 

The angle isn't easy to keep up but the heel of her palm keeps brushing up against Erin's clit making her wriggle something _beautiful_ , and she's biting her lip in concentration to keep from moving her hands.

 

“Good girl.”

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian pulls Erin back to rest against her chest again when she starts to feel her begin to shake because she wants to feel this orgasm move through Erin, _inside_ and **out**.

 

She doesn't stop when the shaking slows, just keeps pushing and Erin's second orgasm hits her silently, but Jillian can feel it's **depth** in her own veins.

 

Erin's panting against her when Jillian finally draws her fingers away and she brings them to her mouth, sucking them clean over Erin's shoulder and watches as Erin quivers a little at the sight.

 

“Now,” Jillian drawls to the skin moving over Erin's pulse point. “What are _you_ going to do to make it up to me?”

 

 

-

 

 

**Sixteen.**

Family dinner.

 

 

-

 

 

“Erin, do you think you could show me where the washroom is again?”

 

“It's just down the hall,” Erin and her mother both parrot at the same time.

 

“I know, but it's a _big_ hallway,” Jillian says with a dangerous smile on her face and Erin knows something's up almost immediately.

 

“Ok, I'll show you,” Erin replies, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

 

“Do hurry Erin,” her mother snaps impatiently, not looking up from the vegetables she's chopping. “You _never_ come to visit, I’d rather you didn't waste it with your _friend_.”

 

“Whatever you say, Mother,” Erin says shortly, grabbing Jillian roughly by the arm before she drags them both out of the kitchen.

 

“Oh while you're down there bring back another bottle from the cellar.”

 

Erin doesn't bother answering, just slams the kitchen door behind them as she pulls Jillian down towards the bathroom.

 

Jillian hates this, visiting Erin's parents. The ones who steadfastly refuse to acknowledge their relationship and who borderline psychologically abused her as a child.

 

She _hates_ them.

 

Which is why she's just had the perfect idea about how to exact a bit of revenge.

 

Erin stops before the door to the washroom, the frown deep set into her face but it's gone, replaced with white surprise when Jillian pulls her bodily into the room, shoving her roughly up against the back of the door.

 

“Jill, what are you….?”

 

“Less talk, more touching. Ok?”

 

“What?” Erin says genuinely shocked. “No! Absolutely not we can't do that here. My mother will kill me if she finds out that….”

 

“That what? Her daughter’s roommate fucked her up against the wood paneling in their visitor's bathroom? I think I'd call that a victory babe.”

 

“Jillian, **no**. I'm serious. It was bad enough at school but not here not….oh _god_.”

 

“You're pretty wet _baby_ , for someone who doesn't want this.”

 

“Jillian, stop.”

 

“Do you really want me to? Really, really want me to? Because I will if you do, but dinner will be so much more palatable with an orgasm under your belt. I promise.”

 

She waits and watches as the stream of thought and consequence and desire tears through Erin's beautifully expressive face, and Jillian's actually braced for a **no** so her smile is almost ear to ear when Erin doesn't say anything, just grabs Jillian by the front of her shirt and crashes their lips together.

 

“You have to be quick,” Erin growls against Jillian's throat as Jillian hitches her skirt properly up over her hips.

 

“I don't think that's going to be a problem,” Jillian smiles as her fingers slide _so_ easily inside. “Do you?”

 

 

-

 

 

It's fast and a little rough and _hot_ and Jillian folds herself against the front of Erin's body, her teeth at Erin's neck and at the swell of her breasts and Jillian's spare hand tugs the buttons open to bare the skin to her touch.

 

She's quick and focused and starts curling her fingers soon after she starts moving inside Erin, not wasting any time searching for the trigger for her release.

 

Erin's breathing hard against her, not used to the swiftness with which Jillian's trying to bring her to orgasm.

 

Because normally they take their time, even when they shouldn't, but now Jillian's trying to _shove_ her off the cliff and she's struggling to keep up.

 

Jillian feels the quiver start a few minutes later though and she pushes harder, driving Erin relentlessly towards the release Jillian knows she so desperately needs.

 

It hits her hard and Jillian thinks it takes her by surprise because Erin gasps at Jillian's ear like she's just come up for air after a life spent under water.

 

“Easy Er,” she says quietly, drawing Erin down gently, and Erin sort of collapses bonelessly against the wall, her hands winding into Jillian's hair. “Easy.”

 

“ _Jesus_. I feel like I've run a marathon.”

 

“You look like it too,” Jillian laughs softly, threading a loose strand of hair back behind Erin's ear.

 

“My mother's going to know what we've been doing as soon as she sees me,” Erin says pushing Jillian off to look in the mirror.

 

“I know,” Jillian says with a smile. “But do you care now?”

 

“Not a damn bit,” Erin says with a reluctant smirk.

 

“Good,” Jillian says pulling Erin's skirt back down as she looks over Erin's shoulder to her reflection in the mirror. “You can think of all the ways to thank me while we're eating - that should get you through dinner.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Seventeen.**

Camping.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin hated camping.

 

_Fucking_ hated camping to be slightly more accurate.

 

But here they were, camping in the middle of nowhere to get rid of a ghost in an old tramping hut in the middle of nowhere.

 

Erin had wanted to turn it down but the others had been excited by the prospect of going somewhere _new_ , and the hut was on a main thoroughfare for hikers and in the end, they'd won out.

 

They hadn't known the exact state of the hut so had opted for tents just in case, which was lucky because on seeing the hut Erin's mood had gone from bad to worse.

 

“There's no _way_ I'm sleeping in there,” she had said crossing her arms. “Especially not if we're going to get a visitor in the middle of the night.”

 

“Tents it is,” Holtz had said, barely suppressing a smirk as she'd unloaded the car.

 

Which is how Erin found herself wrapped in layers and layers with a scowl as deep as her personality etched into her forehead.

 

The others were still outside around the fire but Erin had taken herself grumpily off to bed not long ago, their stories drifting easily through the still nights air to her position in bed.

 

She resigns herself to a shitty evening, pulling out her phone to try and kill some time before she feels drowsy enough to try and sleep.

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh come on Er, it's not _that_ bad,” Jillian says when she pushes the flap of their little two man tent open an hour or so later.

 

“It's as bad as I think it is _Jillian_ ,” Erin grumps back.

 

“Never take Erin camping again, check,” Jillian says making a mental note as she pulls her sweater off over her head, ready to crawl in beside Erin.

 

Her feet are cold against Erin's when she slides into the little make-shift bed and Erin's frown only deepens.

 

“Put your phone down, Gilbert,” Jillian says assertively as she takes note of Erin's scowl a second later. “Now.”

 

“Why,” Erin says exasperatedly. “So I can be even more miserable?”

 

“No,” Jillian says, taking it from her hand and tossing it somewhere by their feet. “So I can shake that shitty mood from you.”

 

Erin feels her skin cool a little at the tone in Jillian's voice.

 

Because it's low, _dangerous_. The special one she reserves for when Erin’s done something _really_ bad to piss her off.

 

Jillian sits up, pulling Erin into her lap. She winds Erin's hands behind her back, holding them tight as she leans in to whisper against Erin's lips.

 

“We are in the middle of a beautiful national park, I've never been camping before, and you're ruining my fun. So I'm going to change this mood Erin Gilbert, the easy way or the hard way. You choose.”

 

“Jill, you have to keep your voice down. The others are _so_ close,” Erin says, wriggling against Jillian's grip.

 

“I don't care. Keeping the noise down is your problem buttercup, not mine. I don't care if they hear you. And if you keep struggling you're only going to make this worse for yourself.”

 

Erin stills at that, because Jillian's eyes are hard and Erin knows better than to push when she's in a mood like this.

 

“Easy way or hard way Erin, choice is yours.”

 

“Easy,” Erin says, not in the mood for teasing.

 

“Hard it is,” Jillian says picking up a scarf from somewhere behind them.

 

“Wha….” Erin blanches. “I said….”

 

“I don't care what you said,” Jillian says, pulling Erin forward against her chest so she can tie Erin’s hands loosely behind her back. “I wasn't really giving you a choice either way.”

 

“But….”

 

“But nothing Erin. Now, would you like me to tell you how much trouble you’re in, or shall I _show_ you?”

 

 

-

 

 

_Fucking_ Jillian and her _fucking_ ability to multi-task, Erin thinks as Jillian's teeth close around her pulse while one hand pushes her by the lower back onto the waiting fingers of Jillian's other.

 

The hand at the small of Erin's back is firm, holding her still as she wiggles at the intrusion.

 

“Alright?” Jillian asks, mumbling against warm skin of Erin’s neck.

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Erin gasps as she settles around Jillian's fingers.

 

“Sure?” Jillian asks again pulling back, her brow creased in worry.

 

She moves to withdraw them but Erin bites down on Jillian's shoulder in front of her, her hands obviously out of commission for the time being.

 

“Don't you _dare_ ,” Erin seethes between teeth clenched around soft, pale flesh.

 

“That's how it is, huh?” Jillian says grinning wickedly as she withdraws her fingers and pushes again. “Good. I was hoping that would be the case.”

 

“Why?” Erin husks as Jillian's fingers start moving rhythmically.

 

“Because,” Jillian says with an air of casualness that makes Erin's blood stop in her veins. “I've always wanted to make you properly incoherent. I think I might just get there tonight.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Give me something to bite down on.”

 

“I told you before Er, your noise is your problem.”

 

“Give me something to bite down on or I'm going to tear through your shoulder.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Uh-uh, not yet.”

 

“Jill, **please**.”

 

“Oh, Erin, _baby_. I'm just getting started.”

 

 

-

 

 

It feels somehow deeper, coming down onto Jillian's fingers from her lap, rather than her pushing inside while they're lying flat.

 

And it probably has something to do with the fact that Erin has absolutely _no_ control over how deep Jillian goes, with her hands bound behind her as they are.

 

“You're going to regret this,” Erin bites out as Jillian stops, just short of a release, **again**.

 

“What are you going to do Erin? _Tell_ me. What power do you think you have over me?”

 

“What don't I have?” Erin says, gasping over the last word when Jillian pushes back in _devilishly_ quick. “You're mine. As much as I'm yours.”

 

“Don't you forget it,” Jillian says, biting Erin's earlobe between her teeth. “What then? You'll tie me up? I'd like to see you try.”

 

“I don't have to tie you up to hold you back _Jillian_ , and you know it.”

 

“Show me then,” Jillian says as she moves in to place another bruising kiss to Erin's lips. “If you can, once I'm done.”

 

 

-

 

 

She makes an absolute mess of Jillian's shoulder in the end.

 

That's how hard her orgasm takes her when Jillian _finally_ lets her come.

 

She collapses bonelessly against the blonde’s front as she presses softer kisses to the marks on Jillian's skin.

 

“I'm sorry,” Erin says a little sheepishly. “I didn't realise I was being so hard.”

 

“It's ok,” Jillian says smiling. “I pushed you there. Hey, I don't suppose you're interested in a deal?”

 

“What kind of deal?” Erin asks suspiciously as she breathes deep to try and catch her breath.

 

“One where I untie you and don't get mad that you’ve left a bite-mark that will probably be there for _years_ , and you go easy on me in return?”

 

“Oh _Jillian_ ,” Erin says, rolling her shoulders once the bindings fall free. “There's absolutely _no_ chance of that happening.”

 

She watches as Jillian pales considerably, visible even in the low light of the tent.

 

“Now,” Erin says as she pushes at Jillian's shoulders, forcing her onto her back. “Let’s see how quiet _you_ can be when you're full of me, too.”

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I wake in a cold sweat and think I should take this down because it's so damn 'one-way ticket straight to hell in a handbasket' but if you crazy kids are still enjoying, I shall continue to post away.
> 
> xx


	5. cinq.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tied up.  
> Soft.  
> Quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the power dynamic stuff in this is a bit heavier than the others, so read with that in mind team. Also the first one *is* about what the title suggests so, yeah.....skip that if it's not your bag.
> 
> Also, I've left the specific details behind Jillian's feelings in Soft out on purpose because I didn't want to fill that gap (slash I didn't want to actually think of something that would leave her like that, so I left it vague). Interpret that as you want or leave it blank like I have!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> xx

-

 

 

**Eighteen.**

Tied up.

 

 

-

 

 

The rope is foreign but a little warm around Erin’s ankle and every now and then she shifts, ever so slightly, to pull at the restraint.

 

She still can't believe she actually agreed to do this, because really it's ridiculous. Abby or Patty could see at any moment and what if they get called to a bust, she can't just get up and leave.

 

Except that she can believe it, because she'll agree to anything Jillian asks of her.

 

Even things like this.

 

And the way Jillian had licked her lips as her hands had closed around Erin’s ankle as she'd tied Erin to the leg of her desk had made Erin _throb_ with want.

 

She hasn't been bound for long, an hour or so maybe, and they only have about thirty minutes to go before they'll all start to pack up for the day, but Jillian hasn't stopped looking at her from across the lab upstairs and it's doing _nothing_ to cool the blush she can feel crawling over her chest beneath her shirt.

 

She hears footsteps coming up the stairs and she looks to Jillian, her pulse thickening in her veins as Jillian just smiles innocently back when Patty walks into the lab.

 

“We're gonna head off soon, do y’all feel like a drink before you head home?”

 

“It's a pass from me P, I'm a little _tied up_ here. Raincheck?”

 

Erin just glares at Jillian from across the lab, which in hindsight really isn't the best thing to do because Patty picks up on it almost immediately.

 

“Sure,” Patty says, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Erin?”

 

“Nah,” Jillian says before Erin can speak. “She's a little tied up too.”

 

“Ok….” Patty says even more suspicious now, her head moving between Jillian and Erin as though whatever is going on between them will _show_ itself to her.

 

“Yes,” Erin grits out as she glares at Jillian. “Sorry Patty, another night.”

 

“I don't know what's going on between the two of y’all but if I find any ass prints on my desk tomorrow I'm coming for you Holtzy,” Patty says with a frown.

 

Her eyes flick back to Erin, roaming over her and her surroundings looking for some sort of clue and Erin blanches, pulling unconsciously at the bonds around her ankle.

 

Not seeing anything outwardly untoward Patty gives them one last dirty look before she leaves, waving vaguely over her shoulder.

 

Erin waits until she can hear Patty talking with Abby downstairs before she looks back over to Jillian, who looks to have returned to work, paying absolutely no mind to Erin tied up on the other side of the room.

 

She waits, the heat beneath her sweater only building in frustration and disbelief before she clears her throat.

 

“Tied up Jillian? _Really_?”

 

Jillian looks up, the picture of innocence before she shrugs casually.

 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Jillian says flippantly before going back to her work.

 

Erin just stares back with an open mouth, before she scowls and moves to bend down and untie the rope herself.

 

Jillian's voice rings across the room as soon as Erin's hands close around the rope, clear and assertive enough to send a shiver scuttling over the skin at the back of Erin's neck.

 

“Oh, I wouldn't do that Erin. Not unless you want to make things _much_ worse for yourself.”

 

“What do you mean?” Erin says a little shakily.

 

“ _I_ tied you up. _I_ untie you. That's the way it works. You break that and I'm afraid there are going to be consequences.”

 

Erin feels that cold prickle of fear settle against the flush at her cheeks and she swallows roughly.

 

They hadn't said anything about consequences when they started, but Erin has the distinct impression that Jillian has this little event planned to the last detail regardless.

 

“What kind of consequences?” Erin asks carefully.

 

“Oh, that would be telling Gilbert. You'll just have to risk them and find out for yourself.”

 

She's smirking dangerously across the room and Erin can tell she's enjoying this _far_ too much.

 

So be it, Erin thinks. Two can play at this game _Jillian_.

 

“Oh, no,” Erin says casually. “You know me Jill. I don't break rules.”

 

The blonde stands, and Erin straightens her back automatically in response. She takes a few steps towards Erin before spinning suddenly, walking towards the stairs.

 

Erin watches aghast as she just leaves, without so much as ‘I'll be back in a few’. She does throw one parting sentiment before she leaves Erin to her own pounding heartbeat though, and it makes Erin _quake_.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

 

-

 

 

She's not actually gone for that long, but it's enough.

 

Enough for Erin to have tried to loosen the rope at her ankle _twice_ , but only having succeeded in making it tighter.

 

Which Jillian notices the minute she walks back up the stairs.

 

“What did I tell you about untying yourself, buttercup?” Jillian says smiling as she walks over, her smirk only widening at Erin's obvious discomfort.

 

“Come on Er, cat got your tongue? What did I say?”

 

Erin blushes deep, totally unused to being spoken to like this.

 

“You tie me up, you untie me.”

 

“And did you or did you not just attempt to untie yourself, in direct disobedience of that?”

 

“I didn't actually get free though,” Erin says in an attempt at bargaining.

 

“No, but the intent was there. And Erin, my love. Intent is _everything_.”

 

Erin shivers as Jillian walks around her, settling a steady hand on Erin's shoulder.

 

“How did it feel, to be tied to your desk all afternoon?” Jillian whispers into Erin’s ear, her fingers bringing goosebumps up beneath them as she runs her hand along the back of Erin's neck.

 

“Risky,” Erin says quickly. “But good. I liked it, I liked knowing I was here because of you.”

 

“What do you say we extend this little game, huh? I came up with the most _delicious_ punishment downstairs.”

 

“But you didn't know I'd done anything wrong then?” Erin says, trying to turn and look Jillian in the eye.

 

“I know you don't think you break the rules Erin Gilbert, but I'll let you in on a little secret I've learnt about you.”

 

Holtz leans in lower, her voice barely above a growl as she whispers in Erin’s ear.

 

“When it comes to me, you break _all_ the rules.”

 

Holtz pushes back slightly, watching the flush move prettily up Erin’s neck as the blonde licks her lips.

 

“Now, shall we play? Or not?”

 

“I don't know,” Erin says uncertainly. “What if I say no?”

 

“Your choice babe, always. But I promise it'll be fun.”

 

“A punishment, fun?” Erin says laughing ruefully.

 

“Don't underestimate me Erin,” Jillian says again, sliding the coat of power over her shoulders effortlessly. “You're in a hell of a lot of trouble, but you get to choose how this plays out.”

 

“Fine,” Erin says, lifting her chin and setting her back against the steel rod she lives by. “If you think I need to be punished, _punish_ me.”

 

“Oh Erin,” Jillian says smiling as she reaches into one of her deep pockets for a length of rope. “You have **no** idea what you've done.”

 

 

-

 

 

Her wrists are bound to the arms of her desk chair, her hands clenched white knuckled around the ends.

 

Jillian is on her knees in front of Erin, her hands pushing Erin's skirt up high enough for her to have unimpeded access.

 

She's ridiculously wet, can feel it herself and isn't really looking forward to Jillian noticing because then she'll realise how much Erin's _enjoying_ this.

 

Of course she does though, as soon as she winds her fingers into the waistband of Erin's underwear, dragging it down her legs as Erin lifts her ass to help.

 

“Oh, Erin,” Jillian moans when she sees. “Have you been holding out on me? Do you _like_ this?”

 

“Shut-up,” Erin grits out between clenched teeth as Jillian blows a soft breath over heated flesh.

 

“Not a chance,” Jillian says smugly. “You really like this? I might go easy on you if you tell me.”

 

“Fine. I like this. Happy?”

 

“ _Very_.”

 

Jillian's smiling like the world is on its knees for her, rather than the other way round, when she starts kissing up the inside of Erin's thighs.

 

“You have no idea how magnificent you look tied up for me,” Jillian breathes as she moves closer, and _closer_.

 

“Jesus Jill,” Erin moans when Jillian nips at the skin over her hip.

 

“And the best part,” Jillian says heavily. “Is that you're totally at my mercy. I could, for example, just get up and walk away. If I needed to prove a point, or as a consequence….”

 

“Don't you fucking _dare_ ,” Erin says quickly, trying to move, to follow as Jillian bends and lifts herself off the ground.

 

She doesn't get an inch, the bonds at her wrists holding true.

 

“Jillian Holtzmann,” Erin seethes. “If you leave me here like this I'm going to **kill** you.”

 

“Oh, I'm not leaving,” Holtz says casually. “I'm just going downstairs for a bit. I fancy a little bite to eat while you think over your predicament here. It's only your own doing remember Er.”

 

“If you're not back in….”

 

“In what babe? A minute? An hour? Don't give me ideas.”

 

“I'm going to….”

 

“Oh, I hope you do,” Jillian says interrupting her. “But for now, you're mine. So stay.”

 

With that she's gone, and Erin's left with nothing but the thumping of her pulse between her legs and a rage fit to shake the windows loose.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin is almost beside herself when Jillian comes back, half an hour later.

 

“Don't you look lovely,” Jillian says with a smile.

 

“I doubt it,” Erin grits out.

 

Her hair is a mess and she can feel how red her cheeks are, and all she can think about is closing her hands around Jillian's throat and pressing her against a wall until her knees buckle.

 

“Au contraire,” Jillian says walking over to her.

 

She leans down, swiping one hand unceremoniously through the wetness collected between Erin’s legs.

 

“Dear me,” Jillian teases. “A little hungry, are we?”

 

“What did you expect?”

 

“This,” Jillian says, crouching down to kneel between Erin's legs. “Now, since you've been _such_ a good girl, what would you like me to do?”

 

“Untie me,” Erin says evenly.

 

“Oh that's not going to happen. Not unless you _really_ want me to?”

 

The pause is true, because she'll never actually put Erin through any discomfort that she doesn't want, and while she's probably ninety eight percent sure Erin wants this, she'll never not check.

 

“No,” Erin says very quietly.

 

“No, what?” Jillian says, grinning ear to ear.

 

“Don't untie me.”

 

“A little louder?”

 

“Don't fucking untie me,” Erin says with a low dangerous voice. “But if you don't touch me soon, so help me God, Jillian, I'm going to _kill_ you as soon as my hands are free.”

 

“Oh,” Jillian says with a smile like nightshade as she slides closer to Erin, hooking Erin's now free ankle over her shoulder.

 

“All you had to do was ask.”

 

 

-

 

 

She doesn't last long, because Jillian's mouth is like magic and she's worked up fit to burst by the time Jillian finally tastes her.

 

Her tongue is firm and she alternates between laying it flat along Erin’s length and moving in small tight circles, and Erin just wants to scream because it's _not enough_.

 

She moves to pull away, again, and Erin reacts in the only way she has available to her. She squeezes her thighs around Jillian's head, trying to hold her in place.

 

It's no use though, Jillian pries her thighs apart easily before she leans back on her heels to appraise Erin.

 

“I knew I should have kept your legs tied up too. Patience is a virtue you know, Erin.”

 

She wants to snap, it would be so much easier, but she knows Jillian well by now. Enough to know she'll never deny Erin if she begs like she _means_ it.

 

“Jill, _please_ ,” Erin moans, biting her tongue and smothering her pride, pretending to at least.

 

“Please what, Erin?”

 

“Stop teasing. I feel like I'm _dying_.”

 

“You're so pretty when you beg,” Jillian says with a smirk as she leans back in, winding her arms around Erin's thighs.

 

She doesn't bother to say another word, just dives in and takes Erin's _breath_ away.

 

 

-

 

 

She comes around Jillian's fingers and beneath her tongue a few minutes later, gasping hard.

 

She's a little glad for her bindings as she comes down, not sure she'd be able to stay upright in the chair without them.

 

“Holy shit,” Erin says with a strained breath.

 

“That was quick,” Jillian says teasing as she licks her fingers.

 

“Shut up,” Erin snaps, moving as though expecting Jillian to remove the ropes around her wrists.

 

There's this second where Erin and Jillian's eyes both fall to the arms of Erin's chair before they look up to each other at exactly the same time.

 

Jillian doesn't even need to say anything because her intent is written clear across her face.

 

“But….” Erin says, her face paling slightly.

 

“Did I say we were done?” Jillian asks with the deepest smirk Erin's ever seen on her face.

 

“Jill….”

 

“Once would have been enough, if you hadn't tried to get loose. But since you did….”

 

“But I've been here for an hour now….”

 

“Do you think you can't take it?” Jillian asks sincerely, the challenge there nonetheless.

 

And Erin takes umbrage to that.

 

To the insinuation that she can't _handle_ whatever Jillian has in store.

 

So she visibly bristles and Jillian leans in, her eyes alight with excitement before she whispers in Erin's ear.

 

“Impress me then,” she says, her tongue dancing beautifully around the syllables.

 

“Show me what you _can_.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Nineteen.**

Soft.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin doesn't know what to do.

 

She doesn't know what to do because she's never seen Jillian like this before.

 

Devastated, lifeless, _blank_.

 

It's been twenty four hours since word came and Jillian has barely said two words to anyone since. Even Erin.

 

They'd come home afterwards. Abby hadn't wanted Jillian around anything potentially explosive just in case, even though Erin had argued that it would have been better for her to have a distraction.

 

And that she would never _ever_ put the rest of them in danger but Patty had stepped in too, so she'd taken Jillian by the hand and taken her home.

 

Which is where they are now.

 

Sitting on the couch together, not watching whatever crappy show is on television.

 

Jillian's right down the other end and she feels like a _stranger_ , and Erin doesn't know what to do.

 

She's tried soft words and apologies and prayers but nothing worked.

 

She wracks her brain for something, _anything_ else to try when she catches the two characters kiss on TV.

 

Oh.

 

Well, it's something.

 

It's common right, Erin thought to herself. People needing intimacy after a loss.

 

It's worth a shot, Erin thinks looking at Jillian again. She'll try anything if it'll help.

 

Because Jillian looks like she's forgotten what the sun tastes like on her skin and what the stars look like when they shine off Erin's eyes, and it's killing Erin to watch.

 

So she takes a deep breath and crawls the length of the couch, pulling herself into Jillian's lap.

 

“What are you doing Er?” Her voice sounds defeated and broken and confused too but not annoyed, so Erin keeps going.

 

“Taking care of you,” Erin whispers in the narrowing space between them. “Let me take care of you.”

 

She brings her hands up, winding them in the base of Jillian's hair, pulling a little roughly against the grip of the pins.

 

Jillian winces but she leans back into the contact, and as her eyes flutter closed Erin watches the lines at the edges of her eyes relax.

 

Oh, Erin thinks, understanding.

 

She wants to _feel_.

 

Jillian's hands settle against the bones of Erin's hips and sink into the skin there, and Erin hisses slightly against the bite of Jillian's nails.

 

“I'm sorry,” Jillian says in response, moving to withdraw her hands but Erin unwinds one hand and catches Jillian's before it shifts from her body.

 

“No,” she says firmly. “Stay.”

 

She watches Jillian relax more, folds her shoulders and sinks back into the couch taking Erin with her and Erin follows, her lips chasing the skin at Jillian's neck.

 

She feels Jillian shudder as her teeth scrape and when she bites down **hard** , Jillian _moans_.

 

“What do you need?” Erin asks as she kisses the mark she's just made.

 

“I don't know,” Jillian says, and it's almost a sob. “You. I just need you, Erin.”

 

“I'm yours,” Erin says, and they both shiver as they feel the weight of her words settle against their chests.

 

“Make me forget,” Jillian says finally. “Just for a little while?”

 

She sounds so small and _young_ and it breaks Erin's heart so she leans in, and puts her whole body into a kiss that sets her skin on fire.

 

It's heavy and dirty and Erin moans loud against Jillian's lips when they pull away gasping.

 

“Bed,” Erin husks. “I want to take you to bed.”

 

Jillian's strong, Erin forgets this most of the time because she's so delicate but she scoops Erin up like she's nothing and carries her to their room.

 

She sets Erin on her feet at the end of their bed because this is Erin's game to lead, not hers.

 

Erin picks up the mantle seamlessly, walking Jillian back the last few steps until she falls and Erin falls with her.

 

 

-

 

 

She feels like she's bringing Jillian back to life as she moves to and down her body, leaving marks as hard as she dares.

 

The skin reddens and rises beneath her mouth and hands and teeth and nails, and Jillian rises with it.

 

She moves up into Erin's touch and Erin could almost cry in relief because it's _working_.

 

 

-

 

 

Jillian's shaking by the time Erin finally slides, like ice moving on heated flash, into her.

 

And Erin could have given in earlier but she wants to clear Jillian's mind, drive everything out but her and them and the feel of her fingers curling on the inward stroke.

 

She arches restlessly against the bed after a few minutes and Erin frowns because she's using two fingers and normally Jillian doesn't like more but her body's clearly looking for it.

 

The blonde’s eyes flutter open and meet Erin's and her lips fall open in a silent moan that skitters across the hairs on Erin's arms and feeds _more_ into her head.

 

So Erin slides in a third on the next push and Jillian moans quiet and low and her whole body pulls like a bow string.

 

She's pulling beautifully around Erin's fingers and Erin drops her head, pulls a nipple roughly between her teeth and Jillian _snaps_.

 

No warning, no shaking, she just comes. Hard and with a force that shifts the discs in her back enough that the air pops between the muscles.

 

Erin looks up, watches as Jillian's mouth falls open and she keeps pushing. Wants to see if she can draw another from Jillian like an arrow out of a wound, and she does.

 

She leans down and crashes their lips together when she feels Jillian tighten again, and she swallows their moans with a kiss that sends a hot jolt between her own legs.

 

She waits until the waves stop and Jillian's breath eases before she withdraws her hand and looks down at Jillian with careful eyes.

 

“Better?”

 

“I don't think I know how to spell me own name right now so, yeah,” Jillian laughs quietly. “Thank you.”

 

“Anything,” Erin says, tracing her finger along the line of Jillian's collarbone.

 

Their eyes meet again but this time Jillian's darken and Erin feels herself getting warmer and wetter under her gaze.

 

“Well,” Jillian says suddenly, rolling them easily. “What am I going to do to keep my mind busy now, hmmm?”

 

Her hands slide beneath the loose tee Erin's wearing with little ceremony or gentleness.

 

“Can you think of anything, Erin?” Jillian asks, and there's a sliver of diamond in her voice now, hard and eternal.

 

“Yes,” Erin gasps as her back bends.

 

“Then tell me.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Twenty.**

Quick.

 

 

-

 

 

“Stop looking at me like that.”

 

“Like what, Er?” Jillian asks, the picture of innocence.

 

“Like you're mentally deciding which piece of clothing you're going to take off first,” Erin says flatly.

 

“Erin Gilbert. I don't know _what_ you're talking about,” Holtz says in mock horror.

 

Erin glares at her from across the lab but doesn't say anything else, just returns to her work and tries to ignore the way Jillian starts watching her the moment she drops her eyes.

 

The next few minutes pass in relative silence and Erin relaxes as her work starts to consume her again.

 

“I'd leave everything on,” Jillian says long minutes later and Erin looks up at her, confused.

 

“What?”

 

“You asked which piece of clothing I'd take off first. And I said I'd leave it all on. Well I'd slide off your underwear but I'd keep everything else on.”

 

“ _Jill_ ,” Erin says warningly as the blonde pushes up and out of her seat to walk towards her.

 

She doesn't actually say anything, she just comes to a stop in front of Erin's desk, tugs her up and out of her seat so she can push her back to sit in the edge of her desk.

 

Jillian moves into the space between Erin's legs and leans in to place a hot kiss to Erin's lips that makes her **throb**.

 

“I thought I could wait until we got home but I can't,” Holtz says casually when she pulls away. “Can you?”

 

“Not _now_ , Jesus.”

 

She pulls Holtz by the shoulders roughly to press a bruising kiss to her lips.

 

“We can't though,” Erin pants as they pull away. “We can't. The others are downstairs, I can hear them.”

 

“I guess you'll have to be quick then,” Jillian says as she slides her hands up and under Erin’s skirt, her fingers looping through the waistband of her underwear.

 

“And _quiet_. Do you think you can do that, Erin?”

 

 

-

 

 

She doesn't waste any time moving easily between Erin's legs, pushing her skirt up around the top of her thighs.

 

“Don't tease,” Erin says when Holtz starts nipping up the inside of her thighs.

 

“I don't think you're the one in control here Er,” Jillian says, smirking against the whisper soft skin.

 

“I do take requests though. If you ask _very_ nicely.”

 

Erin knows what she wants then and she grits her teeth, responding to the bait immediately.

 

“No,” she growls, and Holtz lifts her head up smiling widely when she sees the determination carved into the lines of Erin's shoulders.

 

“Good,” she says dangerously. “My way it is then.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh my _god_.”

 

“Shhhhh Er.”

 

“I'm trying Jillian but you keep - _gasp_ \- doing that.”

 

“It's called multitasking, Erin. Now, stop wriggling. I can't find….”

 

“ ** _Fuck_**.”

 

“There it is. Don't stop moving _baby_ , that's half the fun.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Faster Jill, faster. I can hear someone coming but I'm _so_ close.”

 

“I know. Push back, and I'll go _deep_.”

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very quickly, thank you all so much for the incredible comments and for everyone who has taken the time to leave kudos. They mean *so* much, and they make all the work that does in behind the scenes of doing this stuff worth it.
> 
> Basically, you're all amazing <3
> 
> Now, favourites? Stand outs?
> 
> x


	6. six.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lingerie.  
> Blind.  
> Under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill team, here be explicit material. Read on responsibly, ok?
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> xx

-

 

 

**Twenty one.**

Lingerie.

 

 

-

 

 

She's been second guessing herself constantly since she left the lingerie store a few hours ago but it all comes to a head as she stands in their bathroom looking at herself in the mirror.

 

She supposes that objectively she looks good but to her own eyes she just looks stupid.

 

Luckily though, this wasn't about her.

 

It was about Erin.

 

Specifically, Erin's birthday.

 

Really specifically, Erin's forty fifth birthday.

 

Because only a something of true significance would have seen Holtz down the path she finds herself on now.

 

Which is one involving her, a set of very skimpy, very lacy red lingerie and her hair down around her shoulders.

 

And really, while this is for Erin, she hopes Erin recognises the significance of the gesture because Jillian Holtzmann has never worn lingerie, lacy or not, for anyone else in her life.

 

She feels ridiculous but her boobs look incredible so she supposes that has to count for something.

 

She sighs, pulling on a light robe and flicking off the bathroom light as she moves back into the lounge to wait for Erin to get home.

 

She's expecting a dinner date of sorts. Holtz has just neglected to mention that _she's_ what's on the menu for the evening.

 

Well, she has a selection of a few other edibles but she's the main course.

 

She's more than a little nervous, because while she thinks Erin will appreciate her little surprise, she's never actually seen Holtz like this so it's still a bit of a gamble.

 

But Erin had made a passing comment about getting _old_ and Jillian wanted to show her that her age didn't matter a damn and this is what Erin in all her forty five year-old glory could still _pull_.

 

She flops down on the couch, twirling her hair round her finger as she waits for the click of the lock.

 

 

-

 

 

“Jill I'm so sorry, I got held up and….oh my _god_.”

 

Erin pushes through the door, a whirlwind of bags and coats and apologies but she drops everything, rather unceremoniously, when she sees the sight waiting for her.

 

“Happy birthday,” Jillian says, rising off the couch and walking towards Erin.

 

Well, it's certainly had _some_ sort of impact on her if the slack jaw and glassy look in her eyes is anything to go by.

 

“What are you….?” Erin says struggling for words. “Is this for me?”

 

“No, it's for the neighbours. Of course it's for you, idiot.”

 

“But I thought we were going out for dinner?” Erin says, but she's barely paying any attention if her wandering gaze is anything to go by.

 

“Oh, well if you'd prefer I can just go get changed….”

 

Jillian spins, moves to walk away but Erin's hand closes around her wrist quicker than Jillian's eyes can follow.

 

“No,” Erin says quickly. And heavily. And the want in her voice makes Jillian feel _weak_.

 

She gulps as Erin's hands close around the knot of the little belt and pull.

 

“Jill….”

 

Erin's voice sounds like a whisper. It's reverent and deep and hungry and Jillian feels herself moving into Erin's hands without conscious effort.

 

“You like?” She asks, a little uncertainly.

 

“I love,” Erin says as she slides the robe off Jillian's shoulders easily. “I want you now. Dinner can wait.”

 

“It's your birthday,” Jillian says smiling as she shrugs easily.

 

“Good,” Erin says assertively, and Jillian feels her face grow hot because she loves it when Erin gets possessive like this.

 

Because possessive Erin takes what she wants. And possessive Erin is _far_ from gentle.

 

“Because I want to unwrap my gift. _Now_.”

 

 

-

 

 

You would think, Jillian laments as Erin continues to tease her, that the birthday girl should be the one enjoying herself.

 

But no.

 

Not Erin.

 

Erin's birthday means she gets to do whatever _she_ wants.

 

And what _she_ wants is to reduce Jillian to an almost sobbing mess beneath her.

 

She still hasn't taken any of the lingerie off Jillian, but she has managed to kiss or mark almost every inch of bare skin.

 

“You're enjoying this aren't you? Jillian grits out as she arches up into Erin's hands.

 

“Of course I am,” Erin says matter of factly as she takes Jillian's nipple between her teeth through the fabric of her bra. “I _love_ you on your back for me.”

 

“Jesus Erin,” Jillian gasps in response. “Where'd you learn to be such a fucking tease?”

 

“From you,” Erin replies around a wicked grin. “ _Wonderfully_ ironic, isn't it?”

 

“I'll have you on your back eventually,” Jillian moans around a sharp intake of breath. “Don't forget.”

 

“I know,” Erin says smiling widely. “So I’d best do as much damage as I can now, hmmm?”

 

She pulls away, sitting back on her heels over Jillian's hips.

 

“Tell me, love,” Erin asks seriously. “How wet do you think I can make you before I give you what you want?”

 

 

-

 

 

Very is the answer.

 

So much so that Jillian thinks she might actually go mad before Erin gives in.

 

“I'm going to kill you Gilbert,” she pants as Erin takes her hand away again. “I'm going to die and then I'm going to come back and kill you.”

 

“Tell me what you want then,” Erin says, leaning low. “Say it prettily enough and I might just give in.”

 

Right, Jillian thinks trying to clear the fog in her head. She has a few options here now.

 

She could give in with an easy response, play coy and sweet and hope that Erin takes pity.

 

She could flat out refuse, which will most likely result in her insanity.

 

Or she could go for hard honesty, and test how _far_ Erin is really willing to go with her little game.

 

She loosens her clenched fists from between the sheets and slips them under the waist and of Erin’s underwear, just touching the top of her ass.

 

Once she's got a reasonable grip she tugs, pulling Erin's hips crashing down on her own.

 

It elicits a little squeak out of Erin that lets Jillian know she's almost got her on the back foot and the realisation fills her veins with fire.

 

She leans up, close enough to whisper harshly into Erin's ear.

 

“I want you to fuck me hard enough that all this teasing has been worth it, Erin. So I can't _walk_ tomorrow.”

 

“Do you want to use….?”

 

“Nope. Just your pretty fingers my love.”

 

Erin stops.

 

Her mouth falls open and her pupils blow **wide** and she takes a breath that shakes her whole body.

 

It's only a second though.

 

Jillian only has her for a fucking second because before she can so much as blink and celebrate her victory, Erin smiles and Jillian knows it's all over.

 

“Oh _Jill_. You don't know what you've **_done_**.”

 

 

-

 

 

She regrets it the second she says it because she forgot.

 

She forgot exactly how _hard_ Erin can go when she wants to.

 

She learns again though.

 

And not the easy way.

 

Erin licks her lips one final time as she places a hard kiss to Jillian's lips before she tugs her underwear roughly down her legs.

 

“I had wanted to leave these on but I think they'll just be a hindrance, don't you?”

 

It's a rhetorical question. It must be because Erin doesn't wait for a response.

 

Instead she just pulls them off before flipping Jillian over onto her stomach.

 

It's all Jillian can do to keep breathing really, she's not actually capable of much else bar basic motor functions because her brain is just firing in a furor of want and heat and oh _god…_. **Erin's fingers**.

 

She leans down flush against the sticky skin of Jillian's back and bites just above the clasp of her bra as two fingers push into Jillian from behind.

 

“I was going to take this off,” Erin says hotly, pulling it back with her teeth and letting it snap against the skin. “But I think it's better on.”

 

Jillian just gasps, isn't actually capable of anything else as she takes in Erin’s fingers, moaning as her body becomes accustomed to the stretch.

 

“Still with me, Jillian?” Erin preens over her shoulder as she pushes in again.

 

“Yes, _god_ Erin.”

 

“Ok?”

 

“What do you think…. **fuck**.”

 

“I think,” Erin purrs as she withdraws her fingers completely. “That you can take one more. What do you think?”

 

She wants to say no.

 

She wants to push back and resist because Erin truly has her on her belly, in every sense of the word.

 

But she doesn't.

 

Because she wants it, just as much as she thinks Erin wants to give it.

 

And normally it would be too much but tonight her body is just bowing before Erin's and for once, she wants to submit.

 

“Yes,” Jillian bites out as she mourns the temporary loss of that _stretch_.

 

“Yes, what?”

 

“More Erin. I want _more_.”

 

 

-

 

 

**Twenty two.**

Blind.

 

 

-

 

 

It's been a long, hard week and Jillian can feel the mood _radiating_ off Erin as soon as they get home.

 

She shrugs her coat off at the door, before heading straight for the fridge.

 

“God I _hate_ it when I feel like I have to have a drink to make the day bearable,” Erin grouses as she pulls out a bottle of wine.

 

“Babe, you never drink. It's not like it's a vice. And besides, everyone's got their crutch when they've had a shitty day.”

 

“Yeah,” Erin asks ruefully. “What's yours?”

 

Jillian smiles and yeah, she hasn't had a great week either but she can roll it from her shoulders a little easier than Erin can.

 

“Lately? You.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yeah, you. You just make everything quiet. In a good way, you know? You know what, why don't you have a bath and when you're done I'll show you.”

 

“Show me?” Erin says skeptically.

 

“Yeah. Don't screw your face up, it'll be nice. I promise.”

 

Erin scrunches her mouth into a frown at being read so easily.

 

“Go,” Jillian says, pushing Erin and her wine towards the bathroom.

 

Erin rolls her eyes but complies, pressing a quick kiss to Jillian's cheek on the way past.

 

 

-

 

 

Erin takes her time in the bath which gives Jillian time enough to clear a path from the bathroom to the bedroom, light a few candles - not that it'll matter for what she's got planned - and find something to act as a blindfold.

 

When she hears the bath draining she knocks softly on the door before peering around the side.

 

“Better?” She asks a flushed Erin.

 

“A little,” Erin says with a shrug as she knots the tie of her dressing gown. “Couldn't really turn my brain off.”

 

“Lucky I have an idea, huh?”

 

“ _Jill_ , I'm really not in the mood for….”

 

“Er, just….do you trust me?”

 

“Always,” Erin says with a grumpy look, offended Jillian even has to ask.

 

“So close your eyes then, and trust me.”

 

Erin does so - begrudgingly - and Jillian moves closer, stepping behind Erin to wrap the black scarf around Erin's eyes.

 

She feels Erin bristle slightly beneath her hands and she slides a reassuring hand down Erin's spine to settle in the small of her back.

 

“Easy baby.”

 

“I don't know about this Jill, I just don't feel….”

 

“This will make it better. I promise. And if it doesn't, tell me and I'll stop. Immediately.”

 

“You promise?”

 

“I promise,” Jillian says quietly as she leads Erin to their room.

 

She brings them to a stop inside the door at the foot of their bed and threads her fingers through Erin's, leaning in to kiss her.

 

It's soft, and she can feel the steel at Erin’s back still but she doesn't mind, because it'll make the victory sweeter when Erin does finally _bend_.

 

She takes one hand, winding it in the hair at the nape of Erin's neck, dragging her nails lightly against Erin's scalp.

 

It works, Erin bends back, chasing Jillian's hand when she draws her nails down to the skin of Erin's neck.

 

She leans in to press another kiss against Erin's lips and smiles when Erin reacts this time, sliding her tongue into Jillian's mouth.

 

She's breathing a little more irregularly when Jillian pulls back the second time, her hands moving to tug Jillian closer with the loops of her pants.

 

“Better?” Jillian breathes against Erin's neck.

 

“No,” Erin says, but she's smiling now. “What else have you got?”

 

“Oh baby,” Jillian moans as she sinks her teeth into Erin's neck. “You have _no_ idea.”

 

 

-

 

 

There's a bite in her body when Jillian slides Erin's robe off her shoulders but it doesn't hold for long.

 

Because Jillian settles between Erin's legs as soon as her back hits the mattress, and she doesn't give Erin the chance to draw in a breath before her mouth settles against Erin's core and she _pushes_ with her tongue.

 

“Oh my _god_ Jill.”

 

“How about now?” Jillian asks, pulling away with a moan, her hands moving in to take the place of her mouth. “Feel more relaxed?”

 

The question’s hypothetical really, because the second the question falls from Jillian's mouth she pushes into Erin with two quick fingers, and speech becomes a lost luxury.

 

 

-

 

 

“What are you going to do the next time you have a bad day Erin?”

 

“Talk - _gasp-_ to you.”

 

“Good. Because if you don't I'll have to drop to my knees in front of you, regardless of where we are. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes. God Jill, _yes_. I'm sorry.”

 

“That's much better. Now, how much do you think I need to take before you're good and relaxed, hmmm?”

 

 

-

 

 

Three orgasms.

 

That's what it takes to reduce Erin to a breathless mess.

 

One beneath Jillian's mouth and one around her fingers and the last with both.

 

Jillian draws the tension from Erin's body like poison from a wound and she melts more beautifully with every shudder Jillian pulls from her.

 

And it's all so _heightened_ because Erin's still wearing the blindfold and her body jumps to meet Jillian's hands wherever they settle, and it looks more exquisite than anything Jillian's ever seen before.

 

 

-

 

 

“Are you still with me Erin? Can you take one more?”

 

“I don't….”

 

“You don't have to do anything. Just listen to your pulse that's all. I'll do the rest.”

 

“Oh my **_go_** ….”

 

 

-

 

 

**Twenty three**

Under.

 

 

-

 

 

“Erin.”

 

“Yes, Jillian.”

 

“What do you think you're doing?”

 

“I'm getting under the table Jillian, what does it look like?”

 

“Yes, no I understand that much because I have eyes. Perhaps the better question is why?”

 

“You’ll see.”

 

“Wait, what? Erin you're not….?”

 

“Shhhhh, the others will be back in a minute.”

 

Holtz can do nothing but try not to gape like an idiot because Erin, in her deep blue ball gown has just slipped beneath the table at this _very_ formal dinner and Patty and Abby are just about to take their seats at the table again.

 

And they're in the corner of the room so Erin can slip beneath the table relatively discreetly but _still_.

 

“Where's Erin?” Abby asks when she sits down, smoothing down the front of her dress.

 

She smiles as she looks at Jillian who forgets about Erin beneath the table for about three seconds as she throws her napkin back at Abby.

 

“Stop staring,” Holtz grumps.

 

“I'm sorry you just look so different,” Abby says smiling widely as she looks over Holtz in her black dress. “Shame about that bet, huh?”

 

“Yeah, damn shame,” Holtz says grousing. “I thought it was such a sure thing.”

 

“We know,” Patty says laughing too. “Girl, nothing else would have made you put a wager like a dress on the line otherwise.”

 

“Erin's too clever for her own freaking good sometimes,” Holtz growls, and Erin takes that exact moment as opportunity to _begin_ and she sinks her teeth hard into the soft skin of Jillian's inner thigh.

 

She jumps, because who wouldn't and it's enough that it gives Abby and Patty a fright too.

 

Her heart's hammering like a bass drum and she lays her palms flat on the table as she tries to calm her breathing because Erin's moving her hands now, pushing Jillian's dress up her thighs so she has better access.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you girl?” Patty asks holding her hand to her chest.

 

“Sorry,” she says roughly thumping her fist on the table as a warning to Erin below. “Muscle spasm.”

 

They both eye her sideways but shrug it off after a few seconds because she _is_ Jillian Holtzmann and sometimes she does odd things.

 

“Where did you say Erin was?” Abby asks looking around the ballroom for her.

 

“Bathroom,” Holtz says evenly and it's _hard_ because Erin's started kissing the inside of her thigh over her bite mark while her hands push her thighs apart gently.

 

“Huh,” Abby says frowning. “I hope she's back soon or she's going to miss our speech.”

 

“I'm sure she won't be far away,” Patty says as she looks over her own prompt cards. “You're damn lucky you two got out of this you know?”

 

Lucky isn't the word Jillian would use right this second, because Erin's learnt a _lot_ since they started this thing together, and she knows how to pull Jillian tight like a bow string in about five breaths now and it's getting harder to keep her face neutral.

 

“Yeah,” Abby says as she looks over her own cards. “I'm not sure how you pulled that one.”

 

“Guess a few nice words to Jennifer at the Mayor’s worked wond-hahhhhhh,” she loses the end of her word to a gasp because Erin bites her again.

 

It's harder and higher, where the flesh is more sensitive and she has to bite her lip to stop from making more noise.

 

And yeah, she might have deserved that one but still, there's a time and a place for reprimands and it's hardly beneath the table of a seven-course charity dinner.

 

“Are you sure you're ok?” Abby asks, eyeing her suspiciously.

 

“Just a cramp,” Holtz says, winding her hand beneath the table so she can wrap her fingers around Erin's wrist hard in warning.

 

“Maybe you should get up and do a lap,” Patty suggests as she reapplied her lipstick.

 

“Maybe I will,” Jillian says but Erin's hands wrap around her ankles and she knows then that she's not going _anywhere_.

 

“Or maybe I just need to stretch,” Holtz says, readjusting herself in her seat and Erin takes the opportunity to slip her hands up and under Jillian's dress to pull her underwear down her legs.

 

She's actually half-impressed because that was _quick_ but it also means she's now utterly doomed because Erin moves and she has absolutely no warning before Erin's mouth closes over her.

 

“Oh god.”

 

The words fall from her lips before she can actually help it and she feels Erin fucking _smile_ against her so she drops a hand again to wind itself none too gently in Erin’s hair.

 

She closes her hands around Jillian's thighs, her nails digging little half moons into the bare skin in response, and Jillian doesn't know how she's going to get out of this alive.

 

Because her mouth is warm and her tongue is firm and one of Erin's hands comes away from her thigh to move around her tongue, doubling the sensation.

 

“Here,” Patty says, moving to get up to help her.

 

“No,” Holtz snaps quickly, holding out a hand to stop her. “Sorry, Pad’s it's just _really_ something. I don't think I can have anyone touch me just now.”

 

“Ok,” she says, watching Holtz as carefully as Abby is now too.

 

She leans her forehead down to rest on the table and she whispers, not sure if Erin will even hear her but it's worth a shot.

 

“I'm going to _murder_ you Erin Gilbert,” she says under her breath. “You hear me?”

 

Erin's hands squeeze again signalling that yes, she can hear her as her tongue pushes inside and Holtz just groans in response.

 

A runner comes over to give Abby and Patty a five minute warning and Jillian looks up to two concerned sets of eyes as Erin's fingers slide inside, curling as they reach their furthest extension.

 

“Not long to go now,” Abby says a little nervously and Jillian almost laughs at the double application of her expression, because she's repressing the urge to squeeze her thighs together now and she knows Erin can tell too.

 

Holtz pushes forward onto the edge of her seat so Erin can press more solidly against the front of her and push her fingers deeper and she sort of hums, and then it's all over.

 

It takes every single ounce of self-control she has not to make a sound, and she knows her face isn't neutral anymore but she's really hoping it'll pass off as a grimace of pain because Erin's _not stopping_.

 

She comes once and almost bites through her lip and then comes again, quicker but hard enough that she thinks she feels her heart stop.

 

Her shoulders stop shaking as Abby and Patty stand up and Patty claps her on the back and she just slumps on to the table, spent.

 

Erin waits a few minutes, until she knows the other two are a way away before she slips out from beneath the table, delicately wiping the corner of her mouth.

 

The two women on stage look over to their table, see Jillian still bent over, her head in her hands and register Erin sitting there now too.

 

Holtz watches as they simultaneously put together the fact that they walked down the only thoroughfare for the room and Erin didn't pass them, so she could _only_ have been….

 

Abby just screws her face up in disgust, but Patty looks like she wants to walk over and thump them both and she shakes her head through the entire first two minutes of Abby's part of the speech.

 

Erin sits next to her, as nonchalant as anything as she slips Jillian's underwear in her clutch and takes a sip of wine.

 

“So,” she says smiling brightly, completely ignoring Jillian's scowl. “What did I miss?”

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting to mention I have my tumblr email address set up if anyone wants to come shoot through any of the stuff I write! 
> 
> It's tiger-lo@outlook.com and you can also find me over on tumblr if you're so inclined. 
> 
> Anyway, I think this chapter is one of my favourites so do say hi if you enjoyed. I *particularly* enjoy the visual of Holtz in lingerie and Erin sneaking under a table at a formal dinner, myself...


	7. sept.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight.  
> A good angle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy smut-sunday lovelies!
> 
> You all know how it goes - the rating's there for a reason.
> 
> Also, these are quite long, hence why there's only two.
> 
> Have fun...
> 
> x

-

 

 

**Twenty four.**

Fight.

 

 

-

 

 

Honestly, she hadn't even noticed.

 

She hadn't noticed because she's Erin Gilbert and no one flirts with her.

 

_Ever_.

 

Except for tonight, apparently. Much to the chagrin of her girlfriend who's walking beside her with her arms crossed over her chest.

 

She's not angry, not outwardly so. And she hadn't made a scene at the bar, had just come over and waited for a lull in Erin's conversation with the model-type at the bar and said she was leaving.

 

Her face had been carefully neutral though, which it never was, so Erin had up and followed as soon as she'd moved for the door.

 

“Jill, would you just stop? I promise I didn't even realise.”

 

It's not like Holtz to lose her cool like this but she's had a hard week with some of their equipment failing, and Erin suspects this was just one blow too many for her confidence.

 

“It's fine Erin, just leave it will you?”

 

She should, because it had been her bad but something tells her this needs to be lanced, not allowed to settle between them, so she grits her teeth and pushes back in a way that she know will get a reaction.

 

“Well it's clearly not _Jillian_ , or you wouldn't have left like that. And you wouldn't be walking two steps in front of me.”

 

“What do you want from me?” Jillian says turning, throwing her hands up in front of her. “You were flirting, consciously or unconsciously with that Kevin-lookalike, and I didn't like it so I left. I don't see what the problem is.”

 

“The problem is that we're in a relationship Jill, and you can't just run when something happens that you don't like. Even if it is my mistake. Tell me you're upset and we can resolve the situation.”

 

It's not their first fight, because they scrap about work in a constant back and forward that does wonders for their academic creativity, but it is their first fight about _them_ after almost six months of dating, and Erin thinks they're about to strike gold on something she knows has been sitting ill against Holtz's chest.

 

“Do you want to resolve the situation though?” Holtz asks with a frown as she crosses her arms again and leans up against the brick of the building beside them.

 

“What the hell does that mean?” Erin says, trying to keep her cool.

 

“It means we've never actually spoken about the big male elephant in the room, and maybe you've decided this isn't enough anymore.”

 

“That's not fair and you fucking know it,” Erin grits out. “Just because I'm interested in men doesn't mean I'm any less committed to this relationship, Jillian.”

 

Holtz deflates a little then, slumping heavier against the doorframe.

 

“Or do you really think that little of me?” Erin asks with a frown. “That I'd just roll out of your bed and into a man's, because I just can't help myself.”

 

“That's not what I meant.”

 

“Well what did you mean?”

 

“I don't know,” Holtz says throwing her arms up in exasperation. “I don't know, alright Erin? I've never done this before. I don't know how relationships are supposed to work.”

 

“Well here's a big clue,” Erin says walking into Holtz's space. “When your girlfriend does something you don't like, you tell her. And you talk about it.”

 

“My girlfriend,” Holtz says slowly.

 

“Yes,” Erin says with a huff. “ _Your_ girlfriend. You know, the one you wake up to every morning now?”

 

She watches Holtz a little curiously then, can see something turning behind her eyes and she braces her back slightly, completely unsure of what's going to happen next.

 

She doesn't have to wait long though, because Holtz grabs her by the front of her jacket and crashes their lips together before Erin can so much as breathe.

 

She spins them both, pulling them down the alley way Holtz had been resting against a second ago so they're just out of sight of the street, before she leans Erin against the side of a building.

 

“What are you….” Erin tries to ask before Jillian's lips are on hers again, cutting her off.

 

“Having what's mine, if you'll so kindly oblige,” Jillian says with a dangerous gleam in her eye.

 

It's an order but a question in one, because she'll never actually _take_ if Erin's not all in with her.

 

“Take then,” Erin says, slipping into line at once. “If you think you can.”

 

That's it, one simple sentence and Jillian is on her like a woman possessed.

 

She's only been like this a handful of times before but Erin revels in it because there's nothing like being taken like this, body and soul and teeth and _heat_.

 

She closes her eyes and _submits_ , leans back against the stone of the building behind her and pushes off and into Jillian's body as her hands scramble at the hem of Erin's dress.

 

It's hot and desperate and Holtz's teeth bite at Erin's neck, not nip but it's delicious and the moan that drifts from her lips is nothing short of animalistic.

 

“You like this?” Holtz asks heavily, smiling in realisation against her throat.

 

“Only you,” Erin manages to gasp as she feels Jillian's fingers slide against her. “Only with you.”

 

Her ability to speak coherently drops off at the point because Jillian lifts one hand wind into the hair at the base of Erin's neck and tugs, exposing more of Erin's neck to bruise.

 

Her lips are insistent and her hands are quick and her fingers are firm.

 

They swipe gently, testing the wetness before they push in with a pressure that makes Erin's knees weak.

 

Jillian reacts seamlessly though, loosening her hand from Erin's hair to pull one leg over her hip, stabilising Erin as she pushes them both backwards into the wall more firmly.

 

“I think I'll let people flirt with me more often if this is the reaction I get,” Erin teases, trying to see if there's room to push her more.

 

“Don't you dare,” Jillian says with a growl, slamming into Erin. “You're mine, Gilbert.”

 

This is what she needs, Erin thinks as she watches the tension bleed from Jillian with each thrust of her shoulder, to exorcise the tension and frustration and pressure bubbling beneath her pulse.

 

And it's exquisite, watching her relax like this, helping her relax like this, so Erin pushes back harder, throws herself at Jillian with a reckless abandon she has only ever felt safe showing around Holtz.

 

They move beautifully together and the brick at Erin's back sets the pace for the rigidity of their coupling.

 

Jillian is quick and precise and there's no play in the way she's driving Erin as mercilessly towards her orgasm as she can.

 

And really, it's all Erin can do to gasp and try to keep up because Jillian is _everywhere_.

 

Holtz's fingers start to curl at the end of the outward stroke and her teeth draw another bruise to the surface and Erin winces because she hates scarves but she'll be wearing them for a week after this.

 

Her release catches her by surprise.

 

Jillian's tongue sweeps out to smooth over the harshness of her bites as her hand pulls Erin's hip closer, drawing her down onto her fingers and the juxtaposition of the touches **hurls** her off the edge.

 

She gasps, her breath catching roughly in her throat and Jillian smiles against her neck, drawing wave upon wave from Erin with strong fingers and a whisper soft voice at her ear.

 

“That's it Erin. _Breathe_.”

 

“Like I said,” Erin says puffing roughly against Jillian's chest a few seconds later before she presses a kiss to the bare skin beneath her lips. “I really need to make you jealous more often.”

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

**Twenty five.**

A good angle.

 

 

-

 

 

“I can't _believe_ I let you talk me into filming us.”

 

There's a snip in Erin's voice that she's trying to pass as annoyance but in truth, she's scared.

 

She's scared because she's seen home videos of things like this before and they _never_ look good.

 

Because they can't even make it look appealing with a film set and professionals so what chance does she have with an amateur, albeit Jillian Holtzmann rigged, setup.

 

But amateur, still.

 

But she'd been _so_ curious to see how Holtz's exquisite sexuality translated to video because it's maddening in person, and Erin had a suspicion it would be just as good on tape.

 

The only downside to this was that it means she too had to take part, although she _had_ tried to talk Jillian into a little solo show.

 

 

-

 

 

“No way, Er. I'm more than happy to do this; ecstatic even but I want to see you just as badly as you want to see me. This is a two way street buttercup.”

 

“But I'll be there. I'll just be out of frame. Come on Jill, I'll do anything.”

 

“Erin, my love. It's you and me or nothing. I wasn't kidding when I said I want to see you too. And then I can take you with me on those long trips out of town, when I'm alone in those big hotel beds all my myself and….”

 

“Alright, fine. Both of us. But if that tape makes its way into anyone else's hands I'll kill you with my own, understand?”

 

“You're all mine Gilbert. I don't share my favourite things. Now, when can I schedule you in?”

 

“We don't have any plans tomorrow night?”

 

“Tomorrow night it is. I wonder how many angles I could rig up in our room. Hey, you can put holes in the ceiling, right?”

 

 

-

 

 

The setup and execution had been as awkward as Erin was expecting.

 

For her at least.

 

Holtz just seemed to enjoy it from start to finish.

 

Where she'd been nervous Holtz has buzzed with an electricity Erin had only seen the intensity of a handful of times and she'd asked Holtz as the blonde had started peeling away their layers why she was so _on_.

 

“Come on Er, you're not serious right? Do you know how good you look when we do anything together. I would have done almost anything to get you to agree to this. It's like a dream come true.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. Huge turn on. Like insane. I couldn't concentrate on anything all day. Look.”

 

“Oh my god Jill. You're….”

 

“That's you babe. All you. Now, what do you say we get this show on the road?”

 

 

-

 

 

It had taken her a while to relax, to forget the camera was recording but Holtz had taken her breath and her hesitation and she'd come harder than she ever had before in the end.

 

And then again.

 

And again.

 

 

-

 

 

Now the buzz is gone and the burn of their orgasms has faded from the edge of Erin's fingertips and she's filled fit to burst with doubt and a hint of regret.

 

“I don't think I can watch,” Erin says with a frown as they sit on the couch, Jillian's laptop in front of them on the coffee table.

 

“You're going to have to do this by yourself,” Erin says making to move but Jillian's hand wraps around her wrist and tugs, pulling her back down.

 

“No way Gilbert. You think I'm excited to see my white ass on this video? If it's awful we'll be embarrassed together, ok?”

 

“But what if it's really bad?”

 

“Then we delete it. Something tells me it's not going to be though.”

 

“God I wish I was as confident as you. Alright then. Let's get this over with.”

 

Jillian hits play and Erin cringes, closing her eyes as they come into frame.

 

Holtz sinks her nails into Erin's thigh though, and her eyes jump open.

 

“Nah-uh. Watch. Unless you want me to make you.”

 

Erin feels a ripple shudder between them and Holtz feels it too, bites her nails a little deeper into Erin’s leg and smiles.

 

“You going to behave? Or should I go get my belt?”

 

Erin feels a hot throb pulse between her legs and she makes a noise that doesn't sound anything clearer than animalistic but she shakes her head because she suspects that will be _too much_.

 

“Later. Maybe. If you want me to watch that's only going to distract me more,” Erin says in reply.

 

And she can actually _see_ the pulse hammering in Jillian's neck and she bites her lip to stop herself biting Jillian instead.

 

Holtz is looking at her like she wants to eat her alive and they are allowed to get a little off track so Erin grabs Holtz by the chin and smashes their lips together in a desperate kiss.

 

It's hot and dirty and Holtz has her top off before she can tell her not too.

 

“Wait,” Erin says, pushing Jillian away by the chest when her hands move to Erin's pants. “Hit play. Who says we can't do both.”

 

“I fucking love you, you know that right?” Jillian says as she leans away from Erin to press play before she turns back, pulling Erin roughly into her lap so they can both watch side on.

 

This is better, Erin thinks.

 

This way if it's terrible she can just focus on Holtz beneath her instead of having to give it her full, undiluted attention.

 

It starts out slow, Erin sitting on the edge of the bed as Holtz stands between her legs.

 

It's awful to begin with, from her at least. Erin can read the nerves through the video with a diamond clarity but luckily they don't last long, because Jillian Holtzmann is nothing if not an expert in distraction.

 

Erin watches as she unbuckles Holtz's jeans, helping her out of them before the blonde drops to her knees on the carpet between Erin's legs and she pulls Holtz's top off over her head.

 

Jillian's body is amazing in real life because hauling machinery around for years had made her _strong_ so Erin's always been a huge fan, but she's never been able to see her from all these different angles at once and it's incredible.

 

Holtz crawls into Erin's lap then, takes her face between two hands and kisses like her life depends on it and Erin watches herself begin to lose control.

 

Jillian, on the other hand just looks exquisite.

 

She bends and arches her back on top of Erin and it makes her pull the real thing closer and harder against her.

 

“God, you look incredible,” Erin mumbles against her lips.

 

“You're the main act babe,” Jillian moans back as she takes Erin's lip between her teeth. “See?”

 

Erin turns just in time to see Holtz push her back on the bed before she kisses a slow track up get body, pushing the dress Erin has on up and over her hips.

 

It's so distracting watching them because as loathe as Erin is to admit it, it looks _hot_.

 

She watches as she arches up into Jillian, making room in the bend of her back for her dress to be pulled up higher until Jillian can push it over her breasts and off.

 

Video Holtz throws Video Erin's dress behind her and there's something about the haste of it that makes Erin throb.

 

And Jillian sees it too, pulling Erin in by the back of her neck to affix her lips to Erin's pulse point as Erin watches transfixed.

 

The muscles in Jillian's back dance beautifully as she moves down Video Erin's now almost bare body, disposing of her underwear before she settles between Video Erin's legs.

 

Erin watches as she jumps, bows her back like a dancer at the first sweep of Video Jillian's tongue.

 

Her nails sink into the soft skin at the small of Real Jillian's back where her hands rest under her shirt and Jillian's teeth bite into Erin's neck in response.

 

It takes her a moment to realise what Holtz is doing, distracted as she is by the doubled draw on her attention but she realises she's playing with her.

 

“Is this what you wanted all along?” Erin purrs into her ear. “To fuck me while you watch us?”

 

“Yes,” Jillian hisses. “I mean don't get me wrong I'm stoked about having you on tape but I wanted to see what watching it would do to you.”

 

“And does this live up to your expectations?”

 

“I don't know,” Jillian says, smirking against Erin's throat as she slips her hand between them and her fingers slip against the wetness there. “You tell me. It certainly _feels_ like you're enjoying yourself.”

 

Erin growls, but before she can push Jillian down and snatch the mantle of power back Video Erin's hands move desperately to Holtz's hair and Holt slides Erin's legs up and over her shoulder.

 

And Erin just stops still because she can remember this.

 

She can picture exactly what Jillian's tongue felt like pushing into her as her fingers wrapped around Erin's nipples and tugged, and her body reacts like it's being put under the same touch now.

 

Jillian takes advantage of Erin's distracted mind and slides her fingers lower, pushing in with two fingers as a third strokes softly and Erin gasps, hard as she and Video Erin come together.

 

She doesn't know where to look, or what to do because Real Jillian's lips are pulling at the skin, drawing the blood to the surface as Video Jillian pushes for another orgasm and her moans, both sets, echo around the room.

 

“Holy shit,” Erin says, breathing hard against Jillian's chest.

 

Holtz breathes a sigh that's halfway between a moan and a laugh and she presses a quick kiss to the reddening skin over Erin's pulse.

 

“Mission success then? Oh yeah, you're definitely going to need to wear a scarf tomorrow. Sorry.”

 

“It's ok,” Erin says casually, pulling at the bottom of Holtz's top.

 

“It is?” Holtz asks surprised.

 

“Yep,” Erin says, gesturing for Holtz to shift her hips up so Erin can pull her pants down.

 

“What are you doing?” Holtz asks carefully as Erin pushes her backwards into the couch so she can crawl up to sit over her hips.

 

“Giving you a matching one,” Erin says easily as she takes Jillian's hands quicker than she can so much as blink or push her away.

 

“Erin, no- _oh god_.”

 

Her hands are quick but her mouth is quicker and it closes around the soft skin of Jillian's neck **hard** at the same as her hand slips beneath her underwear and _in_.

 

Holtz moans, and it's in a strangely beautiful symphony with the moan of Video Holtz who has Erin's hands on her too.

 

And Erin knows Jillian could stop this, could push up against her because yes, there's an advantage to being on top and Jillian is stronger and could flip them with ease, but Erin can sense she doesn't want to.

 

Because Erin claiming her is one of the fastest ways to heat her blood and Jillian wears her marks with _pride_.

 

So she runs her hands up Erin's sides beneath her top and scratches down the length of Erin’s back because Jillian knows that makes Erin _bite_.

 

She does, hard too and Jillian gasps melodically against the pain.

 

Erin's fingers settle into a beautiful rhythm as her teeth scrape tantalizingly along sensitive skin, and she watches as Holtz closes her eyes, takes her hands holding the tide away and _feels_.

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ends the initial collection team. 100+ pages in a word doc is a lot, right?
> 
> Luckily (hopefully) for you all, I've been since inspired so have another few chapters to add to this over the next week or so. Keep an eye out!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading thus far and leaving kudos and such incredible comments, and as always, I'd love to hear about your favourites. I for one would give the shirt off my back for that tape...
> 
> xx


	8. huit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hours and hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut continues!
> 
> Look, there's only one but I promise it's good (I hope you all think so anyway). It's like 3,000 words of a strap-on and love and softness, but heat too, so enjoy?
> 
> x

-

 

**Twenty six.**

Hours and hours.

 

-

 

Holtz pushes Erin into the back of the front door the moment they walk through it, rolling her hips against Erin's.

 

Their hands scramble, searching desperately for skin, and Erin moans loud when Jillian moves her kisses from Erin's lips to her neck.

 

There's nothing special about tonight, no birthday or anniversary they're celebrating. Erin had just come home from lecturing and suggested they go out for dinner and Holtz had given her a beautiful, face splitting smile before she'd slipped off the couch and into the shower.

 

The tension, the _want_ , had been there from the moment Holtz had stepped out of their room fastening something beneath her slightly baggy dress pants that definitely _wasn't_ a belt, and Erin had barely been able to think about anything that wasn't _Jillian Jillian Jillian_ all evening.

 

Dinner was good, beautiful even, and it had served as the perfect entree to whatever this night is going to become because they're desperate for contact now.

 

They had barely been able to keep things above a mature rating in the cab, tipping generously for the blind eye cast to their obvious amorous intent in the back seat, and Erin's never been happier to be home than she is right now.

 

Holtz's hands push back her blazer as her teeth close heavily at Erin’s neck and _god_ , she's hot.

 

Their hands continue on their endeavour to cover as much heated flesh as they possible can but it's not quick or hurried. It's _slow_.

 

Erin's hands move to Jillian's waist to pull her shirt out of her pants when her hands brush over the soft well-worn leather at her hip.

 

“Oh,” Erin says softly, almost a whimper. “I'd forgotten.”

 

And she doesn't know how on earth she _could_ have, but she had. Now though, it's **all** she can think about.

 

“We don't have to,” Holtz says tugging gently on the hair at the base of Erin's neck, encouraging her to tip it back and bare the flesh to Jillian's lips more. “I don't have to. I can just…”

 

“No,” Erin says around a moan as Holtz’s other hand palms at her breast. “I want you to….. is that….”

 

“Perfect,” Holtz says mumbling against her skin. “It's perfect Erin. You're perfect.”

 

And honestly, never in her life did she ever expect to have someone say something like that to her. To mean it like Holtz does. And that’s not self deprecation, it's just fact.

 

But Jillian, Jillian _worships_ her.

 

She moves over Erin's skin like the secrets of the universe lie just below the surface, but they'll only reveal themselves with touch. A loving touch, at that. And nothing less.

 

It's more by a factor of about a thousand of what Erin ever thought she'd find in a relationship or a partner, and she doesn't take a second of it for granted.

 

Jillian's hands abandon their individual pursuits to slide beneath the bottom of Erin's black dress as she looks up for Erin's approval.

 

“Off? Or….”

 

“Later,” Erin says shaking her head. “Leave it on for now, I want….”

 

“I know,” Holtz says as she smiles wickedly, rucking it up and over Erin's hips as she drops her head to nip at Erin's collarbone.

 

It's a little odd maybe, but there's just _something_ about having Holtz take her while they're both still partially clothed, fabric pushed aside to accommodate their need for each other, that has Erin's blood almost boiling in her veins.

 

She pushes Holtz’s now unbuttoned shirt open, palming at her breasts through the plain black bra she's wearing as the blonde's hands draw her in for another kiss.

 

It's long and deep and **heavy** and it mirrors their touch beautifully, and Erin's panting with the effort of drawing in a clean breath when they break apart.

 

Holtz drops to her knees then as Erin gasps, draws her fingers like a whisper up the inside of Erin's calves as she pulls Erin's leg over her shoulder.

 

It's not strictly necessary because Erin's soaked already but Jillian Holtzmann is nothing if not thorough and she works Erin up, readying her.

 

When Jillian finally slides two fingers in it's effortless, and it takes Erin's breath away.

 

Her legs buckle slightly but Holtz’s hands are firm and steady at her hips, and she looks up to Erin from her position on her knees with a smirk.

 

“Bedroom?”

 

“Not yet,” Erin says with a shudder as Holtz moves her fingers a fraction, testing the reaction. “Soon, but not yet. I want you to take me here first.”

 

Holtz just about growls in response and she moves between Erin's thighs with a renewed purpose, her mouth settling hotly over Erin's core as her tongue pushes inside.

 

It just about pulls Erin to pieces on the spot but Jillian's cleverer than that, and she knows that part of Erin's body better than she knows it herself.

 

So she pulls back, just as Erin's starting to shake, and she looks up at Erin again with wide black eyes.

 

“I think you're….”

 

“Yes,” Erin says tugging her up to crash their lips together. “ _Please_ , Jill.”

 

At another time or on another day a comment like that would have started a game of its own, but not tonight.

 

Tonight is about them and bowing to the pleasure they've been so lucky to bestow each other with. No tricks or teasing, just hot want and the unyielding burn of each other's bodies.

 

Holtz smiles as she stands, drawing her hand through Erin as Erin pulls at the edges of the blonde’s pants, allowing them to drop so Holtz can step out of them.

 

It probably should look ridiculous, the sight of Holtz wearing the toy strapped into the harness over her underwear, but it doesn't.

 

It just looks good.

 

_Really_ fucking good.

 

Her mind just goes blank and her cheeks flush a deep red at the picture in front of her, and Jillian just smirks a little in response.

 

“I love what it does to you,” Holtz says leaning to whisper in Erin's ear. “Me wearing this, I mean. You're so pretty when you're coy, Erin.”

 

She leans back, kissing Erin one last time as she encourages Erin's calf up and over her hip giving her clearer access. She looks to Erin, waiting for her nod before she lines herself up and pushes in so slowly Erin thinks she might _faint_.

 

It's just the head at first and she knows Jillian's teasing now, but Erin looks to Jillian's gaze, absolutely transfixed at the sight of her disappearing into Erin and she thinks that if possible, Holtz is getting as much out of this as she is.

 

So she doesn't push against the length, not yet, instead she just shudders as her body takes the shallow intrusion and then she **tenses**.

 

It does something they've never had happen before, drawing Jillian in just the smallest amount but it's _enough_.

 

Enough that Holtz feels it, and Erin watches as her eyes go from black trimmed with blue to pitch dark and it makes her gasp.

 

“Did you…?”

 

Erin nods, biting her lip as she does so, and she revels in the shudder it produces in the blonde.

 

“ _Jesus_ , Erin,” Holtz says with a breath, looking down between them as she moves her hips ever so slightly, watching as a mirrored shiver passes through Erin's body too.

 

“Ready?” Holtz asks, firming her grip on the outside of Erin's thigh and Erin nods again, her teeth still stuck in her lip in anticipation.

 

Holtz smiles low and smouldering and Erin closes her eyes as she feels Holtz grip her leg and pull at the same time that both of them move their hips towards each other, and the length of the toy fills her.

 

“Oh god,” Erin says shakily as her hips come to rest against Jillian's, her body pulsing heavily in relief at the stretch.

 

“That feels so different,” Erin says as she blows a low breath out through her teeth. “Like it's _more_.”

 

“Oh god Er, I'm sorry. Were you not….?”

 

“No,” she says quickly, grabbing at Holtz’s forearm to stop her moving away. “No, no it's good. Really _really_ good.”

 

“You're sure?” Holtz asks still concerned, but Erin's long gone now because **god** she can feel the warmth of Jillian's bare legs against her own and it feels like _she's_ inside Erin, not the toy.

 

“Yes,” Erin says moaning as she rolls her hips and her hands move up to run through her own hair. “But if you don't start moving I think I might die, Jill. _Please_.”

 

Holtz smiles because she knows now, can feel it in the way Erin's body reaches for her own. So she starts.

 

The thrusts are shallow at first, teasing, and Erin can feel herself pull around the length as she looks for more.

 

She doesn't get it yet though, no, because Jillian has a plan, a strategy rolling between her shoulder blades as she thrusts lightly, and Erin knows she's going to take her time tonight, draw as much from Erin as she can give.

 

And she can't _wait_.

 

So she tries to will her pulse to slow because this is a marathon not a sprint, and she needs to find her pace.

 

It's hard though, because Holtz starts moving quicker, elongates the thrusts just a little, and Erin's hips start to meet hers with more power than before.

 

She runs her hands up Holtz's back under her arms and she drags her nails gently from the nape of Jillian's neck to the base of her spine, smiling against the skin of the blonde's throat as the muscles jump beautifully for her finger tips.

 

Jillian reacts then, starts moving swift and firm for about twenty seconds and Erin starts to squirm because _god_ she's close already.

 

Holtz feels it too, of course she does, and she smirks as she draws Erin in for a deep kiss as her hips just **stop**.

 

Erin's heart does too, but it starts again like she's hit a live wire when Holtz pulls all the way out and then in again, before she repeats the movement over and over at an achingly slow pace.

 

“God, Jill,” she moans, her head falling heavily against the door.

 

“What, Erin?” Holtz says with a smirk as deep as Erin's hunger. “What do you want? What do you need?”

 

“You,” Erin says gasping on the outward stroke. “Just you. I want you to take me apart, Jill. Please.”

 

She moans again and Holtz smiles too because she understands what Erin means, she takes gladly the body being offered to her with a reverence Erin deserves, and Erin could cry because the connection between them is so strong she needn't have added the words at all.

 

There's a breath, the length of a pulse of the earth around them and their eyes meet, clear and blue.

 

“I love you,” Holtz says with a whisper.

 

“I love you too,” Erin smiles back, winding a loose strand of hair behind Holtz's ear. “I'm yours, you know?”

 

“As I am yours, my love,” Jillian replies gently.

 

It's soft for another second and then Erin sees something shift behind Holtz's eyes.

 

“Now,” she says with a low voice. “What was that you said about taking you apart?”

 

-

 

She has Erin _everywhere_.

 

On top of the bench, over the dining table, in her lap on the couch, on her hands on knees on the floor next to it.

 

They lose most of their clothes along the way and when Erin catches sight of their reflection in the mirror on the way to their bed she almost laughs because they're that disheveled, it looks like they've been made up.

 

Their hair is messy and their cheeks are flushed and Erin thinks Jillian's never looked more beautiful as she pulls her hair, now down around her shoulders, up in a rushed bun before she lays Erin down on their bed and crawls up her body.

 

“How shall we finish?” Holtz asks as she kisses the flat of Erin's stomach.

 

“You choose,” Erin says breathily as Holtz nips at the rise of her hips.

 

“I want it all,” Jillian says looking to Erin with a heat in her eyes that makes Erin shake. “Again. I want it all, again. Can you take it?”

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Erin says with a gasp as Holtz moves lower, her tongue moving gently through hot flesh again. “With you, _always_ yes.”

 

-

 

She knows there won't be an inch in her entire frame that's not sore tomorrow because they've literally done this every way their bodies will bend, and Erin's muscles ache already.

 

She's almost spent, so very near her limit, but knows she can go a little longer.

 

She's lying on her stomach with Jillian moving low and close at her back, peppering kisses across the sweep of her shoulders, but the range of her thrusts isn't quite _enough_.

 

Before she can say anything though Holtz reads the push back in her body and draws away, running her fingertips along Erin's spine in response to the little gasp that falls from Erin’s lips at the loss of thickness between her thighs.

 

Holtz draws Erin up flush against her chest before spinning her so they're face to face.

 

Erin leans in, kisses the exhausted smile off Jillian's mouth before pushing her down onto the mattress.

 

She straddles Jillian's hips, sinks down onto the toy as slowly as she can, and god she's glad she thought of this because Jillian's eyes go wide before she bites her lip deliciously.

 

“Fuck, Erin,” Holtz says running one hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face before placing both hands on Erin's hips.

 

“My turn,” Erin says with a smirk.

 

This is _perfect_ because she knows this position creates a good amount of friction for the person on the bottom, so if she does this well she might just be able to bring Jillian with her when she drops off the edge.

 

Erin starts moving, rolls her body forward and then back, and watches as Jillian's eyes flutter closed as her hips move perfectly in time to meet Erin's.

 

She feels powerful like this, in control, and it's beautiful because she never thought she'd be so empowered by giving someone else pleasure, or by taking her own.

 

This angle is different, but she can control the depth now and she's well warmed up so it's no difficulty to come to rest flush against Holtz's hips on the downward movement.

 

It's not going to take long because she's already holding on to her own release, but she wants Jillian to come with her. She doesn't look far away either though, the pressure on her own core from Erin's thrusts above pushing her there too.

 

Erin looks down and wishes she could capture this image forever, sear it into her memory for the rest of her natural days, because Holtz is just falling apart beneath her.

 

She's looking up to Erin like this is the single most erotic thing she's ever seen in her entire life and it makes Erin blush even deeper.

 

“Jesus Erin,” Holtz says panting. “You have no fucking idea how incredible you look right now.”

 

“You don't look too bad yourself,” Erin says with a smirk as she rolls her hips heavily. “Are you….?”

 

“Close,” Holtz says with a gasp. “I'm so fucking close too.”

 

Erin leans down lower, slides one hand up Jillian's stomach as the muscles tense under her hand to cup a breast and roll her nipple between her fingers as the other holds her steady by the blonde's shoulder.

 

Erin can feel the shaking start low in her belly then so she leans lower to take the other breast in her mouth as she rolls her hips heavily but slowly against Jillian's. The second later she feels rather than hears a catch in breath in the body below hers.

 

And _god_ it couldn't be more perfect, because the angle hits a different part of Erin and it's all over for her, too.

 

The wave hits them both about a second apart but it's close enough that they go together, their hips moving in sync as they desperately try to claw as much of a release for the other as they can.

 

Holtz pushes herself up, crashing their mouths together as her tongue slides against Erin's, and Erin can hear her heartbeat through their kiss.

 

Their release is deep, shaking Erin from her bones out. When it finally leaves her, leaves them both, she collapses boneless and sated on Jillian's chest.

 

“Good _god_ ,” Erin says once her breath slows enough that she's not gasping for air.

 

“Are you still with me?” Holtz asks weakly beneath her. “Because I think I might be dead myself.”

 

“Sorry,” Erin says with a smile moving to push herself off. Holtz is quicker though, sliding her arms around Erin's shoulders holding Erin against her body before she can move.

 

“No,” Holtz says mumbling into Erin’s neck as she rolls them, changing their positions so she can look down at Erin. “Stay, just for a second.”

 

She shivers because Holtz is still _inside_ her, and the move jostles her just enough to send an impossible throb through her core.

 

“Thank god for that,” Erin says with a laugh as she pushes her hair out of her eyes. “I don't think I could move if you paid me.”

 

“Erin Gilbert,” Holtz says in mock horror. “Pay you for sex? I would never.”

 

“You're insufferable,” Erin says laughing as Holtz looks at her with a lopsided smile. “What?”

 

“Nothing,” Holtz says innocently.

 

“What?” Erin says again, a suspicious look on her face.

 

“Well….” Holtz says looking over Erin's shoulder. “It's three am already. I've always wanted to call in sick on account of sex-exhaustion. What do you say?”

 

She almost says no automatically because they've been at this for hours and she shouldn't be able to stomach a seconds more pleasure, but her body is reacting to the gentle movement of Jillian's hips and she thinks she might _just_ be able to go another round.

 

“How do you do this?” Erin asks prettily, reaching up to wind her hand in Holtz's hair. “How do you make me want you so much?”

 

“My unwavering irresistibility,” Holtz says with a smirk before her smile deepens, and she leans down to brush her nose against Erin's. “Love, Er. It's love.”

 

It's true, and it's so pure and wonderful that Erin wants to cry or sing to the stars but she'll settle for this, for sharing this with Holtz instead.

 

“Show me,” Erin says with a gasp as her body rolls over Erin's.

 

So she does.

  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's only the one piece but the chapter itself was bloody long, right? 
> 
> Let me know if you still enjoyed?
> 
> x


	9. neuf.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirror mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another monster piece so there's only the one but I think you'll agree that it was worth it that I drew this one out a little more....
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> xx

-

  
  


**Twenty seven.**

Mirror mirror.

  
  


-

  
  


Erin thinks it's the full moon. 

 

Not that she's ever put stock in that brand of mysticism, but if ghosts are real who's to say that's not too. 

 

Whatever it is there's definitely  _ something _ though, because they've barely been able to keep their hands off each other all week, and if Erin thought they had been hot up before, tonight would crack the barometer for sure. 

 

They've been out for dinner with the others to celebrate securing additional funding from one of the out of state universities supporting their work, and Patty had insisted on going highbrow instead of cheap and cheerful. 

 

The black knee length dress Erin had thrown on the bed had complimented Jillian's loose black dress slacks with a crisp white shirt and black tie perfectly, and she hadn't been able to stop staring at the the image of them in the mirror behind Holtz at the restaurant all night. 

 

It hadn't helped that Jillian had sat across from her eating with as much sexual energy as humanly possible, dragging the fork from between her lips so slowly Erin had almost thrown reason and sense to the wind and had her on the table. 

 

It also hadn't helped that Holtz had tried to slip her hand beneath Erin’s dress underneath the table either, her fingers teasing along the hem of her dress before Erin had taken her hand and squeezed in warning and  _ not yet.  _

 

So it's perfectly reasonable then, Erin thinks, that she can feel her pulse trying to move out and away from her body as soon as they get into the cab because they're almost home and they can finally  _ do _ something to ease the heat between them. 

 

Holtz is sitting much too close to her in the back seat of the car, the side of her body flush completely with Erin's as her arm rests on Erin's shoulder, playing with the thin strap of her dress. 

 

And that's fine. 

 

Well, Erin still wants to climb into her lap and slide her hand down Jillian's pants but still, she can handle this. 

 

But then Holtz leans in as the lights change to pull at the strap with her teeth and a shiver runs through Erin's body and settles between her legs, and she knows she's done for. 

 

She reaches down grasping at Jillian's thigh in an attempt to ground herself but the car jolts at the last minute and Erin's hand slips, brushing over her crotch instead. 

 

Only it doesn't meet soft fabric, it meets something significantly  _ firmer _ . 

 

Her eyes shoot to Jillian's and she's met with a smirk that heats her blood instantly. 

 

“You didn't….” Erin says unbelievingly. 

 

“So what if I did?” Holtz says leaning in to whisper in Erin's ear. “I was going to ask but that ruins the fun, doesn't it? You've just been irresistible all week Erin, I couldn't help myself.”

 

She settles her hand on Holtz's thigh again, moving higher to brush against the now obvious length and  _ god _ , she doesn't know how she missed it before. 

 

“How did I….?”

 

“Not notice? I think you were too busy staring at my ass,” Holtz says with a smile.

 

Holtz trails her fingertips along the line of Erin's shoulder and Erin has to bite her lip to keep from moaning before she remembers that two can play at this game. 

 

She slides her hand higher, running it over the middle of Jillian's crotch before taking a handful and squeezing. 

 

And it's not like Holtz can actually  _ feel _ anything, but clearly the insinuation is enough because her mouth falls open and her hips move up into Erin's hand. 

 

If they weren't a block away from their apartment Erin wouldn't have been able to stop herself climbing on Jillian's lap and  _ grinding down, _ but they're so close now so she digs her nails into the palm of her spare hand instead. 

 

Erin’s out of the cab in a flash when the driver finally stops, throwing a hasty ‘keep the change’ behind her as she all but drags Holtz in and up to their apartment. 

 

Erin pushes Holtz up against the outside of their front door, fumbling in Jillian's jacket pocket for their keys before they tumble through, hands glued to each other's bodies. 

 

Holtz walks her back, picks her up and deposits her on the dining table in the middle of the lounge before sweeping Erin's thighs apart to stand between them, rolling the bulge in her pants against Erin heavily. 

 

“Wait,” Erin gasps, tugging on Jillian's tie lightly. 

 

Holtz stops immediately, her hands freezing on the top of Erin's bare thighs as she looks up and into Erin's eyes, panting slightly. 

 

“Are you….?” The blonde asks, her eyes watching Erin carefully. 

 

“Fine, Jill,” Erin says smiling, pulling Holtz in by her tie now instead. “I'm fine. I just want to do this in bed tonight. Is that….?”

 

“Perfect,” Holtz says moving into Erin again, her hands moving with the confirmation. 

 

She moves to scoop Erin up, to wrap Erin's legs around her waist before Erin stops her with a shake of the head. 

 

“I want you to go and wait for me,” she says with a smirk, leaning in to brush her lips ever so lightly against Jillian's,  _ teasing _ . “Please.”

 

“Whatever you want,” Holtz says, equally softly, her fingers drawing circles on the inside of Erin's thighs. 

 

Erin slides off the bench with that, pushing at Holtz slightly when she doesn't move immediately, her eyes fixed on Erin’s body. 

 

“Go,” Erin says with a smile. “It'll be worth it, I promise.”

 

She leans in then, drawing Jillian to her with a kiss they both feel through their entire bodies. 

 

They're both shaking slightly when they part because there's electricity running across their skin and beneath it like there's a battery attached to them somewhere. 

 

Jillian sighs as she moves, bites her lip as she turns, following Erin's eyeline to the bedroom. 

 

Erin watches her go, waiting until she sees the back of Holtz disappear and flop down on the bed before she moves into the bathroom. 

 

She doesn't need to freshen up, not really, but sometimes the little tease of a delay is enough to set Jillian on fire, and she wants to make tonight as good for the both of them as she can. 

 

Erin takes in her reflection in the mirror. Her hair is slightly mussed and her dress is a little askew. Her eye makeup is smudged making it look darker, slightly dangerous and oddly fitting for the mood she knows is running through Jillian as well as herself. 

 

She's half way through raising her hand to smooth down a stray bit of hair when movement behind her catches her eye and she spins. 

 

“I couldn't wait,” Holtz says as she pulls Erin to her, crashing their lips together as she pushes Erin back against the bathroom sink. 

 

And really Erin had wanted to do this horizontal but Jillian's tongue is in her mouth and her hands are in Erin's hair and she's rolling her hips, and there's no way they're going to get out of here without touching each other now. 

 

Erin moans heavily against Holtz's mouth as she pulls her closer, eliminating all space between them as her leg winds up and around Jillian's hip to bring the bulge she knows is just beneath the fabric of her pants firmer against her own crouch. 

 

“ _ Jesus _ ,” Erin pants when they pull away for a breath. “I need you, Jill.”

 

“I need you too,” Holtz says a little desperately as she runs her hands down Erin's sides to squeeze at her ass, bringing their hips bumping together again. “Can I?”

 

“Yes,” Erin pants, moving to tug at the hem of her own dress.  

 

“No,” Holtz says, stilling her hands with a low smirk. “Let me….please?”

 

Erin just half nods as she moans, pulling Holtz in for another kiss. 

 

She leads Jillian's hands down to the edge of the fabric at her thighs before something flashes across Holtz's eyes and she smiles wickedly. 

 

She pulls away slightly, and Erin's about to ask her what's going on before she takes Erin by the hips gently and spins her to face the mirror again, Holtz standing at her back behind her. 

 

Her hands settle on the zip at the base of Erin's neck and Erin bites her tongue because that makes sense, so she dips her head as Jillian kisses the bare skin she exposes at her back. 

 

She's expecting Holtz to peel the dress away from her shoulders but she doesn't, instead Erin feels her hands drop to the button of her trousers, hears the fly unzip before they fall to the floor, sliding against her bare skin. 

 

Erin's about to turn back when Jillian's hands at her hips stop her, and the blonde leans in to nip at Erin's earlobe as she whispers against the skin of her neck. 

 

“No,” Holtz says, voice low and a little unsteady. “Stay. Please. I want to watch us.”

 

Her words settle heavily between Erin's legs with a throb, and her first instinct is to shake her head with insecurity but then she looks up, taking in the picture of them both, and her pulse starts to thump in her wrists because they look  _ exquisite _ .  

 

She nods, not trusting her voice to hold steady as she moves back into the length strapped to Jillian's hips because  **_yes_ ** , she wants this too. 

 

Badly. 

 

Holtz looks at them in the mirror over Erin's shoulder, her eyes black with a line of blue, before her lips move along the line of skin that's now exposed as her hands drop to Erin's thighs and she pulls Erin's dress up slowly, inch by inch. 

 

Erin bites her lip, trying not to push back into Jillian's hips anymore than she already is. She flexes her hands, still at her sides for the moment before she moves one to wind in Holtz's hair to bring her lips closer to Erin's skin as the other clutches at the edge of the sink for stability. 

 

A shaky moan falls from Erin's lips as her dress slides over the curve of her hips lead by Jillian's hands before they dip under the edge of her underwear. 

 

Erin tips her head back and emboldened by the heat pulsing between them, takes her hand at the sink and moves it to cover Jillian's before she leads both their hands down against her core. 

 

She buckles, regardless of the fact that it's partly her hand because she's  _ dripping _ wet, and the growl that Holtz lets out at her shoulder does nothing to assuage that. 

 

“Jesus  _ Christ _ , Erin,” Holtz moans before her teeth sink into the soft skin at Erin's shoulder. 

 

The blonde takes over then, swiping her fingers to spread the wetness before she draws back, her thumbs pulling at the edges of the elastic. 

 

“Can I….?”

 

“Yes,” Erin moans, moving back into Holtz. “ _ Please _ .”

 

She feels Jillian smile at her shoulder because it's a game sometimes, making each other want enough to beg. Sometimes they use it, play with it or draw it out and tease, but not tonight. 

 

Tonight Jillian will take it for the plea that it is and will  _ give, _ willingly. 

 

Which she does, sinking to her knees taking Erin's underwear with her as the bends, bracing Erin as she steps out of it before kissing up the inside of Erin's leg on the way back up. 

 

Her lips settle on every third vertebrae as she rises, her fingers sliding up the length of Erin's spine too before they settle on Erin's shoulders, tipping her head to the side so Jillian can nip at the curve of her neck. 

 

“Ready?” Holtz asks gently, looking for Erin's expression in the mirror, smiling as Erin blushes lightly as she nods in reply. 

 

They're both still half-clothed. Erin's dress is up around her hips and half off her shoulders but not fully, and Jillian's pantless but still wearing her own underwear and a hastily unbuttoned shirt, the tie loose around her neck too. 

 

Holtz coaxes Erin's legs apart gently with her knee before she runs her hand up length of Erin's back again, encouraging her to lean forward slightly. 

 

Erin bends willingly, opening herself for Holtz as she braces her hands on the edge of the sink. 

 

Jillian places one more kiss to the top of Erin's shoulder as one of her hands drops to test the wetness between Erin's legs. 

 

“ _ Jesus _ Erin. Do you think you need….”

 

“No,” Erin says shaking her head with as little urgency as she can but it's  _ hard _ because she can feel the length occasionally bump into her now. “No, I think I'm….”

 

“So do I,” Holtz says with a smirk. 

 

Holtz takes the hand now slick with Erin, lining herself and nudging ever so lightly  _ inside _ as the other hand moves to cover Erin's on the sink top. 

 

“You're exquisite,” Holtz says looking up and into Erin's eyes in the mirror. “You know that, right?  _ Exquisite _ .”

 

She pushes in as the last syllable falls from between her lips. It's soft and only an inch or so deep, and it's far from enough but god, at least they've begun. 

 

Holtz looks up, waits for Erin's nod because she knows Erin's well beyond words now before she pushes all the way in, her legs coming to rest flush against Erin's. 

 

“Holy  _ shit _ , Jill,” Erin says shuddering as her body shifts to accommodate the length. 

 

Holtz just smirks at her shoulder, winds their fingers together at the edge of the sink and grips firmly, almost readying Erin as she pulls all the way out and back in again. 

 

Erin's knees buckle this time and her mouth falls open in pleasure as Holtz moves them forward seamlessly, pressing Erin more firmly against the edge to support them both as the strength comes back to her limbs. 

 

“Ok?” Holtz asks with another kiss to her back as her other arm comes to rest alongside Erin's other, gripping at the edge too. 

 

“Yes,” Erin pants as she starts moving again. “God, yes.”

 

“Good,” Holtz says looking to watch them again as she drags her teeth along the bend of Erin's neck. 

 

“Now, hold on baby. I think you're going to need to.”

  
  


-

  
  


Erin had been worried the mirror would've too confronting, too much of them, but  _ god _ is she wrong. 

 

It's enough of a turn on getting to watch Jillian when they're together normally, but seeing them move together is something else. 

 

Because Holtz is beautiful and there's an intensity and a confidence in her as she moves into Erin that makes her shake but there's a tenderness too, and that is everything else. 

 

Because for every rough thrust or bite there's a caress of lips too, and the combination of harder and soft is driving Erin absolutely crazy. 

 

Well, that and how much of an expert Jillian is with the length strapped around her waist. 

 

She moves like it's an extension of her hips and it's seamless, easily better than anything Erin's ever experienced with its anatomic double. 

 

She's bent lower now, because it becomes harder and harder to keep an upright position but it's good too, because she can push back like this. She can move and seek Jillian's hips with a purpose that's making the blonde behind her moan too because she  _ loves _ it when Erin throws herself into it like this. 

 

And she's not far off now because the toy is hitting a deeper angle with every thrust of Jillian's hips, and the hand that had been palming at her breast has slipped between her legs to brush over her clit. 

 

“I'm so close,” she pants, leaving up and back against Jillian's body. 

 

It shallows the thrusts but it brings her neck closer to Holtz lips again and the blonde takes advantage of that as soon as Erin settles against her. 

 

“Do you want to move?” Holtz asks as her mouth settles over Erin's pulse and sucks hard, drawing the blood to the surface with tongue and teeth. 

 

“No,” Erin groans, shaking her head. “I want to come here. I want to watch.”

 

“Good,” Holtz says with a smirk. “I was hoping you'd say that.”

 

She pauses for a second, pulling her shirt off before she bunches it up, resting it on the edge of the sink beside Erin's splayed hands. 

 

She's about to ask  _ what _ when Jillian drops her hand, bringing Erin's knee up to rest on the edge of the sink over the softness of the padded fabric. 

 

She feels a tiny shift in the current of the room blow against her now even more exposed core, and she shudders because that means….

 

She doesn't actually have a chance to finish the thought though because she feels Holtz move again, lining herself up again before she pushes all the way back in and Erin's head  _ drops _ . 

 

Because Jesus, if it felt like Holtz was deep before this is something else. 

 

She's spread wider too, so it's even easier for Jillian to reach between her legs and start stroking with a firmer purpose as her hips start slow and start to move faster and faster. 

 

Erin's never considered herself a very sexual person but she thinks she might have to reassess that now because she glances up, watches Jillian biting her lip with a hand between her legs and the other on her hip drawing her down onto the toy, and it's the single most erotic thing Erin has ever seen. 

 

Their eyes catch in the reflection and it's like dry tinder catching a hot flame. 

 

She starts clenching low and Jillian's thumb swipes firmly over her again as their gazes lock and then she starts to _ fall _ . 

 

Her eyes flutter closed and her mouth falls open, and then she feels Jillian's teeth at her neck. 

 

“Open your eyes, baby. You wanted to  _ see _ .”

 

So she does, and it's  **beautiful** . 

 

She's flushed and holding herself together by a thread and it's an unexpected turn on to her herself like that, but the blonde behind her is something else. 

 

Holtz is bare but for a black lace bra, a special occasion piece that Erin had wanted to take off her the second she put it on, and Erin watches as the muscles in her arms strain with the effort to draw Erin's orgasm out as long as she can. 

 

Jillian's hair is half down around her shoulders and it brushes against Erin's neck as her lips move down along the line of her shoulder. 

 

Erin feels her release begin to tail off but the sight of Jillian at her back, combined with the way that she  _ hasn't stopped moving _ makes Erin come again, all at once. 

 

She can feel the smirk against her skin and she knows how damn pleased Holtz will be with herself but she can't begrudge her a damn thing, because her body feels like it's trying to turn itself inside out with pleasure. 

 

She pants as the final waves leave her, leaning up and against Jillian fully as the blonde's hands run up the line of her stomach and between her breasts. 

 

“God, you're good at that,” Erin says with a sigh as she shivers beneath the touch, her chest expanding deeply with her exaggerated breath. 

 

She tilts her head back, closing her eyes as Holtz holds them together, kissing Erin's neck lightly as she pulls out softly. 

 

She shudders at the loss, mourning it for all of a second before Jillian's lips pull at her earlobe. 

 

“You haven't seen anything yet,” Holtz says teasingly. “Do you think you could go a round two? I think the bedroom’s feeling a little left out.”

 

“Yes,” Erin replies, smiling without opening her eyes, her chest vibrating slightly against Jillian's with the low timbre of her voice. 

 

She's utterly exhausted now but she knows her body will react the second Holtz starts touching her with purpose again. 

 

Because it does. 

 

For Jillian, it always does. 

 

“Yes,” Erin moans, and Holtz smirks against her skin again, her mind already moving. 

 

_ Planning _ . 

 

“Take me to bed.”

  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say sorry for two strap-on chapters in a row, but I'm kind of not. And I don't think anyone will mind ;)
> 
> Let me know if you liked?
> 
> x


	10. dix.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tied up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> I'm almost finished another little Erin/Jillian adventure but for now, have some more smut. TopErin revenge smut to be specific, for those so inclined.
> 
> This is long too, so there's only one. I don't know how these snippets get so long? It's never my intention but they seem to have a life of their own. Your gain though, right?
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> x

-

  


**Twenty eight.**

Tied up again.

  


-

  


“So,” Erin says as she hovers over Jillian's hips. “It's occurred to me that I might be in the market for a spot of revenge.”

 

“Why on earth, pray-tell, do you feel that way Erin dearest?” Holtz asks with a cock of her head as her hands settle on either side of Erin's waist.

 

“Well,” Erin says with a smirk as she leans back, sitting upright. “Remember how you tied me to my desk and left me there for what was it? A couple of hours in total?”

 

“Erin….” Holtz says blanching a little.

 

“Yes, Jillian?” Erin asks angelically.

 

“I….”

 

“You what? Can't take what you give out?”

 

“No, I just….”

 

She's nervous, Erin realises with a shiver. Turned on, if the quiver in her body is anything to go by, but nervous.

 

Erin she leans down low then, flattening her body along the length of Holtz’s.

 

“You know this is one hundred percent your decision right, love?” Erin says softly, whispering in Jillian's ear. “And I'll stop as soon as you say if you need me to.”

 

She draws back, rolling her hips as she does and watches as Holtz sucks her lip between her teeth at the movement.

 

_She's making me work for it_ , Erin realises with a jolt as she watches Holtz's lip curl at the end in a smile, and Erin suspects Holtz was ready to jump as soon as she mentioned it.

 

Because she might be a little nervous, but Erin's almost sure Holtz has been dying to let Erin have her way with her for months now.

 

She _could_ call her out on it but something in Erin makes her want to play too.

 

“I promise I'll make it worth your while,” Erin purrs as she draws her finger down between Holtz's breasts, over the tee she had worn to bed. “Once I've given you a run for your money that is.”

 

“I'd like to see you try,” Holtz says, surging up to kiss Erin **hard**.

 

“Is that a yes?” Erin asks with a gasp and a raised eyebrow when they break apart, licking her lips.

 

Holtz nods dangerously, tantalisingly.

 

A clear challenge in her eyes.

 

And Erin draws it into her lungs like a vapour, her ribs creaking with the potential.

 

“Do your worst,” Holtz says with a wink as she rolls her hips up, both of them shuddering at the contact.

 

So Erin does.

  


-

  


The look on Jillian's face when Erin bends over the edges of the bed, picking up the cuffs secured under the mattress to the bed frame, is something Erin will never _ever_ forget.

 

“The very nice woman at the store I got these from told me padded leather is the best when it comes to reducing chafing,” Erin says as she pushes the tongue of the buckle through the hole in the leather as it wraps around Jillian’s wrists.

 

“So you should be able to pull as hard as you want, _baby_ ,” Erin says breathily, leaving down to nip at Jillian's bottom lip.

 

“Oh my god, you actually asked someone that?” Holtz says with a smirk in her eyes.

 

“Of course I did,” Erin says with a wry smile. “I have no idea what I'm doing Jillian, I wanted to be _prepared_.”

 

“Only you could make attention to detail and preparation sexy,” Holtz says with a grin, shivering when Erin takes her other wrist, moving it above her head and into the soft leather cuff.

 

“Please tell me you had one of your suit combos on when you went in and bought these,” Holtz says with a teasing lilt as she looks above her head when Erin finishes fixing the second restraint.

 

“Ok?” Erin asks, moving back a little so Holtz can pull testingly on the bonds. “Not too tight?”

 

“Perfect,” Holt purrs, wriggling down into the bed with Erin perched on her hips.

 

There's a beat, a pause between them before they both nod, acknowledging their joint consent before Holtz blows Erin a kiss and she blushes.

 

“By the way, I hope that's not you making fun of me,” Erin says flippantly, her voice casual still but the warning unmissable. “Because you'd only be giving me more reason to draw this out as long as I possibly can.”

 

“Draw what out?” Holtz says but Erin moves quicker than the breath down her body.

 

She moves smoothly to push Jillian's legs apart gently before her mouth closes over her with little ceremony or warning.

 

The blonde jumps beneath Erin's mouth but she recovers quickly, stilling when Erin's hands close around her hips to hold her steady against the bed.

 

“Jesus _Christ_ Erin,” Holtz gasps as Erin's tongue flattens against the length of her.

 

She smiles against Holtz, her tongue moving easily through a warmth that tells her Jillian is enjoying their little situation _a lot_ , in spite of the fact that Erin hasn't even really touched her yet.

 

She hums in approval and Holtz jumps again, pulling sharply at the restraints at her wrists hard enough that the bed frame creaks, so Erin pulls away.

 

“Easy, baby,” Erin purrs now, smoothing her thumbs over Holtz’s hipbones. “Or is this too fast?”

 

“No,” Holtz says, rolling her body up to follow Erin as she moves away. “No no no, just caught me off guard. Now, you were saying something about drawing this out? You've got your work cut out for you, Gilbert. I don't fancy bending easy tonight.”

 

She's trying to regain her position, Erin can tell, but if there's one goal she has for tonight beyond getting Jillian off it's taking that podium under her feet and turning it into quicksand with her tongue and hands and teeth.

 

“Is that a challenge?” Erin asks with a dangerous smile.

 

“One hundred percent,” Holtz says, levelling Erin with a look that tells Erin she's ready to play, _hard_.

 

She loves it when they're like this. When Erin decides to try their mantle of power on for size but Jillian's hands settle firm around the crown.

 

“Good,” Erin says sickly sweet and innocent. “Now, hold on _Jillian_. I think we're about to find out how strong this bedframe is.”

  


-

  


It's delicious the way Holtz writhes beneath her in the hours that follow, desperately trying to reconcile the desire to stay in control with the furious need pounding through her body.

 

And Erin's glad she had sprung for the pricier cuffs, even gladder that her bedframe is heavy and solid because the way Holtz is pulling at both would have bent anything weaker by now.

 

And if it was anyone weaker on top of her, they would have bent too.

 

And it's not that Holtz has asked or pleaded once, because she hasn't. But she's beautiful like this, wanton and flushed and open, and there's no way a weaker soul wouldn't have given into the half-bitten gasps or the breathy moans.

 

But not Erin.

 

Because this is her chance to play now, to have Jillian bare and wanting, and she's going to enjoy it as deeply as she can.

 

Holtz is holding true to form too though, wearing her stubbornness across her skin like armour and Erin wants to make it crack.

 

“You know this would be so much easier if you gave in, right? Erin whispers into the shell of Holtz’s ear as she leans low, grinding her hips down into the blonde’s.

 

“Never,” Holtz grits.

 

“But I'll make it so good,” Erin purrs. “ _So_ good.”

 

“You're not going to win tonight Gilbert. I won't have it.”

 

“You sure?” Erin says as her teeth close around an earlobe and pull. “Last chance?”

 

“You're going to have to do better than that,” Holtz bites out, desperately holding onto the moan that slips when Erin moves to the other ear.

 

“Careful Jill,” Erin says leaning back as she throws her hair over her shoulder. “I don't think you know what what you're asking for.”

 

“So show me,” Holtz pushes with a wink. “If you can.”

  


-

  


If Erin thought the sight of Holtz's eyes going wide at the sight of the cuffs before was satisfying, it's nothing on the look that crosses her face when Erin leans back to hover over Jillian's thighs as she slides her hand down the front of her own body.

 

It's mean, she knows it is, but it was the only thing Erin knew with an almost pure certainty would actually make Holtz break.

 

“Erin,” Holtz says shakily as Erin's hand drops beneath the band of her underwear. “What do you think you're doing?”

 

They're both still wearing their underwear, although the plain grey cotton of Holtz’s is a little askew thanks to the irregularity of her movements.  

 

“What does it look like I'm doing Jillian,” Erin moans, her fingers sliding easily over herself because _god_ she's wet. “It's called revenge, remember?”

 

Holtz actually growls then and the restraints thud heavily against the weight of the bedframe as Holtz tries to move hard towards Erin.

 

“I can't believe this is happening,” Holtz moans as she sinks back to the bed, her eyes not moving from Erin's hand moving harder and faster beneath her underwear. “Jesus Erin, you're going to kill me.”

 

“Give in yet?” Erin asks, gasping as her finger slides across her clit.

 

“ _Erin…_.” Holtz moans in return and Erin knows she's almost there, she's so close to giving in so Erin starts rolling her hips against her hand, putting on as much of a show as she can.

 

“You can have me whenever you want, Jill. Just say the word.”

 

Erin tips her head back then, her eyes fluttering closed as she drops her body a little, the back of her hand occasionally coming in contact with the flat of Jillian's stomach as she rolls against it.

 

She tips her head forward, eyes opening with a little gasp as she smiles wickedly before lowering herself onto her fingers.

 

The angle’s a little off but Erin knows Holtz can see what she's doing and as she shudders around her own fingers the shaking moves down and into Jillian's body, and it's _finally_ enough.

 

“Take these fucking cuffs off or I'm going to explode Erin,” Holtz growls.

 

“You sure?” Erin says with a desperate gasp as she pulls at the length of her fingers. “Do you really want me to stop? Or do you want to watch me come first?”

 

“Jesus Erin,” Holtz half-whines. “Come first, and then I'm going to make you come again and again and again until you can't take it anymore.”

 

“Promise?” Erin says with a smirk that falters because her fingers slide in again and hit a different part of her when Holtz pushes up with her body, knocking Erin's fingers deeper.

 

It catches her by surprise, her orgasm, stealing her breath with a throb that she feels smooth out along the line of her shoulders to run down her back between her legs.

 

She buckles, folding herself down along the length of Holtz's body as she draws out the last few waves of her release, shaking against the warmth beneath her.

 

“Erin, please,” Holtz whines once Erin catches her breath, peeling herself off the blonde, their skin both a little sticky with the heat of exertion.

 

“If I don't touch you soon I think I might die,” Holtz says with a growl, meeting Erin's lips for a bruising kiss when she lowers her head to offer one.

 

“God you're dramatic when you're turned on,” Erin says with a pant as she smirks, leaning up to pull at the tongue of the cuff. “You're sure?”

 

“No,” Holtz says suddenly, and Erin watches as something lights behind her skin.

 

“No?” Erin asks unsure.

 

“No,” Holtz says with a dangerous smile. “Well, undo one but leave the other done up.”

 

Erin's still frowning but Holtz gives her a wink, bucking her hips upwards.

 

“Trust me,” Jillian says, her eyes going soft.

 

And Erin does.

 

Entirely, wholeheartedly.

 

So she leans forward and pulls the metal tongue from the leather and Holtz's hand comes free.

 

The first thing she does is move her hand upwards to thread itself into Erin's hair and pull her down for what is possibly the dirtiest kiss Erin's ever had in her life.

 

“Jesus,” Erin moans as Holtz nips at her bottom lip as they break apart. “You're….”

 

“Very turned on? Yes, Erin. Well done,” Holtz quips as her hand moves down Erin's body as far as it can go, pulling her up Holtzmann’s body.

 

“What are you….?” Erin asks a little confused before something in her head ticks over and she understands.

 

Well, she thinks she does at least.

 

“You want me to….?” Erin asks, blushing deeply as Jillian's hand on her hip encourages her higher and higher up the blonde's body.

 

“Come higher so I can taste you?” Holtz says with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. “Well done Gilbert, I thought I was going to have to walk you there.”

 

“But….” Erin says a little unsure as her eyes flick back to the headboard. “Shouldn't I….?”

 

“Undo both hands? No need. I can give you a squeeze with this one if it gets too much, ok? Now hurry up and come here. You've been teasing me for hours and now it's my turn.”

 

She's more than a little nervous, the pulse of her orgasm taking her confidence with it as it drains out the ends of her fingers. And it's not that she doesn't think it'll be good, or that the idea isn't as hot as hell but she doesn't want to do anything Holtz won't like while she's above her.

 

“I can hear you thinking from here Erin,” Holtz says, her hand pausing on Erin's hip as her thumb strokes reassuring lines over the bone.

 

“You know I want this right? Like _really_ fucking badly. And you know you won't do anything to hurt me. The more you lose control while you're over my mouth, the better.”

 

“You're sure?” Erin asks tentatively.

 

“Positive,” Holtz says, her eyes lighting up like the sun. “Now, come here. I'm starving.”

  


-

  


It's unbelievable.

 

Easily one of the best sensations Erin's ever felt in her entire life and they have done a lot of living over the last few months together.

 

She starts off slow, tentative, barely hovering over Jillian's mouth before the blonde's free hand settles on Erin's hip and pulls her down firmly onto her mouth.

 

Erin folds immediately, her hands moving desperately for the headboard because god, it's so warm and wet and it's so different to Holtz’s mouth on her normally.

 

Jillian moans loudly the second Erin settles more of her weight down and the vibration runs through Erin's core, and it's almost enough to make her come on the spot.

 

“Holy shit, Jill,” Erin gasps, hanging on white knuckled to the bedframe as Holtz pushes her tongue around and then _in_.

 

Jillian’s free hand is pulling at her waist, holding Erin down as firmly as she can while the other rattles in the restraint above them, and the combination of different sounds and sensations is making Erin start to shake already.

 

It's not fair, she thinks with a pinprick of clarity when Holtz growls below her again, because she's about to make Erin come twice and this was supposed to be about _her_ , not Erin.

 

Her head tips back against the will of her brain then though, her hand falling from the bedhead to brace herself against the mattress because Holtz has started pulsing her tongue in and out and it's getting harder to hold herself upright.

 

She looks down though and smiles when she realises how far she can reach down Jillian's body.

 

Her hand slides down the length of Holtz's stomach as the smirk of realisation reaches her eyes, and Holtz's hand closes around Erin's hip sharply.

 

Erin moves off ever so slightly so she can hear Holtz speak as the blonde’s nails draw back from the skin, leaving little indents behind.

 

“What are you doing?” Holtz says roughly, her eyes flicking downwards.

 

“Making this fun for the both of us,” Erin says with a grin as her fingers slide under the warm cotton against hot _hot_ flesh. “This was supposed to be about you, remember?”

 

“Erin, _baby_ ,” Holtz says with a smile as she leans down, swiping her tongue through Erin again. “What makes you think I'm not having fun.”

 

“I know,” Erin says with a gasp, because she _does_. “But I want to do this together.”

 

“It's a little difficult to concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing when you're doing that though,” Holtz says before she bites her lip as Erin's fingers slip over her because she's _so_ wet.

 

“You're a great multi-tasker at work though?” Erin says with a smirk. “You're a smart girl, Jill. Surely you can expand that to more private activities too?”

 

“God, you're _such_ a top sometimes,” Holtz breathes out through gritted teeth. “Game on, Gilbert. Now, come back here. I'm going to take you to pieces.”

  


-

  


They both come a few short minutes later, Erin first, and then Holtz.

 

Their release is deep, **bone shaking** , and it's taken every muscle in Erin's body to keep herself upright over Jillian's mouth but _god_ , it's worth it.

 

Holtzmann’s nails bite into Erin's thigh when she feels Erin come over her, squeezing harder when Erin grinds down against her face, losing herself momentarily to the euphoria moving through her body.

 

Erin thinks that's what does it, that's what pushes the blonde over the edge, because Holtz groans when Erin pushes down, clenching around Erin's fingers and then she goes too.

 

Her release is longer than Erin's and it burns because the position isn't exactly comfortable with how far Erin's having to reach behind her but she keeps going anyway, sweeping her thumb out to brush over Holtz’s clit and she comes again, sharper, on top of the other.

 

The last wave crests and the blonde falls back against the bed beneath her, the breath leaving her body with a huff and Erin slumps against the headboard, hand holding tight as she tries to catch her breath too.

 

“I think we should win a prize,” Holtz says with a weak laugh as Erin moves to untie her other hand before laying beside her.

 

“A prize?”

 

“Yeah, a god-damn prize. Because that was some next level multitasking Er. Seriously. Those long fingers of yours do come in handy, huh?”

 

Erin blushes, which is ridiculous because a minute ago she'd been riding someone's face but she does anyway, and Holtz smiles as she reaches out to tuck a strand of Erin's hair behind her ear.

 

“You're so pretty when you blush,” Holtz says and it's soft enough but Erin can see something moving behind her eyes already.

 

“Jill….” Erin says carefully, her skin feeling warm and cold at the same time.

 

“Beautiful, even. _Breathtaking_ ,” Holtz says, rolling them to sit a top of Erin's hips. “I wonder how pretty you'd look even tied up….”

 

She shouldn't even be able to react because they've just finished after what feels like hours of touching, but she _wants,_ she _wants,_ she _wants_.

 

“What do you say, Erin?” Holtz asks, her voice silk smooth and soft. “My turn?”

 

“Yes,” Erin moans with her entire body as Jillian takes Erin’s wrists carefully in her own, moving them above their joint silhouettes.

 

“Yes, yes, yes.”

  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never knew I needed Erin in my life doing _that_ but now I have the visual I'm very glad the idea presented itself. Aren't you?
> 
> Oh, and I have a [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com/) too, come say hi if you're so inclined.
> 
> x


	11. onze.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes these come out as a nimble, snatched moment or slightly dirty struggle and other times they come out gentler than the dawn. 
> 
> This is definitely the latter.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> x

-

  
  


**Twenty nine.**

Light. 

  
  


-

  
  


It's a pleasant dream that rouses Erin one lazy Sunday morning. 

 

She dreams she's lying on a cloud or an infinitely soft bed and Jillian is kissing her way down her body, all long lines and bare skin. 

 

It's stunningly realistic she thinks to herself as Holtz's mouth closes around her nipple ever so softly, bringing it between her lips in a whisper soft kiss. 

 

She closes her eyes in the dream and opens them to a room of calming white walls and the soft beautiful purples and oranges of a gentle sunrise. 

 

And a very real Jillian Holtzmann tracking a  _ devastatingly _ gentle track down her stomach. 

 

“Good morning beautiful,” Holtz murmurs against her sleep warm skin, her voice rough from misuse. 

 

“Hi,” Erin half moans as she arches up into Jillian's touch. “God, I could get used to waking up like this.”

 

“Just say the word,” Holtz says with a smile. “Say the word and I'll do this every morning.”

 

“You'll get sick of me,” Erin gasps as Holtz kisses the dip inside the curve of her hip bone. 

 

Jillian sucks firm, bringing a blemish to the skin that echoes the colour of the walls around them and Erin tips her head back as she moans deeply. 

 

“In what world do you think I could  _ ever _ get sick of hearing sounds like that?” Holtz asks with a slightly breathless voice, her hands pushing Erin's loose tee higher up her stomach. 

 

It sounds reverent,  **beautiful** , and Erin gets lost in the bottomlessness of the desire in her voice. 

 

“You're sure?” Erin says, leaning up on her elbows to lock eyes with Holtz hovering over her body. 

 

“Yes,” Holtz breathes. “Let me show you.”

  
  


-

  
  


They take their time as often as they can but it's never as often as Erin would like, because life is hectic for them now they have this responsibility on their shoulders. 

 

And it's fine, because she'd take that burden every day if it means she saves just one little girl from the terror she knew growing up, but sometimes they have to take their pleasure quickly and it's weeks between slow heavy sessions like this. 

 

So when they do get them Erin gives her body and soul over to it and Jillian does too, and it feels like there's no one else in the whole damn world outside of the two of them. 

 

And that's exactly what this feels like now as Jillian peels her underwear down her legs  _ slow slow slow _ , kissing up the inside of Erin's calf and then thigh as she moves back up. 

 

Sometimes Erin likes it better with her eyes closed because she can feel so much more of Jillian like that, her senses narrowed, but this morning the light around them is breathtaking and it feels like it forms a part of the pleasure so Erin lets it in too. 

 

It's soft and lazy, like the feel of Jillian's lips moving low across her stomach, her hair tickling the tops of Erin's thighs and she arches up into the touch before Holtz eases her back down onto the bed with careful hands. 

 

“Easy,” Holtz says with a whisper. “I want to go slow. Do you think you can take that?” 

 

“Yes,” Erin says biting her lip as she looks down to Jillian. “I think so. I want it slow too. It feels like forever since we've had the time.”

 

“I know,” Holtz says, punctuating each word with a kiss. “Too long, Er. It's been  _ too long _ .”

 

“I was dreaming of you,” Erin admits as Holtz sweeps her palms out over the flesh of Erin's upper thighs, holding her down gently. 

 

“Really?” Holtz asks, lifting her head to watch Erin keenly. “What were you dreaming of?”

 

“This,” Erin gasps as Holtz blows a soft breath over Erin's core. “ _ Jesus _ , Jill.” 

 

“I was dreaming of you too,” Holtz admits as she presses kisses closer and closer but not close enough. 

 

“You were?” 

 

“Yes,” Holtz mumbles against Erin's skin. “Of all the things I've been wanting to do to you for the last two weeks but life keeps getting in the damn way.”

 

“There's no one but us here now,” Erin says breathily as Jillian hovers directly over where she needs her the most. “Show me. Show me what you've been dreaming of.”

  
  


-

  
  


Holtz moves so slowly it aches because it's  _ so fucking good, _ and Erin thinks she'd be almost screaming if she wasn't biting into the flesh of her palm. 

 

“Uh-uh,” Jillian says smirking as she watches Erin try and suppress the sound, leaning up to kiss the corner of her mouth. “I won those fair and square. I want to hear them.”

 

Holtz chooses this exact moment to push in fully with two fingers and starts to curl them, and the moan escapes without Erin able to smother so much as a decibel. 

 

“That's better,” Holtz says smiling against the length of Erin's neck as she leans in to place open mouth kisses around the blemishes she's already left on the skin. “I love it when you're loud, Erin. It's beautiful. I feel like I've won something you've never given another person.”

 

“I haven't,” Erin breathes, arching herself up into Holtz's body as it settles low against hers, her knee helping the thrust of her hand as it moves into Erin. “It's just you. I'm only ever loud for you.”

 

“Good,” Holtz says heavily and Erin feels a shiver run through her because she loves Jillian like this, all for her and wanting. Always wanting. 

 

“Tell me what else you only do for me,” Holtz whispers to the bend of Erin's throat. 

 

“Everything,” Erin says a little out of her mind as Jillian's fingers  _ push _ and  _ push _ and  _ push _ . “I give you everything. I  _ want _ to give you everything. I don’t want to hold anything back with you.”

 

“Good. Don't hold back now either, buttercup,” Holtz says as she takes Erin's earlobe between her teeth. “I want to hear it  _ all _ .”

  
  


-

  
  


Erin's first orgasm seems to take hours. 

 

She knows it's probably nowhere near that long because the pinks and oranges of the dawn still stretch long and dusky over the walls of their room but it feels like the most beautiful forever, and when she does come,  _ finally _ , it shakes their bones. 

 

Jillian is buried two fingers deep with her thumb brushing roughly over Erin’s clit and her mouth is sealed around the swell of her breast and Erin feels Holtz sigh along with her, even through the haze. 

 

Erin feels her fingers, strong and firm but delicate curl and pull, drawing it out and Erin down and she collapses with a gasp back onto the bed, Holtz between her thighs. 

 

“Jesus, I've been thinking about that for days,” Erin husks, her voice slightly muffled by the arm thrown over her face as she tries to catch her breath. 

 

“Let me know when you're ready,” Holtz says, leaning up on an elbow as she looks down at Erin with crystal blue eyes. “There's  _ so _ much more I've been dying to do to you too.”

 

“What about you,” Erin says, running her nails lightly up the outside of Holtz's arm. “What about everything I want to do to you.”

 

“Later,” Holtz says with a wicked grin. “I want you first. Please.”

 

“Tell me,” Erin pleads as her senses start to ebb back into her body. “Tell me what you've been thinking about.”

 

“God, what haven't I?” Holtz says with a laugh. “I've dreamt about having you like this, slow with my hands. And slow with my mouth. And in my lap with your arms round my shoulders, or pressing you down into the bed from behind.”

 

“Thank god you're a genius,” Erin says with a laugh. “Or we'd never get any work done.”

 

“Perks, right?” Holtz says with a smile. “Speaking of which, have I shown you how good I am with my hands tied behind my back?”

 

Erin just blanches, half in anticipation and half in longing because god, yes. She  _ knows _ . But she wants to  **feel** too. 

 

Holtz grins wickedly because she knows too. 

 

She leans down to whisper so  _ so _ soft into Erin's ear. 

 

“Shall I show you?”

  
  


-

  
  


Erin's covered in bruises and Jillian's back is littered in scratches by the time Erin finally rolls her on her back. 

 

The walls are throwing a different colour now, still quiet but the light is drifting in stronger through the half-closed blinds. 

 

Erin thinks absentmindedly that this is what she thinks heaven looks like as she pulls Jillian's singlet up and over her head, exposing milky pale skin that absorbs the fractions of light beautifully. 

 

“I think of you too, you know,” Erin says, drawing Jillian's mouth to hers as she sits in the blonde's lap. “All damn day.”

 

“Really?” Holtz says and she  _ knows _ , because Erin's told her a million times and she catches Erin staring from across the lab at least once a day but sometimes she likes Erin to tell her again. 

 

“Yes,” Erin says nipping at her neck. “I know you know I'm watching. Why else would you drop your tools so much just so you can bend over in front of me.”

 

“And here I thought I was being so sneaky,” Holtz says, smiling broadly as Erin's hand moves to thread in the hair at the base of her neck. 

 

“Oh yeah,” Erin says with a laugh. “ _ Really _ subtle, you are.”

 

“Maybe I just want to make sure you see me.”

 

“Of course I do,” Erin says with a beautifully soft smile. “Jill, I never see anything else.”

 

“What's your favourite thing?” Jillian gasps as Erin's hand tightens slightly, pulling her head back. 

 

“To do to you?” Erin asks curiously. “Hmmmm, I don't know. Taking my time, I think. Feeling you around my fingers, maybe. I can hold onto that feeling for  _ days _ .”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes,” Erin breathes. “For days. At the most inopportune times. When I'm supposed to be concentrating you look over to me and lick your lips and smile, and I can feel you so clearly. Like you're in my mind.”

 

“That must make it hard to keep your mind on work,” Holtz says with a smug grin. 

 

“It is,” Erin says agreeing as she pulls just a little harder. “Shall I show you, now?”

  
  


-

  
  


She knows Jillian loves having Erin in her lap but she loves taking Holtz like this too. 

 

They've switched positions so Erin's sitting on the bed with Holtz sitting up on her thighs, her knees wide and open for Erin and her short fingernails pressing hard into Erin's back. 

 

It's perfect for so many reasons. Because Erin can bring Jillian down so easily onto her waiting fingers, because she can pull a nipple into her mouth without having to stretch a muscle, but mostly because she can see  _ everything _ from here. 

 

She can watch Jillian claw and absorb the throes of pleasure Erin's pushing into her body, her eyes screwed shut and her mouth a little open. 

 

She can watch the way Holtz bites her lip, her teeth sinking in so insistently Erin worries she'll break the skin so she leans in and captures them in her own before Holtz has the chance. 

 

She can watch the way Jillian’s whole body expands with the breath she pulls raggedly from the heated air around them. 

 

But her favourite thing, the most beautiful thing to watch is the way she disappears into Jillian with every push of her hands. 

 

And she's not sure what it is that's so damn hot because she's never been that fussed with penetration before but god, watching Jillian  _ take her _ is like something from another world and she could watch it all fucking day. 

 

One of the things Holtz has taught her to do is enunciate her desires instead of holding them in, so she does, before she loses herself entirely to the sight. 

 

“God, I love watching you like this,” Erin groans against the heat of her flushed chest as Holtz gasps around her thrusts. 

 

“Like what?” Holtz moans as Erin curls her fingers and Jillian's nails bite a little harder. 

 

“Like this, you taking my fingers like this,” Erin says, pulling her eyes almost painfully away from her hand between the blonde's thighs. 

 

“You know I've never wanted  _ this _ . Like that. Before you. I never saw the appeal but, Jesus Erin, from the moment I saw your hands all I wanted was to feel your fingers inside me.”

 

“God, Jill,” Erin moans in response because the thought of that, of Holtz wanting that for so long before anything started up between them is making her wetter that the current situation is already accounting for. 

 

She watches, transfixed for long minutes at the sight between them, curling and pushing in time with the steady rock of Jillian's hips and christ, she could do this forever. 

 

She knows Holtz can't though, can feel her pushing against the pleasure Erin can feel build and flutter around her fingers so she leans in, taking an earlobe between her teeth. 

 

“Don't hold back, Jill. Take it. I want to hear you moan.”

 

She adjusts her fingers slightly as the words fall from between her lips, curling them as perfectly inside Holtz as she can as she thrusts home  _ hard _ and swipes roughly at her clit. 

 

Jillian comes with a choked gasp, the release catching her by surprise. She pushes down on Erin's hand as she draws Erin's fingers deeper and deeper with each wave of pleasure that rolls through her body. 

 

Her arms slide firmer around Erin's shoulders, clawing at her back as she loses herself to her orgasm, her head falling back baring her neck which Erin fixes her lips against without a seconds hesitation. 

 

She bites, not hard but not gentle either and feels Holtz shudder again and again as Erin claws  _ more, more, more  _ out of her. 

 

Erin's mouth softens when she feels the release leave the blonde, pulling herself away to admire the pinks and purples of dawn blooming across Jillian's neck. 

 

“Again?” Erin asks, her heart hammering for more as her fingers don't move from within Holtz. 

 

Not yet. 

 

“Yes,” Jillian groans, pulling Erin to her for a deep, dirty kiss that has her clenching around Erin's fingers again. 

 

The light in the room is quiet still, enough to light the curves of Jillian's neck and the swell of her breasts with a breathtaking softness and Erin just wants to moan with the poetry of it all. 

 

“Again,” Holtz says rocking against her fingers, a dangerous smile on her face. 

 

“ _ Again _ .”

  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the softer pieces I've written for this series but it's one of my favourites too (and I still think pretty damn hot). Thanks to lexluthr for the lovely idea that sparked this. Light was a beautiful muse.
> 
> I hope you all agree!
> 
> x
> 
> come by and say hi on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com/) if you'd like too.


	12. douze.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically make up sex and has a bit of Jillian being toppier and bossier than usual (at Erin's prompting, of course) so if that kind of thing isn't your bag, please steer clear.
> 
> Everyone that wants to stay, enjoy....
> 
> x

-

  


**Thirty.**

Sorry.

  


-

  


Erin rolls over in bed, her hands running out to move across cool sheets where there should be a warm body.

 

It's not their first argument. They've fought before, well squabbled more like, but this is the first time either of them had actually raised their voices and it had been _awful_.

 

And it doesn't matter who was in the wrong or even what it was about because that's redundant now.

 

The only thing that matters is that Erin's in their bed and Jillian's not, and Erin **hates** it.

 

She's cooled down now, the flush and anger faded from her fingertips and tongue but it doesn't feel better, Erin just feels remotely sick instead.

 

She's been waiting for Holtz to walk through their bedroom door with downcast eyes and a bend in her shoulders that says _I'm sorry_ and _I forgive you too_ but she hasn't.

 

She may well still be furious too but Erin suspects Holtz is just trying to give her space.

 

Because Erin's older, and she's slower to anger but slower to cool down too so Holtz is probably just trying to give them both as much room to breathe as she can.

 

And it's _thoughtful_ but laying in this bed alone feels awful and suffocating and Erin can't stand another second.

 

She throws the covers off herself, frowning at the chill of the room before she pads as quietly as she can out into the lounge where she's expecting to see Holtz curled up under a thick blanket.

 

The couch is empty though, the blanket bunched up at one end and Erin frowns at the lack of presence until she turns towards the kitchen to see Holtz walking towards her with two cups of tea in her hands.

 

They both stop dead in their tracks and Erin lets a tiny reluctant smile slide across her lips.

 

“Truce?” Holtz offers, extending a cup towards Erin as they both walk towards the couch.

 

“Truce,” Erin replies, accepting the drink with both hands.

 

They sit on the couch, closer than when they'd been arguing but further away than they normally would, and the room is silent as they both hold their breath, waiting for the other to speak.  

 

“I'm still pissed off at you,” Holtz says turning to Erin, tucking a long strand of hair behind her ear. “But I hate not sleeping next to you. It feels so….”

 

“Wrong?” Erin supplies with a frown. “I know what you mean. I'm still pissed at you too, you know.”

 

“Well what are we going to do about that?” Holtz asks, turning her body fully towards Erin's as she leans forward to set her cup down on the table.

 

“You tell me,” Erin says with a little bite, mirroring Holtz to do the same with her mug. “You're the genius of the operation, right?”

 

They'd called truce, sure, and while the sting has gone from Erin she knows they're both still running hot enough for another explosion if they don't do _something_.

 

She can feel Jillian trying to keep her breathing calm and even as she clenches her hands into the fabric of the couch, and Erin's about to open her mouth to set this fire alight so they can get this over and done with.

 

But then something in her _changes_ and she remembers that not every argument laced with emotion has to end in a verbal tiff.

 

Sometimes a resolution can be **physical** , too.

 

Jillian's quick, quicker than anyone Erin has ever had the pleasure of flexing her muscles with, mentally or physically, and she reads the thought in Erin's eye before it even completes in her own head.

 

They're lucky they put the cups down before because they'd be wearing them now if they hadn't.

 

They come together in a crash of lips and teeth and nails and half-cold fury and it's beautiful.

 

Holtz is quicker than her and stronger too, so it's with a breathless ease that she pins Erin down into the cushions of their couch a few seconds later.

 

“I'm still mad at you,” Holtz says as she pulls at the hem of Erin's shirt.

 

“I'm still mad at you too,” Erin says winding her fingers in Holtz's hair, pulling sharper than she'd intended to expose Jillian's neck for her teeth to settle in.

 

It's an accident, and she's about to apologise when the movement earns a deeper groan than she's heard from Holtz in a while, and Erin looks up in surprise.

 

“You liked that?” She asks, eyes alight as she watches Holtzmann's face keenly.

 

Holtz doesn't say anything, just looks down at Erin carefully, contemplating her next move.

 

Erin doesn't wait though, just repeats the movement a little softer, letting her nails scratch against the sensitive skin at the back of her scalp and Holtz shudders above her.

 

“Jillian _Holtzmann_ ,” Erin says with a smirk. “Never would have pegged you as a fan of hair-pulling.”

 

“Shut up,” Holtz says with a grin to match Erin's. “Unless you want me to see what I can find to match.”

 

“You won’t,” Erin says with a dangerous grin, loosening her hands to run them down the expanse of Jillian's back before settling over her ass and tugging.

 

It brings their hips together, Erin's leg sliding seamlessly between the blonde's as she pushes down from above, right where Erin _needs_ her.

 

She can hear Holtz thinking, running every simulation of every situation in her head in her head at a furious pace until she settles on the one that fits.

 

Erin saves her the trouble though, rolling up heavily bringing the heat of their bare skin together as she wraps her leg up and around Jillian's hip, holding her tight.

 

Challenging.

 

“If you think you can find something,” Erin says with a wicked smile, the anger ebbing away with each thump of her pulse. “ _Try_.”

  


-

  


They'll be covered in marks for the rest of the week but it'll be worth it.

 

Because passion makes this unbelievable but anger just adds an edge that turns them both savage enough to drop every single inhibition either of them have.

 

They pull and nip and scratch and Erin doesn't let a single apology fall from her lips because Holtz _knows_.

 

She knows that Erin's sorry and that Erin loves her and they don't need this, could have worked through their frustration with words and patience, but this is **fun**.

 

They're on the floor now, having rolled off the couch a half hour ago when Erin had tried to roll them over.

 

Holtz is pinning Erin down with her hands above her head as she coaxes the blood over her pulse point to the surface with her teeth.

 

“You're not going to find anything,” Erin says around a gasp as Holtz pushes forward with her thigh again. “You know everything, Jill. _Everything_.”

 

“I'll find something Er,” Holtz says smiling against the skin of her neck.

 

“I promise.”

  


-

  


She does damn her.

 

They stumble to the bedroom long minutes later, the softness of their bed calling to them after they realise just how bruised they'll be the next day if they surrender themselves to firmness of the floor, hard against their skin.

 

“I want the only marks on you to be from me,” Holtz says to her lips as she pulls Erin up. “And they're definitely not going to be if we stay here.”

 

“Couch?” Erin asks, desperate and hasty as she presses kiss after kiss to Jillian's mouth.

 

“Uh-uh,” Holtz says with a wicked grin. “I want room to move.”

 

It sends a shudder skittering down Erin's back and she positively trembles in anticipation as Holtz starts to walk them towards the bedroom, her front to Erin's back and her hands at Erin's hips.

 

Jillian's lips _kiss_ and _kiss_ and _kiss_ at the nape of Erin's neck as her hands draw Erin's hair away, and Erin's about to spin in the blonde's arms when they reach the foot of their bed but hands on her shoulders stop her.

 

“My way?” Holtz asks, whispering into her ear as her hands pick up the bottom of the tee Erin's still wearing.

 

“Yes,” Erin gasps as Jillian's hands skim up her sides, before she raises her arms to allow her top to be pulled off.

 

Holtz steps back, one hand on Erin's hip as the other runs down the length of her spine. Her hand comes to rest at the nape of Erin's neck before it moves again, this time putting a little pressure with the motion and Erin understands, bending forward onto the bed on all fours.

 

She shivers again, biting her lip half in anticipation and half in mild frustration because how had she _known_.

 

Because she's only ended up on her hands and knees a few times. Not enough she would have thought to give Holtz any substance to put two and two together, but she must have underestimated her because it's definitely a _thing_ for Erin.

 

And Holtz definitely knows this too, apparently.

 

“How did you….?” Erin asks unbelieving.

 

“I didn't,” Holtz says smugly. “I do now, though.”

 

“Fuck you,” Erin says with a bite, turning to glare at Holtz over her shoulder.

 

“No,” Holtz says with a wicked grin. “Fuck you. If you'd like, of course.”

 

And Erin grits her teeth because she's still fucking mad but she bites her tongue for now, because she'll have her chance to have her own way.

 

Soon enough.

 

And then Erin smiles, an idea blossoming in her mind like the blush across her chest.

 

“Please,” she says supplicating, lowering her head and moving backwards towards Holtz.

 

She's not sure the blonde picks it up at first because she doesn't move or say anything but then Erin hears a carefully measured exhale and her short nails tighten around one of Erin's hips.

 

_Oh_ , she knows alright.

 

“God I love it when you bend for me,” Holtz says shakily, leaning down low against Erin's back. “Should I get….”

 

“No,” Erin says shaking her head but not looking up. “You. I just want you.”

 

Erin feels Holtz shudder above her as she coaxes Erin forward on the bed, crawling on all fours to make room for Holtz to kneel on the mattress behind her.

 

“Good,” Holtz says with a growl behind her. “Because fucking you like that is delicious Erin, but I miss feeling it. I miss feeling you pull at my fingers when it's the toy and not me.”

 

She moves closer to Erin, her thighs coming to rest against Erin's as she leans low over Erin's back, her hands coming to rest on top of Erin's where they grip the blankets.

 

“You're going to want to hold on, I think,” Holtz says, and Erin can hear the smirk in her voice.

 

She nips at Erin's neck on her way back up before Erin feels her come vertical and she slides her fingers under the edge of Erin's underwear.

 

“Think it's about time I took these off, don't you? They must be _ruined_ by now.”

 

She's not half wrong, Erin thinks begrudgingly, she can feel how ready she is without even having to bring her legs together.

 

And part of her wants to squeeze her thighs close because she knows how fucking smug Jillian is going to be when she finds out but the other part, the part that's almost falling apart at the seams doesn't fucking care as long as Jillian touches her.

 

Holtz’s fingers pause before they drag them down Erin's legs though, her voice softening for a second as she leans low again.

 

“Ok?” Holtz asks softly, her thumb drawing a soft circle on the skin beneath.

 

“Please,” Erin says, her head dropping like a weight. “ _Please_ , Jill.”

 

“Atta-girl,” Holtz says low, bending back up to drag them with a tortuous, almost dirty slowness down Erin's legs, encouraging her knees up one at a time so she can pull them off completely.

 

“Oh, Erin,” Jillian says with a groan, drawing her fingertips up the inside of Erin's thigh from the knee up.

 

Erin's arms go weak when she feels the blonde come into contact with wetness much lower that she would do ordinarily, the evidence of their foreplay there for Holtz to see as easily as the skin of her back.

 

“You want this bad, huh?”

 

“Yes,” Erin moans, biting her own bicep to stop from moving back against Holtz's hand.

 

“Less or more because I've got you on your knees?”

 

“More,” Erin says with a groan. “ _More_.”

 

“God,” Holtz whispers as she moves her fingers whisper soft between Erin's legs, enough to skirt the wetness but not enough to make meaningful contact and Erin groans in frustration. “You're _so wet_ Erin. _Jesus_.”

 

“You've only got yourself to blame,” Erin bites out as she sinks her teeth into her own forearm to stop herself doing something else.

 

“Do you think I'm much better off,” Holtz husks as her fingers move again, still too light. “God, Erin you've got no idea what having you like this does to me.”

 

“Let me taste then,” Erin says, coming up off all fours to lean her back to Jillian's front.

 

In possibly the single dirtiest move of her entire life Erin slides her hand behind her, down and beneath Jillian's underwear and she gasps when she registers just how wet the blonde is too.

 

“Fuck, Jillian,” Erin says as they both buckle together, Holtz under the pressure of Erin's hand and Erin at how _easy_ it is to move against her.

 

Erin drags her hand through Jillian, dipping her fingers teasingly into her ever so slightly before drawing back.

 

Holtz moans loud, her teeth closing around Erin's shoulder as Erin brings her hand up and to her mouth.

 

She doesn't do this often, saves it for moments she really wants to hurl Holtz headfirst into the fire and set them both alight.

 

And it works, because Holtz growls and her teeth bite harder into Erin's shoulder as she sucks her fingers clean before pushing her ass back into Holtz's hips and falling forward on all fours again.

 

“Jesus Christ, Erin,” Holtz moans as she runs her hand up the length of Erin's spine. “Do you think that helped?”

 

“No,” Erin says trying to hide the smirk in her voice because if Holtz picks up on it, she's in serious trouble. “But I wanted a taste.”

 

It doesn't work at all but really Erin hadn't even tried, because Jillian might have Erin on her knees but Erin still wants _more_.

 

She wants to draw out that other side of Holtz, the one that only comes when Erin calls her. When Erin **begs** for her.

 

And she senses the exact moment Jillian understands because the rigidity of her body _changes_.

 

Holtz leans low over her body again whispers words that make Erin shiver.

 

“Do you want _this_?” Holtz asks her quietly, softly, her hand tightening in Erin's hair as she runs her fingers through it.

 

“Yes,” Erin hisses, pushing back into Jillian's touch to show her confirmation. “Please.”

 

The blonde doesn't say anything at first, her hand loosening against Erin's scalp as she leans down to place a few careful kisses against Erin's back.

 

And then Erin feels the temperature in the room drop and rise at the same time.

 

“As much as I enjoyed that,” Holtz purrs into Erin's ear. “You move off your hands and knees again and I'll drag this out until you beg me to let you come, ok?”

 

“Yes,” Erin says with a moan that moves through her entire body, down to her core that clenches under Holtz’s soft but sudden touch.

 

Yes, Erin thinks with an internal moan that's louder. Show me that animal in your chest, love. I want to feel it's claws down my back.

 

“Good,” Holtz says with a punctuated slide of her hand, pushing easily inside Erin with two fingers, slow but firm.

 

“Because I want to take you to pieces on all fours, Erin. Won't that be _fun_?”

  


-

  


It truly is something else, having Holtz take her from behind like this.

 

There's something intrinsically animalistic and dirty, but so heavy with trust too that just makes Erin clench around Jillian's fingers.

 

Part of her wishes she'd said yes to their added appendage because that would have blown this into the stars but Holtz is right, there's something special about feeling her move and react around the pull of Erin's body and the way she positively groans when Erin pulls _hard_ with her core.

 

Jillian is up on her knees behind Erin, one hand firm on Erin's hip and the other buried knuckle deep inside her pushing up as her other hand pulls Erin down.

 

Holtz is moving fast now, relentless and unforgiving, and Erin feels like the atoms in her body are _barely_ holding themselves together, shaking wildly around the thrust of Jillian's hand.

 

It must look wonderfully explicit because it feels it, and Erin doesn't bother to smother the moans and sharp gasps that keep falling from between her lips.

 

It's not often that she can come from penetration alone but the sensation of Jillian's hand on her hips and her bare legs brushing up against the back of Erin's thighs and her ass is walking her up to the edge on tip toes, and Erin knows it's not going to take much more.

 

“God Erin,” Holtz groans as she curls her fingers and Erin's body buckles beneath hers. “I don't think I've ever had you so wet before.”

 

Erin knows it's on the tip of her tongue, that she wants to ask what Erin _needs_ , but that isn't how Erin wants this to work.

 

She wants Holtz to know. And to take.

 

And she knows Holtz wants that too.

 

She feels Jillian take the question back from the edges of her fingers and starts driving them harder, curling them on the inward stroke and Erin starts to _flutter_.

 

Her head drops again and she starts driving her own hips backwards into Jillian's hand, screwing her own up in the fabric of the blanket to gain some kind of purchase to push back against.

 

Jillian moans at the change in Erin, the desperation, and her hand splays wide at Erin's hip, pulling harder too as her fingers continue to move.

 

It's not quite enough though, and Erin wants to ask for more, just a little more but when she turns her head to ask, to plead, Holtz is already there reading her fucking mind and she slides a third finger in so easily Erin feels her arms go weak.

 

Three is normally fine but they feel like so much more from behind and Erin feels so full, finally, like there isn't a breath of space between her and Holtz's fingers and she feels her release bloom like a flower in her chest.

 

It hits her heavy and low like everything else they've done to get here and it rolls from her core outwards, shaking her entire body.

 

She expects Jillian to slow, to begin to draw her down from her orgasm but she doesn't.

 

She keeps pushing instead, not easing for a moment and Erin's mouth falls open in a silent scream because god, it's _incredible_.

 

She's never had anyone inside her like this during an orgasm before and it's otherworldly.

 

Because Jillian's fingers give her a point to focus on as she feels her whole body draw itself around that one single epicentre, rolling and pulling around three strong fingers and it seems to last forever.

 

Her breath leaves her body before Holtz feels it slow and Erin feels her fingers start to ease her down, finally.

 

Erin collapses onto the bed in front of her, stomach down, her arms like jelly and her heart pounding in her chest and she feels Holtz drape herself softly over her back, half laying on top of her.

 

She presses soft kisses to Erin's shoulders and back as Erin closes her eyes and gives herself over to the exhaustion that follows such a heavy release.

 

“You ok there?” Holtz asks gently, kissing her neck softly.

 

“No,” Erin says with a puff of breath. “I think I've died and gone to heaven. Maybe we should piss each other off more often if that's what happens after.”

 

“You know I'd do that to you any day, right?” Holtz says with a laugh. “I’d literally drop whatever I was doing if you wanted me.”

 

“Really?” Erin asks, rolling her ass ever so slightly up and back into Jillian's pelvis. “Like _that_ , though?”

 

“What?” Holtz asks, lowly. Dangerously. “Rough? Me taking you like this?”

 

She nods, not that she needs to because they both know **exactly** what she means.

 

She's glad for a second that Holtz can't see her face because it flushes red with more than exertion, and she doesn't need to set eyes on Jillian to know how smug she looks either.

 

“Oh buttercup,” Holtz purrs in her ear, rolling her hips down into Erin's again. “All you have to do is _ask_.”

  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Ice cold water, anyone? Seat in hell next to mine?
> 
> If you'd like pop by and say hi on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com/) too.
> 
> x


	13. treize.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I slipped and wrote another totally unintended Top!ish-Erin piece? Which really is so unusual because I'm such a sap for Top!Holtz?
> 
> I initially did this to try and get back into Jillian's head since I seem to default to Erin so easily and it came out with Top!Erin because apparently I can't help but write that way round? (read nothing into how I insert myself into the POV character...)
> 
> Anyway, enough babble.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> x

-

  


**Thirty one.**

Birthday.

  


-

  


“You could have had anything for your birthday, you're sure this is all you want?” Erin asks, her arms draped around Jillian's shoulders.

 

“You and me, a night to ourselves, wine and a massage? What part of that doesn't sound like heaven to you?” Holtz says with a smirk.

 

“True,” Erin says, shrugging loosely beneath Holtz’s arms. “But still….”

 

“You did leave one thing out….” Holtz says with a sly grin. “Is that because you don't want….”

 

“Oh no,” Erin says with a grin of her own. “I do. I just have a little plan….”

 

“A plan, you say?” Holtz says with a smirk. “Pray, tell?”

 

“Nope,” Erin says shaking her head. “Not a chance.”

 

“But it's my….” Holtz starts but Erin's quicker, pressing a kiss to her lips that silences her immediately.

 

It turns hot _fast_ , and Jillian's pulse is thumping like a stampede in her chest when Erin pulls away.

 

“Bed,” Erin says with heavy hooded eyes. “ _Now_.”

  


-

  


Honestly, Jillian's never really been one for massages. She has always sought a very particular kind of touch for her own pleasure but this is _Erin_ so Holtz shouldn't be surprised that she's a fucking maestro.

 

She's lying face down on their bed, bare on top but still wearing a pair of plain cotton bottoms and Erin's perched on her ass, straddling her hips as her fingers weave in and around the knotted muscles of her back.

 

And yeah, she didn't think she was one for massages but Erin's fingers are long and strong and she's biting her lip now to stop the moans but it's getting **harder** and **harder**.

 

Erin's fingers slide between a particularly big knot and Holtz can't help herself then, the moan falling from her lips unbidden.

 

Erin doesn't say anything but Holtz can hear the smile through the soft quiet of the room as her fingers sweep broader on the next movement, and Holtz can feel herself growing wetter and wetter in response.

 

And it doesn't help that Erin's wearing deep plum coloured lingerie as she sits half naked on top of Holtz, the inside of her bare thighs touching the outside of Jillian's.

 

The same colour as the lipstick she sometimes wears when they go out that Holtz can never resist kissing off her lips and tracking all over her neck at the end of the night.

 

“It's your birthday,” Erin had said with a not at all innocent shrug as she'd slipped her own shirt from her shoulders while Holtz had watched from the bed. “What, was I not supposed to get dressed up?”

 

This Erin, _bold_ Erin who hides burgundy coloured lace beneath starched white shirts is Jillian's favourite, makes her mouth water, and it's becoming increasingly more difficult not to flip and pin Erin down and take everything that she will give.

 

“I'd say you're tense but that feels too cliché,” Erin says with a low rumble above her. “How are you doing down there, birthday girl?”

 

“Peachy,” Holtz says, prying her teeth out of the meat of her palm to speak.

 

“Good,” Erin says softly, her hands moving down Holtz’s back, _low low low_ over her ass before her fingers brush high at the inside of her thighs. High enough to feel….

 

“Jesus Jill,” Erin says gasping when she takes her hand away, slick with more than massage oil now.

 

“What did you expect?” Holtz asks with a moan as Erin's hands move up slightly but not far, kneading her ass. “I have a beautiful half naked woman sitting on me giving me the best massage of my life.”

 

“Not this much,” Erin says heavily. “Not yet.”

 

Holtz can hear Erin thinking above her, moving, re-evaluating, ever agile, and she's almost ready to roll them and take matters into her own hands when she feels Erin's fingers fall more heavily between her legs.

 

_Oh_ , Holtz thinks.

 

_That's_ how it's going to go.

 

If Jillian Holtzmann has learned anything about Erin Gilbert that surprised her more than anything else, it's that she's a grade-A tease. So while her fingers move more purposefully between Holtz’s legs for a second, before she knows it they're gone again, moving up her back.

 

She draws in a huge breath while she can and she's about to relax into Erin's touch again when her damn hands dip low.

 

They're firmer this time, the intent clear, so the moan she takes from Jillian is a different kind of pleasure all together.

 

And try as she might, there's nothing she can do to stop the jump of her hips up into Erin's hands either.

 

Erin is firm above her though, _reassuring_ , pushing gently down against Jillian's pelvis as she leans in low.

 

“Still with me?”

 

“Barely.”

 

“Can I….?”

 

“ _God_ , yes.”

 

Erin's hands move so easily over her lower back, covered in an oil Holtz had noted was specifically for _this_ type of massage, and she swallows thickly because maybe this had been Erin's plan all along.

 

She doesn't have a tremendous amount of time for freethought though, because the next second Erin dips low and teases her entrance and the only thing that matters is her beautifully expressive fingers and the _ease_ with which they slip inside.

  


-

  


The massage oil may be the best present Jillian receives this year outside of _Erin Erin Erin,_ because there's something wonderful in the way it allows them to move against each other.

 

And they'll probably need to throw out the linen, but it'll be worth it.

 

_God_ it’ll be worth it.

 

Because Erin's hands move firm up the inside of her leg, sliding between the lines of her thighs before they soften and stroke long, equally enticing lines where Holtz **needs** her.

 

That's how Erin starts, alternating between massaging and _massaging_ before Holtz’s need becomes overwhelming and her whimpers finally drive Erin to focus.

 

Erin scoots down Jillian's body a little so she's straddling the blonde’s upper thighs before she moves her hands down along Jillian's sides before settling on her hips and pulling gently, encouraging Holtz to raise up just enough for her to comfortably get her hand under the front of Jillian’s hips.

 

It spreads her ever so slightly too, meaning it's that much easier for Erin to - _oh god_ \- slip inside and start thrusting as the other hand kneads the flesh of her ass.

 

“Jesus Erin,” she bites as Erin's long _long_ fingers push in two wide and stretch her.

 

It's tight because her legs are restricted by Erin's thighs and she's not splayed as wide as she normally would be, but **god** it’s good too.

 

“Too much?” Erin asks, pausing immediately as both hands cease their separate ministrations.

 

“No,” Holtz says groaning against her forearm. “No, god I just feels so full. Good but full.”

 

“It feels it,” Erin husks above her. “You feel so tight. God it's incredible Jill. Are you sure you're….”

 

“Yes,” Holtz moans, pushing herself back onto Erin's fingers properly, her mouth falling open in a gasp. “Yes. _Please_.”

 

“You're the birthday girl,” Erin says by way of acceptance and Holtz can hear the smile in her voice as she speaks and Jillian knows she's enjoying this, having her on her stomach like this.

 

Erin starts moving again, slowly, _gently_ but still with two fingers as her other hand rests on Holtz’s hip and leads, easing Holtz back onto her fingers.

 

“God Erin,” Holtz moans low, growling against the linen between her teeth. “When did you become such a top.”

 

“No idea,” Erin says wickedly, curling her fingers as she speaks. “Must have had a terrible influence show me the ropes or something.”

 

There's not a lot of room but Erin makes it work beautifully, slowing her thrusts but making them deeper and Holtz feels the reach inside hit further than she ever remembers Erin going before.

 

And the oil, **god** , the oil just makes everything better.

 

Because Erin's hands move so seamlessly up the length of her thighs when she does draw her fingers away, over the inside of soft, _soft_ skin before they bury themselves knuckle deep again and again.

 

Erin is a fucking expert, keeps the sensation varied and inconsistent and it keeps Jillian's body tightly on edge, like her fingers are dancing across the top of a battery as someone flicks the power on and off, the pleasure hitting her unexpectedly and suddenly.

 

“Christ, you're good at this,” Holtz moans, her whole body clenched as she waits for Erin to choose her pleasure point again.

 

“What can I say,” Erin says wickedly as she dips her fingers in, teasing at Jillian's entrance again. “I've had a good teacher.”

 

“Holy….” Holtz starts but she loses the thought to a gasp as Erin pushes in again.

 

Normally she can take as much teasing as Erin is willing to give, shifting the competitiveness between them like a ball of power, but there's something about tonight that just makes her want Erin to take, and not tease.

 

“I don't know how much more I can take Er,” Holtz gasps, her cheeks flushing at the admission.

 

And sometimes Erin will pull at her wrists in the moment of submission, draw it out and torture them both with it but she can sense how much Holtz needs her too, so she reassures instead.

 

“It's ok baby,” Erin says, her voice barely above a whisper at Jillian's ear. “It's ok. I've got you.”

 

She moves more determinately then, her fingers teasing and then stretching, and Jillian's mouth opens with an inaudible gasp because _Jesus_ Erin is incredible when she puts her mind and her fingers to a task.

 

Erin strokes long and deep, changing between two fingers and three, using the spare to brush against the blonde's clit roughly when she pushes in, still using the other hand to lead Holtz back and onto her other hand.

 

Jillian's not sure what does it actually; the kisses to the back of her neck, the hand that draws her so deliciously back onto Erin's hand, the sensation of fullness, or the oil on their skin, but she feels the rumble start low in her belly only a minute or so after Erin starts pushing _harder_.

 

Erin senses the change immediately, takes note of the way Jillian starts to tremble around and beneath her and she _pushes pushes pushes_ Holtz over the edge.

 

“That's it,” Erin says, whisper soft. “Let go.”

 

It's probably the most overwhelming orgasm of her life, catching in her throat and stalling her breath with a iron-tight grip.

 

Her whole body tenses and then she hears Erin's soft, strong words at her ear and then she releases, and _drops_.

 

And Erin's there, leading her, coaxing out the waves that ripple through her body for as long as they can both manage before she just collapses, boneless onto the bed.

 

“Jesus Christ, Erin,” Holtz gasps out after a few minutes, small tingles moving through her body as Erin draws her hand soothingly over the small of her back.

 

“Happy birthday, Jill,” Erin says with a small laugh as her fingers move up and down Holtz’s spine again.

 

“Happy damn birthday to me,” Holtz says with a low growl as she rolls onto her back, Erin accommodating the movement by shifting higher up on her knees.

 

“Now,” Holtz says, a wicked grin crossing her face as she lifts her hands to hold Erin to her by her hips. “I think it's my turn, don’t you Dr Gilbert? And I think you need to feel the merits of this massage oil, yourself.”

  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this for my own birthday (or on my own birthday, I can't remember?) which has long since come and gone, but I hope you all enjoyed ;)
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com/) if you'd like?
> 
> x


	14. quatorze.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll have you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So remember how I said TopHoltz was my favourite? Well I've slipped and written another very ToppyErin piece.
> 
> Whoops?
> 
> I just wanted to write this reverse so badly and the only way was to make Erin top, hard, so here we have it. 
> 
> Enjoy? 
> 
> x

-

  


**Thirty two.**

I’ll have you.

  


-

  


“Come on Erin, it was a tiny slip.”

 

“Doesn't matter.”

 

“But….”

 

“No buts _baby_. What would you do if the situation was reversed, hmmm?”

 

“Call you on it,” Holtz mumbles.

 

“I'm sorry, Jill. I didn't quite hear that?”

 

“Call you on it,” Holtz says, louder and clearer.

 

“Excellent,” Erin says with a dangerous grin on her face.

 

“Don't get too carried away,” Holtz warns. “What goes around comes back to bite you in the ass, remember?”

 

“Literally, I hope,” Erin says with a wink that brings Holtz up short. “Don't worry, it's not tonight's problem. I'll give you all day tomorrow to think on your mistake. We can settle the matter tomorrow night.”

  


-

  


She knows it's mean but honestly, Erin just can't resist. Because she never catches Holtz on the back foot like this, ever.

 

And it's not a one-up attitude with them, because neither of them ever seek to better each other in a way that's anything other than healthy but she knows that deep down Jillian loves being caught like this, part of Erin even wonders if she'd done it on purpose just to get caught because she's so fucking careful normally.

 

It doesn't matter though, because this is _much_ more fun and while Erin normally prefers to bow, sometimes there's something in being the one with a hand at the others back encouraging them _over_.

 

She knows Holtz has been distracted all day because she's burned herself twice before one in the afternoon and come four she calls it a day, sucking a finger into her mouth as she nurses another wound.

 

“Again?” Erin asks with a frown. “You need to be more careful, Jill. Here….”

 

She takes Holtz’s finger from her then sucking it into her mouth, swirling her tongue round the digit as hotly as she can manage.

 

“Better?” Erin asks suggestively as she releases the blonde's finger with a pop.

 

“Not at all,” Holtz says gulping. “Much, _much_ worse.”

 

“Maybe you should go home,” Erin says with a kindness that's laced with a little more lust than normal. “Curl up in bed until I get home, hmmm?”

 

“Sure,” Holtz says with an increasingly wary look. “If that's what you _think_ I should do?”

 

“It is,” Erin says nodding. “It definitely is. I'll see you soon? I just need to pick something up on the way home.”

 

“Is it….?” Holtz starts before Erin shakes her head, stopping her mid sentence.

 

“Uh-uh,” Erin says leaning in to whisper in her ear. “That would be telling now wouldn't it.”

 

“Do you want me to do anything….?” Holtz asks, running her fingers up the outside of Erin's arm teasingly. Because two can play at this game, and she's never been one to roll over to Erin completely and without a fight.

 

“Nope,” Erin says easily, matching Jillian's tone. “I want to do everything myself. Just wait for me. Think you can manage that?”

 

She pulls Holtz’s earlobe between her teeth as she draws away slowly and she watches as Holtz bites her lip to stop from moaning.

 

“See you soon, _love_ ,” Erin says, squeezing the blonde's ass on the way past.

 

She's not sure if Jillian means for her to hear but she does regardless, mumbling a few metres away from Erin as she walks towards the door.

 

“She's going to kill you, Holtzmann. What on earth have you gotten yourself into?”

  


-

  


Erin makes sure to take just enough time getting home that she knows would make her start to sweat if she were the one waiting.

 

She makes a stop at the store she's been nervously looking forward to visiting all day and leaves with a blush across her cheeks and two new purchases, wrapped carefully in black tissue paper.

 

Jillian's waiting for her when she gets home, sitting at the table tapping a pen nervously as she scribbles around the edges of a half-finished crossword.

 

“Thank god,” Holtz says, sighing in obvious relief when Erin walks through the door.

 

She's up and walking towards Erin before she sets her keys down on the table by the door, pulling the bags helpfully out of Erin's hands.

 

“Hi,” Erin says stopping Holtz with soft hands threaded into the front of her tee. “Not anxious are we?”

 

“Not at all,” Holtz says flatly, in clear contrast to the obvious thrum running through her body.

 

“Sorry I took so long,” Erin says, not sounding the least bit sorry. “Had to pick up a few things for tonight.”

 

Holtz freezes beneath her hands then, looking nervously into the bags she's just taken off Erin.

 

“Uh-uh,” Erin says shaking her head. “No peeking. Not yet. Besides, those are for me tonight. Not you.”

 

She can see the questions shift across Jillian's face, can pinpoint the exact moment she settles on what she thinks Erin's insinuating.

 

“What do you mean?” Holtz asks carefully.

 

“I mean my plans for you tonight involve nothing but you lying on your back,” Erin says casually. “Or your front. Or on your knees….”

 

“Erin….” Holtz says slowly, the realisation fully settling in.

 

“Yes, Jillian?” Erin says, the picture of innocence.

 

“What's in the bag?”

 

“Don't worry about that now,” Erin says calmly, running her hands up and down Jillian's arms soothingly as she eases the bags out of Holtz's hands. “Just relax, ok.”

 

Holtz laughs, a little half-bark that says _how the hell am I supposed to relax when I think I know what's waiting for me in that bag,_ but Erin smiles wicked and low and pulls her in for a kiss that Erin hopes will damn near stop her heart.

 

It does, if the gasp that leaves Jillian's lips when she pulls away is anything to go by.

 

“Jesus, Erin,” Holtz says, shivering as Erin pulls away.

 

“You haven't seen anything yet,” Erin says with a glint in her eye that matches the fluttering in her chest. “Now, be a dear and go wait in the bedroom for me, will you? As you are on the end of the bed will do.”

 

She watches as Jillian's eyes visibly darken and she chances one last glance down into the bag that is, thankfully, still held closed by a thread of ribbon the shop assistant had fastened delicately around the top.

 

“Jill,” Erin says, harder this time. Warningly.

 

Holtz doesn't say anything, just bites her lip as she moves backwards towards the bedroom, her eyes not leaving the bag for a second.

 

Yes, Erin thinks to herself as she pulls the sleek new harness out of the bag before she steps into the bathroom quietly.

 

This is going to play out just as she planned.

  


-

  


She half expects Holtz to throw a spanner in the works because she never just _submits_ but Erin's pleasantly surprised to find her perched on the end of the bed, fully clothed as requested, waiting for her.

 

The slacks she's got on aren't _tight_ tight but they're not loose either, and Jillian's eyes find the bulge in the front of them almost immediately as her eyes rake down Erin's body as walks towards the end of the bed.

 

She's not normally like this, **bold** , but the thickness pressing against the seam of her pants is making her brave, and the glassy look on Jillian's face isn't hurting either, so there's a dip and sway in her hips that isn't normally there as she closes the distance between them.

 

“That's not what I think it is?” Holtz asks, pulling Erin to her by the loops of her pants once she's within arms length. “Is it?”

 

“Depends,” Erin says silkily. “What do you think it is?”

 

Holtz stands then, dragging the flat of her upturned palms _up up up_ Erin's thighs, brushing past the length before she stands straight, her hands hanging placidly by her sides, waiting.

 

“I think,” Holz says, her eyes black but her voice a little wavery. Nerves, Erin thinks. Or maybe just desire.

 

“I think it's something that I normally do to you because we both know you can take it a little easier.”

 

Ah, Erin thinks almost grinning. Nerves it is then.

 

“What if I told you it was just that but I stopped and picked up something a bit more delicate. A better _fit_. What would you say then, Jillian?”

 

“I'd say this is your rodeo, baby. I'm just along for the ride,” Holtz says, a pretty blush sweeping across her cheeks.

 

The tension in the room is heavy now, heavier than normal because Jillian is nervous but she's excited too, Erin can tell.

 

“I may be leading tonight,” Erin says, softening for a moment as she runs her hand along the outside of Holtz's arms before picking them up and placing them over her shoulders. “But this is for both of us Jill, if you don't want….I mean if it doesn't make you feel good then we don't have to.”

 

“I do,” Holtz says quickly, nodding. “I really, really do. Jesus Erin, if you could feel what you having that on already does to me….”

 

“I'll go slow,” Erin says leaning in to brush her lips softly against Jillian's as she speaks. “I just wanted you to have a reminder tomorrow. One that no one else can see but we'll both know is there.”

 

Erin pulls back and watches as Holtz's eyes go wide then, blow black with lust and Erin knows she's in now.

 

“So every time I sit down, or cross my legs….” Holtz says quietly, moving forward to run her hands down Erin's arms.

 

“You'll feel me. What we did tonight. What I'll _do_ tonight,” Erin says, winding their fingers together when Jillian's hands fit into hers.

 

Erin feels a shiver snake it's way through Jillian's body, down into her palms where their hands touch and she moves forward, pushing herself against the bulge at Erin's crotch.

 

“I never thought I'd ever want to be on this end, you know?” Holtz says with a smirk. “You're a hell of a saleswoman, Gilbert.”

 

“That right?” Erin says with a smirk as she trails her index finger down between Jillian's breasts before her finger stops around the last button of her shirt. “Well as much as I _far_ prefer the reverse, there is something a little irresistible about you taking me too.”

 

Holtz closes her eyes and bites her lip as she feels Erin start to release each button, not letting it go until Erin pushes the shirt fully off her shoulders.

 

“Say it again,” Holtz says breathily as Erin's hands move to the buckle of her jeans and Erin looks up, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

 

“What,” Erin purrs, picking up the thread Jillian has lain at her feet seamlessly. “That I like taking you?”

 

“Yes,” Holtz moans as Erin pulls at her zipper and her pants drop to the floor.

 

“That I love pushing in so slowly I think you might snap from the way your back bends?” Erin asks, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “That I love watching it disappear inside you?”

 

“Jesus Erin,” Holtz says, her hands moving to Erin's hips before they tug and Erin feels the base of the toy come into contact with her too.

 

“Uh-uh,” Erin says again, smirking at Jillian's little snap of control. “I lead remember. Do that again and I'll make you wait until you're ready to pull these walls down.”

 

She leans back a little so she can watch the reaction cross Holtz's face.

 

There's a flash of a challenge, a fire hot white behind her eyes where Erin thinks she might actually challenge her but she doesn't.

 

Because while she knows Erin prefers to be soft, she can be hard too and the skin that shifts the balance between them fits Erin just as well too, when she cares to try it on.

 

“Good girl,” Erin says licking the tip of her canine. “Now, you tell me - clothes on or off?”

 

“Off,” Holtz says quickly, her hands sliding under the bottom of Erin's top, waiting for Erin's nod before she pulls it off. “Some anyway, I want to feel you against my skin.”

 

“Good,” Erin says breathily as she watches Holtz throw her top blindly behind her before her eyes take in Erin's bra-clad chest with a quiet moan.

 

“You too,” Erin says with a smile, her thumb brushing across the plain grey of Jillian's bra, flicking over her nipple.

 

Erin feels her eyes move like a weight down between their bodies then, resting on the buckle of Erin's pants.

 

They flick up like a question and Erin almost moans at the arousal she can see behind the blonde’s eyes and draping over her shoulders as she bends towards Erin.

 

“When you're ready,” Erin purrs and Holtz shivers. “We’ll begin.”

  


-

  


Erin watches with a pounding heart and a fire in her palms as Jillian crawls backwards towards the headboard, her eyes never moving from Erin's once.

 

It's so foreign to see her like this, waiting for Erin. It's such a thrill and she can see all at once why it makes Holtz so hot blooded.

 

She's divested Jillian of her bra so her chest is bare but she's still wearing her underwear because Erin's going to drag those off her legs with her teeth and Erin's still wearing both bra and underwear, at Holtz's request.

 

“It's so fucking hot when you're still half dressed,” Holtz had said with a growl when Erin moved to take them off. “Leave them?”

 

The harness is firm around her waist and she feels more than a little silly, even with the much smaller than usual appendage, but Holtz's eyes keep moving between Erin's eyes and her crotch and she's panting in anticipation now and it steels Erin a little more.

 

She waits until Holtz is up by the pillows, leaning up on her elbows before she starts crawling up the bed, her back bending with every movement.

 

She stops when she reaches the blonde's waist, bending down to take the edge of Jillian's underwear between her teeth.

 

She lets it snap against Holtz's stomach with a crack before she presses a quick kiss to it and takes it in her mouth again as her fingers come up, ever so delicately to help.

 

She runs her fingertips up the inside of Jillian's legs, over the quiet swell of her calves and the whisper soft skin of her upper thigh, and she's shaking by the time Erin finally makes it up to her head.

 

Erin leans in, capturing Jillian for a kiss that pours ice and fire into their veins at once and Erin has to make a conscious effort to keep her body up high because all she wants to do is grind down against Holtz and slide inside.

 

Not yet though, although she could see how ready Holtz is as she'd stripped her bare, can feel it now on the length of her thigh as Jillian searches desperately for friction.

 

“Behave,” Erin growls against her mouth when they both pull away gasping, pushing Holtz's hips gently down into the bed.

 

“Easier said than fucking done,” Holtz grits out as her eyes fall to the length between Erin's legs.

 

“Better?” Erin asks, genuinely curious as she follows the path of her eyes.

 

“Much,” Holtz says nodding as she draws her nails up Erin's sides and Erin growls in response.

 

“Don't worry,” Erin says as she starts moving back down Jillian's body. “I'll still make sure you're nice and ready.”

 

She hears Holtz open her mouth to throw back some witty response but Erin's quicker, fastening her mouth hot and wide over the blonde's core.

 

_This_ was the thing she'd been most nervous about when they'd started things between them but honestly, she's surprised by how much she enjoys it.

 

Most of it is how much Jillian enjoys it too, and the way she writhes beneath Erin's mouth only makes her move more keenly, flattening and widening her tongue as she dips inside.

 

“Fuck, Erin,” Holtz swears somewhere distantly above her, one of her hands winding in Erin's hair before it pulls and Erin hums at the strain across her scalp, revelling in the sensation.

 

Jillian moans something that sounds like _sorry_ but it's lost in the jump of her hips and the push of Erin's tongue, and then her fingers.

 

She slides one finger in so easily it's met with nothing but a smooth, slippery lack of resistance, only feeling a pull at two as Holtz clenches around her.

 

She stretches so easily though, as turned on as she is, so it's not long before Erin feels the tension in Jillian's body at the slight intrusion relax.

 

She doesn't stop there though, drawing lazy shapes with her tongue as she curls her fingers and it's not long before Erin feels a shudder start in the bottom of Jillian's core.

 

The toy is a little bigger than two fingers but Erin thinks she'll be ready now, more than willing to take it in if the way she's pulling around Erin's fingers is anything to go by.

 

She draws back slowly, wiping at the corners of her mouth delicately as she leans back on her heels to look down the length of Jillian's body.

 

She's beautiful, long lines of creamy skin shot with clouds of purple and red where Erin has left her mark, and Erin bites her lip at the sight.

 

“You're so beautiful,” Erin says without meaning to, and Holtz looks up in surprise, smiling shyly at the compliment.

 

“You think so?” Holtz asks curiously.

 

“I know so,” Erin says firmer this time. “You're stunning, Jill.”

 

“And all yours,” Holtz says with a smirk.

 

“And all mine,” Erin says with a slightly dangerous smile in return. “Do you think you're ready?”

 

“As I'll ever be,” Holtz says, and there's a minuscule spark of nervousness that makes Erin want to lean down and kiss it away.

 

So she does.

 

She leans up, sliding her tongue into Jillian's mouth with a practised ease and heat that makes Erin run even hotter than she already is and when she draws back she knows Jillian's well beyond the point of no return.

 

She moves off the bed quickly, plying the shaft of the toy with a liberal amount of lubrication, not that she thinks they'll need it at all but it's cool to the touch and she thinks the contrast against the heat of Jillian's flesh will be _even_ _more_.

 

She crawls back onto the bed, resting her hands on Holtz's knees where she has them pulled up hiding herself a little shyly.

 

“We don't have to do this,” Erin says, walking her fingers along the top of Jillian's knees, down the slope towards her centre. “There's so much I could do with my hands if you'd prefer.”

 

“I want,” Holtz says nodding as she leans up on her elbows. “Just a bit nervous. The first bit’s always a little….”

 

“I'll go slow,” Erin says licking her lips because while she'll always bend to what Holtz does or doesn't want to do, now she's here she's _really_ looking forward to the idea of this.

 

Holtz nods, biting her lip as Erin _gently gently gently_ draws her legs apart, crawling between them as they open for her.

 

She can feel the anticipation radiating off Holtz like a heatwave and she smoothes over the curve of her hip with her thumb as a reassurance, grounding them both.

 

Jillian looks to her and there's a light behind her eyes that speaks of nerves and lust but trust too, and Erin knows then how much she wants this.

 

“Ok?” Erin asks moving in closer as she lines herself up, holding the tip of the toy back until Holtz nods heavily, her fingers crawling down Erin's arm that's bracketing her head, the one not between her legs.

 

Erin smiles, her eyes bright as she moves forward, brushing the tip against Jillian's entrance and her mouth falls open before she fixes her teeth firmly in her bottom lip.

 

Erin pulls back slightly, and she knows it must be torture but she wants to make this as good for Holtz as she can so she brings the toy up to bump against her clit ever so slightly before sliding it down the length of her again, dipping in ever so slightly.

 

“You're a fucking tease, Gilbert,” Holtz grits out between clenched teeth as she falls back, flat against the mattress so she can roll her hips up towards Erin, moving down on the toy just a fraction.

 

It's not enough though, Erin knows it's not, so her smirk is more than a little wicked as she trails the fingers of her spare hand over the flat of the blonde's stomach.

 

“You love it,” Erin says heavily, her heart beating loudly in her chest in time with the way Holtz jumps up to meet her touch.

 

“ _Erin_ ,” Holtz growls and Erin can only stare in wonder as her body moves up towards Erin, almost lifting entirely off the bed in an attempt to find some friction.

 

So Erin gives in. Finally.

 

She makes eye contact with Holtz once more before she pushes in more firmly and the head slides inside.

 

“Holy shit….” Holtz moans as her back arches and her hands clutch at the blankets beneath her.

 

Erin gives her a moment to settle around the slight stretch before she leans down to press her lips to the swell of Jillian's breast.

 

“More?” Erin asks softly, her eyes finding bright blue in the low light.

 

“Yes,” Holtz moans as she nods. “Go slow but I need more. _Please_.”

 

And this is exactly how Erin wanted her, worked up fit to break, her hesitation dust at the foot of their bed.

 

Erin leans down then, taking a nipple into her mouth as she pushes in with her hips, slow, until her skin finds the warmth of Jillian's.

 

She pulls back with her top half slightly, not moving the bottom but searching for the expression on Jillian's face as she takes in the length.

 

Erin almost gasps because she looks _so_ beautiful.

 

Her eyes are shut but her mouth is open, her cheeks and chest flushed the loveliest shade of pink Erin's ever seen in her life.

 

Her hands come to settle on the side of the harness, like she can feel Erin waiting for her, holding her in place for a moment.

 

“Ok?” Erin asks softly, not moving an inch.

 

“Yes,” Holtz moans, and Erin can feel the affirmation reverberate down the length of their bodies. “God yes, I just need a second.”

 

It doesn't feel like a second though, feels like less than the length of a heartbeat before Holtz slips her hands off the side of the harness to palm the flesh of Erin's ass.

 

“I'm good, Er,” Holtz gasps as Erin slides in a fraction of an inch deeper. “Please.”

 

That's how Erin knows she's gone.

 

Because begging is a game for them, and Holtz never gives it up unless she's so far past the point of lust that recovery is impossible.

 

So Erin smiles, and starts moving.

 

She keeps it shallow at first, moving in and out slowly and quietly until Holtz starts to move her hips to meet her, trying to elongate Erin's thrusts.

 

So she moves longer, pulls back and pushes in deeper and watches as the breath falls from between the blonde's lips like a spell.

 

“You're beautiful,” Erin says again as she leans down low, because she's almost struck dumb with the softness of Jillian's body and she can't quite believe she's the one who gets to watch it fall apart like this.

 

Her lips whisper across the curve of her breast bone before Jillian's hands come up to wind in her hair, pulling Erin's mouth to hers with a gasp and they kiss long and hard as Erin starts to move firmer and faster.

 

When she breaks away she's panting. That's the thing that had surprised her most, the physicality of wearing this harness. Because Jillian had made it look effortless but it's far from it.

 

Her arms are starting to shake as they hold her above Jillian's head but her hips keep driving because Jillian's movements are becoming more and more erratic and she knows she's close.

 

She knows Jillian's close but she's going to need _more_ , because penetration alone is never quite enough so she dips her head and draws a nipple into her mouth, rolling it around her tongue.

 

“Jesus, Erin,” Holtz gasps, clawing desperately at Erin's back as Erin cants her hips at _just_ the right angle and Jillian falls apart.

 

The release is slow and heavy and her nails drag across the sweep of Erin's back, drawing her closer in as Erin slows her hips, elongating her movements as Holtz wraps herself as tightly as she can around Erin's body.

 

Her teeth settle into the curve of Erin's neck and she almost comes herself, the sensation of mouth and nails and smooth hot skin beneath her own _overwhelming_.

 

She waits until the last shudder leaves the blonde's body before she stills completely, draping herself half over Jillian's body, the both of them exhausted.

 

“God, you're good at that,” Holtz moans, her voice a little strained with Erin's weight pushing the air from her lungs. “How, Erin? How are you so good at that?”

 

“Beginners luck?” She says with a wink, leaning up on an elbow to look down at Holtz.

 

“Erin, _baby_ , there was nothing beginner about that, I can assure you,” Holtz says with a laugh, brushing a strand of Erin's hair behind her ear.

 

“So not terrible then?” Erin asks with a smile. “Ok?”

 

“Oh, no,” Holtz says shaking her head. “Terrible. Awful. So bad in fact that you're definitely going to need to try again.”

 

“Is that so,” Erin asks with a smirk, rolling her hips just a little, still inside Holtz.

 

“Yes,” Holtz says, moving with an energy that takes Erin by surprise and rolling them. “Very soon. Now, in fact. If you think you can take it, that is.”

 

Her eyes are sparkling and the blush is coming back, blooming beneath the marks that Erin has scattered across her chest with her lips.

 

“I can take it,” Erin says returning her smirk with a glint in her eye that lights a fire between them again.

 

“Question is _Jillian_ , can you?”

  
  
  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it folks. What do we think?
> 
> Enjoying still? Or are we all smutted out? 
> 
> Make sure to come say hi on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com/) if you'd like, too!
> 
> x


	15. quinze - part one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thunder and lightning.  
>  **(part one)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> Hopefully this little update brightens some days. It's definitely another soft piece despite what the title suggests. This one took over my heart and my little typing fingers and has been split into two parts because otherwise it was way too long, but I don't think you'll mind.
> 
> x

-

 

**Thirty three.**

Thunder and lightning. 

_ (part one) _

 

-

 

 

They just make it home before the worst of the storm hits, running the last hundred feet or so with their jackets over their heads as the heavens open above them. 

 

They fall through the door to their apartment breathless and half soaked, their clothes clinging to them as the sky cracks open outside and the thunder rumbles through Erin's blood. 

 

The water drips off them as they stand just inside the door. It's cool but not cold, the turn of autumn hanging in the air but not quite on them just yet. 

 

Holtz leans against the doorframe, watching Erin with a lopsided grin and she smiles as she moves a wet strand of hair from out of Erin's eyes. 

 

It's soft and Erin can feel the fondness melting off her, settling in the space between them, and then something  _ changes _ . 

 

Jillian bites her lip as the thunder rolls and her body follows, bending towards Erin with her hands out in front of her. 

 

Erin's not sure when she started started moving but she does and they meet somewhere in the middle as Jillian's hands slip beneath her top with little preamble. 

 

Their mouths meet at the same time and Erin moans as Jillian's tongue slides into her mouth, hot and smooth, and the growl of satisfaction moves into Jillian too who gasps in return as she swallows it, breaking away. 

 

Jillian's hands stop just short of pushing her clothes off her shoulders, eyes catching Erin's as she bites her lip and nods and Erin's top hits the floor with a wet thud a second later. 

 

Erin's not sure what's done this, lit a fire in Jillian's blood that burns hot enough for Erin to feel it beneath the skin, but she won't complain. 

 

She'll  _ burn _ instead. 

 

Jillian turns her, pushing her back into the door as she slides between Erin's legs, her thigh leaning heavily against Erin making her throb. 

 

Her lips find Erin's pulse point like a magnet, drawing the skin between her teeth as her hands fall to the hem of Erin's dress, working it  _ up up up _ her thighs. 

 

It's slow though, tickling, almost teasing and Erin wants to push against her, draw action from her but she knows there's a timing to everything Jillian does and this will be no different. 

 

She does what she can then and pulls at Jillian's clothes too, pushing her vest off her shoulders before her hands snake between their bodies and start on the buttons of Jillian's shirt. 

 

They don't speak, not verbally anyway, not wanting to break the rhythm of the storm outside but they don't need to. Because Erin's body can read the things Jillian says with hers perfectly by now. 

 

She knows that when Jillian's teeth nip at the soft skin of her neck it means  _ I want you to taste you _ , and when her thigh pushes up creating some well needed friction it means  _ I can't wait _ . 

 

And when she stills, her hands on Erin's waist beneath her dress over her hips it means  _ I love you _ . 

 

It's not the only way she says I love you with her body, but it's one of Erin's favourites. 

 

She says it with her eyes and her hands and her lips and Erin says it too, in the way she threads her fingers through blonde hair, holding Jillian to her pulse, or the way she slides her leg around slim hips, keeping Jillian in the curve of her body. 

 

Erin rids Jillian of her shirt and then pants, her fingers dipping ever so slightly and purposefully beneath the waistband of Holtz’s underwear. She jumps at the contact of skin on skin and Erin tries not to smile too deeply at the response it yields. 

 

Jillian catches it though, of course she does, and she smiles as her hands spread on Erin's upper thighs. 

 

Because she notices everything about Erin in the best way, never misses a single beat of her heart let alone something like a smile in a moment like this. 

 

She makes a spectacle of it then, removing Erin's dress from her body, a performance of it even. A movement to write an opera or a sonnet against. 

 

Her hands graze Erin's thighs as they take the fabric with them, setting the skin ablaze and Erin's heart rate with it. 

 

They don't bother to turn the lights on. The room is dim in the evening, the sky flashing every few minutes illuminating their silhouettes perfectly instead as Jillian starts to move them towards the bedroom. 

 

“Wait,” Erin says when they stop just in front of their bedroom door. 

 

Holtz looks more than a little confused and her hands still on Erin's hips, her thumbs warm on Erin's chilled skin. 

 

“What?” She asks Erin gently. “Everything ok?”

 

“Yes,” Erin breathes against her lips. “I think we should warm up first though.”

 

“Isn't that what we're doing?” Holtz asks confused. 

 

“No,” Erin says shaking her head as she gestures towards the bathroom. “I mean…..”

 

“Oh,” Holtz says, her eyes if possible, going darker and glassier. “ _ Oh _ .”

 

“Yes?” Erin asks rolling her body against the blonde's, electricity jumping between the gaps. 

 

“Yes,” Holtz answers smiling a little wickedly and Erin can't help but gulp in anticipation. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

 

She runs her finger down the hollow between Erin's breasts, hooking her finger into the gap beneath her bra and tugging Erin to her. 

 

“You're looking a little flushed already, Gilbert,” Holtz says against Erin's lips. “You ok?”

 

“Just  _ fine _ ,” Erin says meeting her tone as she pushes them backwards towards the bathroom. 

 

It's huge, stupidly decadent even but the reason she bought the apartment in the first place, the shower open to the room but separated by a glass panel with a showerhead at either end and a notched shelf beneath each. Erin thinks they were probably meant for shampoo but they've found a much more creative use for them, perfectly seat-sized as they are. 

 

They walk through the door, their hands sweeping over each other's bodies before Holtz moves to turn the light on but nothing happens, the room staying cloaked in darkness.

 

“It's fine. I just want the moonlight,” Erin says softly as she brings Holtz's hand to her mouth, taking a finger between her lips. “And the lightning. Is that ok? I just want to  _ feel _ .”

 

“Can I light a candle?” Holtz says around a moan when Erin releases her finger. “I want to see you, even if it's just a little.”

 

Erin nods as she steps back, pulling the water on. 

 

“Be quick,” Erin says as she slides her own bra straps down her arms. “I might have to get started without you, otherwise.”

 

Holtz freezes, biting her lip as she watches Erin divest herself of her underwear, making a proper show of it before walking backwards under the stream of hot water. 

 

“Jillian?” Erin says after a minute, during which Holtz doesn't move. “Candle?”

 

She shakes her head before she smiles at Erin, caught, and she backs out of the room, her hair long down her back. 

 

When she walks back in Erin almost loses her breath because the sight is beautiful. 

 

She's cradling the candle carefully in two hands, blowing softly as she encourages the flame to light and the soft glow illuminates the lines of her face and the fall of her hair perfectly. 

 

She's bare but for her underwear too now and Erin can see gooseflesh ripple across the skin of her arms when she comes closer, her eyes catching Erin's, although she's not sure if it's from the cold or something else. 

 

“Hi,” she says softly, setting the candle down as she walks over to the shower. “You make for quite a sight wet, Erin Gilbert.”

 

“How could you possibly know that from there?” Erin says with a grin, collecting the water around her neck with her palms and Holtz smirks in reply. 

 

“Excellent point,” Holtz says as she slides her hands around her own back, her bra falling at her feet a few seconds later. “I'd really better feel for myself, hmmm?”

 

Erin can only stare a little dumbly then as Holtz steps out of her underwear and pads towards her, hanging off the glass panel as she looks around at Erin when she reaches the shower. 

 

“Room for me in there?” Holtz says a little shyly and Erin can only blush in response as she pulls Holtz in under the jet of spray, the blonde groaning in ecstasy as the hot water rolls down and over her body. 

 

She's gorgeous up close like this, so much more so than Erin had ever built up in her head. Her skin is a soft creamy white now, in the dead of winter, hard and soft around the muscles they depend on to keep them safe every other day, and Erin never gets enough no matter how long she looks. 

 

Erin slides her arms around the blonde's waist as they stand together, their thighs and hips bumping together as Holtz threads her fingers through her own hair pushing it away from her face. 

 

Erin takes the opportunity to run her finger down the hollow between the blonde's breasts, watching the skin ripple and contract around her nipples. 

 

Holtz squirms a little in Erin's hold, her hands coming down to catch Erin's around her wrists as she smiles. 

 

“Uh-uh,” Holtz says as she grins wickedly. “My turn.”

 

Erin can only shiver in response, allowing Holtz to walk her backwards to the little shelf and she sits down on it, the tiles warm under the running water. 

 

“Jill,” Erin says trying to keep the moan out of her voice. “You don't have to….”

 

“I know,” Holtz says as she flips her hair over her shoulder and kneels between Erin's thighs, her hands resting on Erin's knees. “But I  _ really _ want to.”

 

And she's never going to protest too hard because  **god** Jillian is good at this, and Erin can tell she gets almost as much out of it as Erin herself does. 

 

She moves her palms over Erin's outer thighs before she cups Erin's knees with her hands and moves them ever so gently apart, Erin opening wide for her. 

 

It's still hard to fight, the impulse to want to cover herself up but Holtz is biting her lip and her pupils are enormous and it gives Erin confidence where she's never had any before. 

 

Holtz doesn't waste any time, sliding onto her knees as she leans in, kissing Erin's inner thighs before she winds her arms around Erin's legs and encourages Erin closer towards her mouth. 

 

It's amazing how warm the first touch of her tongue is when the water is so hot around them, but it's exquisite. It's confident and soft and it feels like home. 

 

Holtz takes a few long draws with her tongue, sucking lightly as Erin's head falls back against the tiles with a thud. 

 

“Have you been holding back on me, Gilbert?” Holtz asks as she pulls back with a moan, licking her lips. “I can taste how much you want this already.”

 

“Of course I want this,” Erin says as she moves her hips closer to the edge of the shelf. “It's all I've been thinking about since this damn storm started this morning.”

 

“Really?” Holtz asks with a smirk. 

 

“Yes,” Erin says heavily. “I always want you but it's more when it's rough outside. I want to be quiet inside with you. Keep each other warm, you know? That sounds silly doesn't it?”

 

Erin blushes again, worried she's shot the mood out of the sky but Holtz smiles heavily at her and she knows she hasn't. 

 

“Not silly. Endearing,” Holtz says as she moves forward again, kissing Erin's knee. “And hot. The thought of you thinking about this, about us, is very  _ very _ hot.”

 

“Really?” Erin asks with a raised eyebrow and Holtz raises her own in answer as she surges forward, capturing Erin in her mouth again and Erin gasps. 

 

Words become obsolete after that because Erin can barely remember her own name let alone talk, because Jillian has scooped her hands around to cup Erin's ass and pull her forward and more firmly against her mouth and it feels to Erin like she's  _ everywhere _ . 

 

Her tongue is strong and wide and then short and it dips inside to taste her more intimately, and Erin can't stop her hands winding in Jillian's hair as she grounds down against the blonde's face. 

 

Every now and then Holtz will pull back for a breath and her cheeks are flushed from the heat and what Erin imagines to be her own desire and it's so tempting to stop her, to pull her so

Erin can taste too but almost like Holtz can read her mind she dives back in and takes Erin's breath with her tongue and it's all she can do to hold on. 

 

She's not normally loud, neither of them are really, but there's something about the raging storm outside that makes her groans come low and heavy and she can feel Holtz growl in response against her as they fall between her lips. 

 

Her chest is heaving by the time she feels her orgasm climb up the base of her spine, shivering deeply as she feels it sink its teeth into her and draw her release like smoke from a wound. 

 

Jillian feels it too and pulls Erin tighter against her mouth and Erin can only tighten her hands in blonde hair and try not to lose consciousness. 

 

She shudders so hard she's afraid she might fall off the ledge but Jillian is there, her hands firm on Erin's thighs holding her in place as the waves roll and the pleasure bleeds from her body into Jillian's fingertips. 

 

It slows and Holtz slows with it, moving softer against Erin as she draws the last wisps out, taking as much of Erin's desire as she can before she moves away to rest on her heels and watch, licking her lips as Erin comes down fully, her hands light on Erin's knees. 

 

Her hair is all over the place and she's got a beautifully dumb look on her face and Erin can't help sliding off the step onto the floor to kiss the lust-struck smile off her face. 

 

Her whole body feels a little unstable still but Jillian's arms are firm around her waist as she pulls them together. Erin groans into the kiss as her tongue moves hotly against Jillian's and Erin blushes a little when they pull apart, tasting herself on the blonde's lips. 

 

“Let me take you to bed,” Holtz says as she runs her hands down Erin's back to cup her ass. “Please.”

 

“But….” Erin says, her hands sliding over Jillian's shoulders and along the line of bone. “You….I want you.”

 

“I want you more,” Holtz says pulling Erin to her with a fierceness that she doesn't often show, and it makes Erin shudder. “God, I could just eat you alive Erin. Please.”

 

“I can have you later?” Erin asks, submitting beautifully to the strength rolling off the blonde. 

 

“Of course,” Holtz says with a hot smirk. “When I'm done with you, that is.”

 

“Is everything ok?” Erin asks with a quirked eyebrow as Holtz helps her to her feet, pulling their wet bodies flush together again. “Did something happen?”

 

Because it's not like she's complaining, Jillian like this is her favourite. The one who takes Erin by the hand and  _ leads _ but she wants to make sure there's nothing else going on driving this. 

 

“Everything's amazing, Er,” Holtz says as she pulls Erin to her for another kiss. “I just feel like the storms in my blood, you know? I just want you so fucking badly I can't stand it.”

 

“So hurry up and have me then,” Erin says, her blood boiling immediately at the safety and reassurance in Jillian's words. 

 

Jillian smiles heavily, her eyes dropping down between their bodies to take all of Erin in as she shuts the water off and pulls Erin to her before sliding a towel around her shoulders. 

 

She runs her hands over the outside of the towel, keeping Erin warm as she shivers against the cold of the bathroom and Erin reaches behind Holtz to grab her towel and do the same. 

 

They dry each other quietly and the peace of the moment settles over Erin's skin before Holtz steps behind her so they can both look at their reflections in the mirror. 

 

Erin watches as Holtz combs Erin's hair up with her fingers, sliding a hair band off her own wrist to capture Erin's ponytail in a little bun before she runs her hands down over Erin's shoulders and presses a hot, open mouthed kiss to her pulse point. 

 

It's a beautifully delicate gesture and it's little moments like this that make her fall hopelessly in love with Jillian even more because the care bleeding out of her fingertips makes Erin feel whole. 

 

Erin spins in Jillian's arms then to do the same, winding her long hair into a ringlet before she twirls it into a tight knot atop her head, taking the proffered elastic tie with a smile before she winds her arms around Holtz’s waist. 

 

“Thanks,” Holtz says as she presses a gentle kiss to Erin's mouth and Erin smiles against her lips before she slides her tongue into Jillian's mouth and the temperature soars, crackling heavily between them.

 

“You look so pretty with your hair up,” Holtz says as she smiles at Erin. “I think it'll look even better between my fingers later though.”

 

“Ready?” Jillian asks her, her hands sliding beneath Erin's towel as she slides her leg between Erin's where they stand. 

 

“Always,” Erin says with a smirk, her cheeks warm and her hands hot. 

 

“Good,” Holtz says as she bends down and collects Erin, scooping her up and Erin understands quickly, moving her legs to wrap around Jillian's waist as she carries them back towards the bedroom, both of their towels falling to the floor without so much as a backwards glance to them. 

 

 

-

 

 

**end part one.**

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, I think it's one of my favourites so far. Part two will be up in a day or so, as soon as it's ready for consumption.
> 
> Feel free to stop by and let me know what you thought or pop by [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com/) and do the same.
> 
> x


	16. quinze - part two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thunder and lightning.  
>  **(part two)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two team, I hope you enjoy. This second part has a slightly different feel but I think it's just as lovely. 
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think if you want to stop by at the end.
> 
> x

-

 

**Thirty three.**

Thunder and lightning.

_(part two)_

 

 

_-_

 

 

_“Good,” Holtz says as she bends down and collects Erin, scooping her up and Erin understands quickly, moving her legs to wrap around Jillian's waist as she carries them back towards the bedroom, both of their towels falling to the floor without so much as a backwards glance to them._

 

 

-

 

 

Holtz is warm between her thighs and against her breasts, her arms strong beneath Erin's ass but it's not that which Erin's attention has zeroed in on, it's the way her core bumps against the flat of Jillian's stomach with every step the blonde takes.

 

She can feel evidence of her own arousal there and so can Holtz if the smirk on her face is anything to go by, and Erin nips at Jillian's neck as she walks them through the door to their room, her teeth sinking into the heated flesh firmly.

 

“Shut up,” Erin says with a growl and Holtz smiles in return as she pulls away from Erin's mouth.

 

“I didn't say a thing _baby_ ,” Holtz says with a grin.

 

“You didn't have too,” Erin says with another bite. “Besides, you only have yourself to blame.”

 

“I know,” Holtz says with another smirk as she drops her hand to dip between Erin's thighs from behind and Erin gasps at the contact. “Isn't it wonderful.”

 

“Jesus,” Erin says, jumping in the blonde's arms and back onto her fingers before they stop at the end of the bed.

 

“Jillian will do,” Holtz says as she presses Erin down into the bed, running her hands up Erin's sides as Erin shivers beneath her.

 

Erin closes her eyes and surrenders completely to the sensation, sliding her arms out wide on the bed beneath her and up to grip at the blankets above her head.

 

She doesn't open her eyes but she can imagine what Jillian looks like from the soft exhale of air she hears as she climbs onto Erin, her thighs straddling Erin's as her hands move up Erin's stomach to close over her breasts, her thumbs pulling at Erin’s nipples softly.

 

“Beautiful, Erin,” she hears Holtz say before she feels lips close around the sensitive flesh beneath her fingers. “You're _beautiful_.”

 

“And yours,” Erin says as she rolls her body up into Jillian's waiting hands.

 

“And mine,” Holtz agrees as she smiles against Erin's skin and moves her mouth to Erin's other breast. “All mine.”

 

The thunder rolls heavily outside and Erin's moan runs through them both, echoing the density of the cloud and rain lashing the windows of their room.

 

It's quiet inside though, a beautiful juxtaposition to the storm outside, no sound other than the pounding of Erin's heart and her hitched breath, and the occasional sigh from the body above her own echoing around the room as Holtz continues her ministrations.

 

She's beautiful like this, distracted by Erin's pleasure, her head locked on a one-way track to Erin's release and nothing else. And it's not that Erin doesn't want to participate a little more actively, try and take control for a moment to give Holtz a release too, but she knows the blonde won't let her. Not yet.

 

Jillian stays over her chest for a moment, bathing the pebbling flesh with kisses as her hands palm at Erin, bringing Erin's breasts to her mouth before she rolls her tongue around Erin's nipple again and it's all she can do to lay back and remember to breathe.

 

She loves it like this though, submitting so completely, when she can lay back and _give, give, give,_ and Jillian will take everything she has to offer. Better still, she knows that Jillian loves it too.

 

As heavy as the attention is though after a while it's not enough and Erin needs more. Holtz understands easily when Erin starts to writhe and answers with a smile against the skin as she kisses over Erin's body, her fingers teasing across the skin of Erin's thigh.

 

“Not impatient already are we?” Holtz says as she looks down at Erin.

 

“Of course not,” Erin says as she arches up into Jillian's hands, her eyes fluttering shut.

 

She feels Holtz shift, as though about to move back down to taste Erin again but Erin stops her with a soft hand on her cheek.

 

“Wait,” Erin says gently. “I want to see you. Stay up here?”

 

“Of course,” Holtz says as she leans in to kiss Erin again, sliding her thigh firmly between Erin's legs.

 

Erin groans at the contact and Holtz catches it with her tongue, surging against Erin as she pushes her thigh more purposefully as the kiss deepens.

 

“God, I love this,” Holtz says as she breaks a gasp. “When you're so wet I can feel you like this.”

 

And Erin would blush but honestly she's too busy trying to regulate her breathing but it's more than that, because she loves it too. Loves that Jillian can make her feel something so intensely that Erin can leave a trace of it on her as they move together.

 

They've done this before, push each other to a peak with other parts of their body and Erin's always taken with how different it feels relative to their hands and mouth, softer and slightly less direct but _deeper_ too.

 

It's not what Jillian has planned for tonight though because on the next turn of Erin's pulse Holtz moves her thigh to make room for her hand and her fingers slide easily against Erin, and Erin's heart **drops** out of her chest.

 

“Oh, _Erin_ ,” Holtz groans as her fingers move in long circles before they dip inside.

 

“Hard,” Erin gasps as thunder booms somewhere in the distance. “Please, Jill. I don't want gentle. I want to ache tomorrow.”

 

“Sure?” Holtz asks, a spark in her eyes that makes Erin quiver and Erin is struck with the distinct impression that this is what she was hoping for, to be able to push Erin to her edge.

 

“Yes,” Erin says with a moan and she watches as Jillian's entire body shivers in response at the affirmation. “ _Please_.”

 

She doesn't waste a second, leaning in to take Erin's pulse between her teeth as she sucks hard bringing blood to the surface in her wake before her fingers move down swift and strong, pushing into Erin easily and with little ceremony.

 

“Oh my **god** , Jill,” Erin gasps as Holtz surges, starts moving her fingers in and out quickly and Erin's hips start rolling to meet them, swallowing Jillian's fingers.

 

The blonde is careful but not gentle, increasing the pace of her thrusts and the strength behind each push until Erin starts arching her back off the bed. She's just about ready for more, her body accustomed to the stretch when Jillian reads her mind and pushes in with a third and Erin sees stars.

 

The groan that slips over her tongue is nothing short of filthy and it seems to egg Holtz on as she bends lower against Erin's body, pushing harder and harder as her teeth sink into the skin of Erin's shoulder and Erin's vision whites out.

 

Jillian’s relentless, her pace never slowing or ceasing for a second as she fills Erin _again_ and _again_ and _again_ and the stretch **burns** but it's so fucking good Erin never wants her fingers to leave her ever again.

 

They're both panting hard, Jillian's cheeks as flushed as Erin imagines her own are but it doesn't matter. All that matters is their broken breathing and the way Jillian hisses as Erin's nails bite into the skin of her back in an attempt to bring her closer still, and the way the lightning makes blonde hair look like liquid silver wound around Jillian's head like a crown.

 

It's incredible, the feeling of being taken like this. Of being able to open herself up so wholly to the person she trusts to take her apart perfectly but to remember how to put her back together too, and Erin tries to let the thunder sear it into her consciousness - a memory to last for the rest of her days.

 

The orgasm catches them both entirely by surprise, Holtz curling her fingers accidentally when Erin's own slide against her scalp and pull and it throws Erin over the edge like a blow, taking her breath away.

 

Holtz doesn't relent for a second though, just keeps pushing and pushing as Erin gasps and tries to keep up as she pulls wave upon wave from between Erin's thighs.

 

The sky cracks outside as Holtz starts to slow, two fingers and then one as Erin's body peaks and drops and she pulls Jillian to her before she moves away fully, kissing her deeply before nipping at her bottom lip.

 

Holtz doesn't seem done with her yet though, her lips curling into a smile as Erin's chest expands at the possibility sitting atop her canines.

 

She moves them easily, changing position from between Erin's legs to straddle her core and as soon as Jillian lifts Erin's thigh gently she understands and shifts a little to help.

 

Their centres come into contact and Erin lets out a moan that the neighbors three floors down would have heard if it weren't for the storm outside because Holtz is so wet and warm and _right against Erin_ and god, it's mind blowing.

 

“This is all I could think about after feeling you on my thigh,” Holtz says with a gasp as she tips her head back, her hands on Erin's knee and hip as she uses them to push herself down against Erin, drawing in a sharp breath when they bump just right.

 

“You should have started with this,” Erin says breathily as Holtz slips over her clit. “I wanted this to be for you, not me.”

 

“I've been wanting to fuck you like that for days though,” Holtz says with a smirk. “This is the trouble see, every time I'm near you I just want you more.”

 

“You think you're the only one?” Erin asks as her hands scramble for Jillian's hips, pulling them closer and closer. “Do you think it's easy to sit across from you all day, watching your fingers and trying not to think about what they feel like inside me?”

 

“Jesus, Erin. Do you think it's any different for me? All I want to do is pull you up on that desk and have you until you can't breathe. God, is this ever going to end? The wanting?”

 

“No,” Erin says with a wicked smile as her nails sink into the soft skin at Jillian's hip. “I don't think it will.”

 

Erin starts rolling her hips harder then, finding a momentum that seems to work for them and they both bite their lips as they **push** , desperately chasing the fluttering that's _just_ out of reach.

 

She's so close and she can tell Jillian is too, her head thrown back and her eyes loosely shut and her mouth softly parted. And then it happens; the blonde comes with a silent gasp and Erin concentrates _hard_ , actually feels Holtz pulse around her and against her and that pushes her to a climax too, moaning as Jillian pulls them together and they ride it out, beautifully joined.

 

Holtz collapses against her, a heavy weight of exhaustion and pleasure and heartbeats, and Erin sighs deeply in contentment as their breath falls into step.

 

“Oh my god,” Holtz groans from on top of her. “I think you've killed me Erin Gilbert. Really.”

 

“Me?” Erin says with a little half-laugh. “I think that was you. I can't take credit for half of that. Jeez, I feel like I need another shower.”

 

“That can be arranged,” Holtz says brightening as she pulls herself up on one elbow.

 

“Really?” Erin asks with a raised eyebrow. “Again? You're insatiable.”

 

“Can you blame me?” Holtz asks with a smile that makes Erin feel **hot,** but warm and safe and loved too.

 

Their legs are still wound together, both still slightly sticky from sweat and want but Holtz slows the moment down to an almost standstill, brushing a loose strand from Erin's ponytail back behind her ear.

 

“Hi,” Holtz says gently, running her fingers down the column of Erin's neck over a blooming bruise and Erin shivers, unable to stop the simple cause and effect.

 

“Hi,” Erin says quietly back, her whole body softening under Jillian's.

 

“I love you,” Holtz says easily and Erin feels her heart trill in her chest, because really - that will never ever get old.

 

“I love you too,” Erin returns with a dopey smile, happiness making it's way into her bones.

 

“You're beautiful in a storm, you know,” Holtz says deeply. “They've always reminded me of you. Before any of this ever started.”

 

“Really?” Erin asks with a raised eyebrow. “I'm not so sure that's a compliment, Jill.”

 

“No, it is,” Holtz says with a little smile. “You're so strong and capable and powerful of your own accord and maybe appear a little intimidating from the outside and I think that makes people cautious, but _I_ think it makes you more beautiful. Once you stop in the rain to look at the storm clouds.”

 

“Oh,” Erin says quietly as she thinks for a moment before smiling. “They remind me of you too, you know. I think I realised I liked you for the first time in a storm. You came in soaking wet still holding my bagel for breakfast, and I almost walked over and kissed you because I didn’t think for a moment you’d actually stop and get me one in that weather.”

 

“You should have,” Holtz says with a smile. “I was already _long_ gone by then.”

 

“Guess I'll just have to make it up to you now, huh?” Erin says with a smirk as she runs her hands up Jillian's back. “You know, that shower has excellent pressure and a detachable head….”

 

“I love it when you talk a big game,” Holtz says as she slides her spare hand under Erin's ponytail against her scalp and Erin groans in response. “You know if you really wanted to make it up to me, you could give me a little show yourself….”

 

“Oh,” Erin says with a dirty smile. “I don't know if you've been _that_ good.”

 

“I haven't,” Holtz says as her hand tightens in Erin's hair and Erin feels the pyre light beneath them. “I've been bad. I've been very _very_ bad.”

 

“Good,” Erin says as she bites Jillian's lip, hard. “Because I have too.”

 

 

-

 

**end part two.**

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Storms never sounded so appealing, huh?
> 
> I really hope you all enjoyed this piece, I really enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I wanted to make a little note and say I appreciate the hell out of everyone that reads anything I post (or follows me on tumblr), and especially those that take the time to leave kudos or a comment. They're the life blood for anyone who writes, seriously. Your comments all mean so much to me, so thank you for leaving them.
> 
> I'll see you all in a few days with the first instalment of my next multi-chap fic that I mentioned on tumblr, but in the meantime please feel free to stop by [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com/) and say hi if you'd like.
> 
> x


	17. seize.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bite down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> Well, this is back at least, I never actually went anywhere. So, I think I have maybe a few more ideas for these to round the chapters up to twenty and then that'll be that for this enormous smut-journey.
> 
> This is one of my favourite pieces I've done for this fic, I really like it and I hope you like it too.
> 
> x

-

 

 

**Thirty four.**

Bite down. 

 

 

-

 

 

Erin  _ cannot _ get Jillian to bite. 

 

She's been trying all damn day to tempt Jillian into dragging her into the bathroom or home early, and every single attempt has proved unsuccessful because for whatever reason Jillian is absolutely not having a bar of it. 

 

And she's tried  _ everything _ . 

 

From dropping her pen in front of Jillian's desk, hiking her skirt up a little as she leans over to pick it up, to eating her lunch with as much sexuality as she can manage, sucking the end of the fork before licking her lips and Holtz has given her  _ nothing _ . 

 

Not a wink or a smirk or anything, just a slightly amused smile before she returned to whatever it was she was doing before. And she's not mad at Erin, that's not why she won't pick the thread up, because Erin knows well enough by now what Holtz looks like when she's hurt or pissed and this isn't it. 

 

She just isn't playing ball. 

 

She's really tried everything too, all the things that normally have the blonde dragging her away to pull up a dress or push down pants, her fingers fumbling a little in her eagerness and haste as her teeth fix to Erin's neck but nothing has worked today. 

 

And she's not quite sure why her blood is running so hot today but it definitely is, even more so now she's been deprived of what she's wanted all day. 

 

Erin makes it to about four in the afternoon before she gives up completely because she's been staring at the same line on the paper in front of her for half an hour now and the ache between her legs is starting to make her a little pissy, and honestly she's just  _ done _ . 

 

“I give up,” Erin says with a huff as she stands up from her desk to address the room at large. “I'm going home.”

 

“Are you ok?” Abby says with a frown, looking up from her computer screen to appraise Erin. 

 

Jillian looks up from the pliers and whatever else she's fiddling with in her lap at Erin's words too. Her smile is small still but her eyes are bright and she's watching Erin very carefully. 

 

“Fine,” Erin says a little snippily looking determinedly at Abby and not Jillian. “Headache. Think I just need to  **lie down** .”

 

The emphasis on the last two words makes Jillian's grin widen and Erin knows she's got her attention now at least but at this point she doesn't actually care. She just needs to get home and  _ get off  _ and fix this damn problem herself. 

 

“Give me a minute and I'll come with,” Holtz says with a wink as she sets her tools down but now Erin's the one not playing. 

 

“No need,” Erin says with a sigh and a shrug. “Stay here if you're in the middle of something, I can just meet you at home later.”

 

Abby's eyes narrow at Erin's coolness and nonchalance, and she glances between the two of them looking for the source of whatever is causing Erin's slightly off behaviour. She knows it's a little childish but honestly, she couldn't care less because she's that hot and bothered she doesn't actually know how she's going to get home without touching herself. 

 

“No, no,” Holtz says easily. “I'll come with. You might need someone to tuck you in.”

 

She walks over to Erin, her hands in the little pockets of her waistcoat before she picks up Erin's coat off the rack, holding it out as she gestures for Erin to put her arms in the holes. 

 

“I know what you're doing,” Holtz says in Erin's ear as she slides the coat over Erin's shoulders, and it makes her shiver because it's the most Jillian's given her in so far as an acknowledgment all day. 

 

“Yeah,” Erin says with a bite under her breath so Abby can't hear. “What you won't, it seems. See you tomorrow, Abby.”

 

“Look after yourself, will you?” Abby says a little suspiciously. “Holtz, you'll….”

 

“With my undivided attention, Abby,” Holtz says dramatically to Abby as she bows before sweeping her arm out motioning for Erin to walk ahead. Her hand comes to rest on Erin's lower back and it's light but Erin can feel the significance of the gesture and it makes her want to growl. 

 

Because now Jillian's playing but it's on her terms, not Erin's. And Erin's not going to have a bar of  _ that _ at all. 

 

Erin smiles because she loves it when they're like this, on edge and a little tense with each other because it's all just a game in the end. She's not really mad at Jillian, nor is Jill really ignoring her. It's all for fun and it'll make this that much hotter when they do finally get what they both want. 

 

Her hand stays on Erin's lower back the whole walk home and it does absolutely nothing to assuage the warmth between her thighs. Her brain is ticking the whole way too, because now that she knows she has Jillian's attention she doesn't want to give in quite so easily as she had been willing to an hour or so ago. 

 

She doesn't give anything away though, either way, just bites her lip and lets Jillian lead them, right up to unlocking the front door. 

 

Holtz turns the knob and throws the door open, holding it back for Erin to walk through first and she's on Erin the second they both turn to push the door shut. 

 

The movement is smooth and heavy as she drives Erin back, her hands on her hips to push her against the door and Erin can't help but moan at the feeling of the blonde's thigh pushing between her legs because Christ, it's what she's wanted all fucking day. 

 

And honestly, Erin's expecting it but it still comes as a shock to her skin, her breath hammering in her throat as her body heats immediately. 

 

Jillian's hands are quick, sliding up Erin's sides to slip beneath her coat, pushing it off her shoulders and smiling as it hits the floor. She's distracted, Erin thinks with her own smile. She thinks this is going to play out just the way she wants. 

 

And that plays into Erin's hand perfectly. 

 

She follows along for the time being, the steps she wants to take falling into place in her head as Holtz continues to divest her of her clothing leaving her in her underwear and Erin does the same, biting her lip as she pops open the buttons of her waist coat, and then shirt, leaving Jillian in a plain black bra and pants. 

 

“You going to tell me what today was about?” Holtz asks with her teeth in Erin’s earlobe. 

 

“Are you?” Erin asks, growling when Holtz draws back making Erin shiver. 

 

“What do you mean?” Holtz asks again, her teeth scraping against Erin's neck now. 

 

“Coy’s not really your style, Jill,” Erin says as she winds her hands into Jillian's hair and pulls. “I wasn't playing a game, I was just on, you were the one not  _ coming to the party _ .”

 

“Maybe I like it when you show yourself off in front of me like that,” JillIan says with a moan as Erin's fingers tighten. “Maybe I like how you get when I make you wait.”

 

“Ahhhh,” Erin says in a tone of understanding as she folds herself against Jillian's body. “So you think it's fine to put me on edge all day because you like how it makes me? Tell me Jill, does that seem fair to you?”

 

“No,” Holtz says smiling against Erin's neck. “I suppose not.”

 

“How do you think it's been sitting in my seat all day?” Erin asks, her voice a low and a little dangerous. 

 

“Not much fun?” Holtz offers, a little coyly. 

 

“Not much fun,” Erin confirms, nodding her head. 

 

“I suppose I had better make it up to you now then, huh?” Jillian asks pulling Erin to her, her hands splayed wide over Erin's back. 

 

“ _ Actually _ ,” Erin says leaning into Jillian's body. “As much fun as that would be, I have a slightly different idea for how we might spend the evening.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Holtz asks, her eyebrow raised curiously. “And what's that?” 

 

“Oh, that would be telling,” Erin says gasping a little as Holtz pulls the ground from beneath Erin's feet as she bends down and picks Erin up, pulling Erin's legs around her waist. 

 

She draws back slightly before leaning forward and Erin's back hits the wall with a thump as her core comes into contact with part of Holtz’s roughly. 

 

“That's not fair,” Erin says growling as she threads her hands into Jillian's hair again, hooking her arms around the blonde's shoulders as she tries to get a better grip. 

 

“I've got you,” Holtz says as she readjusts her hands under Erin's ass. “You're not going anywhere. And all’s fair in love and war, baby.”

 

“That’s what you think,” Erin says as she squeezes her thighs around Jillian's middle. “Bedroom, please. And I'm so glad you think so Jill, I do hope you continue to feel that way soon.”

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” Jillian says with a wry smile as she starts walking them backwards to their room, her hands squeezing at Erin for good measure. 

 

“Wouldn't want to spoil anything for you,” Erin says with a smile as they make it to the foot of the bed. “Uh-uh, over there if you'd be so kind. And I want you to sit on the chair if you can manage.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Holtz asks interested as she carries Erin over to the armchair in the corner of their room. “And where are you going to be?”

 

“On your lap,” Erin says matter of factly, smiling a little happily when Jillian shivers beneath her. 

 

Holtz stops just in front of the chair before turning and sinking down into the chair with Erin maneuvering slightly so she's sitting atop Jillian’s hips when they settle. 

 

“Like this?” Holtz asks, her hands sliding up Erin's sides and back. 

 

“Not quite,” Erin says with a smirk as she leans in kissing Jillian deeply, her hands weaving into blonde hair. 

 

When she can feel that Jillian is suitably worked up in the kiss she pulls away like a rubber band snapping, and Holtz groans with the loss. 

 

“Tease,” Holtz says with a grumble, her hands sliding over Erin's hips as she pulls her closer. 

 

“You have no idea,” Erin says with a smirk before she starts sliding off Holtz’s lap. 

 

Jillian's hands try to stop her, closing softly over her upper arms but Erin's quicker. Her hands run down the blonde's front, skimming her bra-clad breasts before settling on the buckle of her pants. 

 

Erin looks up, catches Jillian's eyes black and wide as she nods and Erin's fingers pop the button open. Jillian lifts her hips obligingly as Erin eases the pants down and off her legs leaving her in a pair of grey boy shorts, Erin's nails dragging a little across the sensitive skin of the back of her calves. 

 

“Erin,” Holtz says a little shakily. “Light of my life, sun in my days. When you said teasing….”

 

“Oh I'm not going to tease,” Erin says standing as she turns before dropping back down silkily into Jillian's lap, her back to Erin's front. “Well, I'm going to give myself exactly what I've been burning for all day and I suppose the way with which I do that might tease  _ you _ but you're a big girl, Jill. I'm sure you'll handle it just fine.”

 

She turns her head, looking over her shoulder as she bites her lip and shivers as the unadulterated look of desire on Jillian's face settles between her legs with a  **thump** . 

 

Holtz tries to move her hands to settle on Erin's hips but Erin shakes her head the second they touch her, placing them on the arm of the chair instead. 

 

“You didn't want to touch earlier,” Erin purrs as she wriggles in Jillian's lap, pushing back so the blonde is hard up against the backrest and Erin is almost flush against her. “So now you don't get to.”

 

Erin might be imagining it because it's much too soon for her to be that turned on but she swears she can feel the heat radiating from the blonde's core against her ass as she settles back, grinding down for good measure. 

 

“Erin,” Holtz growls, her hands turning white as she curls them over the armrests. “Come on, you know it's not that I didn't want to….”

 

“Oh so you did, you just thought it would be more fun to torture me instead?” Erin says looking back with a smirk. “That's  _ so _ much better.”

 

“Er, come on I'm….” Holtz starts before Erin twists slightly so she can lean back and pull Jillian's lips to hers a little roughly. Her hand slides around Jillian's neck, her nails scratching lightly before she releases and slides back to her original position. 

 

And she's not mad, not at all but she knows Holtz wants to say more, to apologise or make amends for what was clearly an enormous oversight on her part but Erin's not interested in that now. 

 

“It's too late for apologies, Jill,” Erin says as she picks up the blonde's hands and runs them down her front, over her breasts and down her stomach before they dip below her underwear into hot, very,  _ very _ wet heat. 

 

It's a tactic, because she thought it would make Holtz madder not knowing what she was missing out on, just how aroused Erin was but no, it's worse when she knows but can't do a damn thing about it. 

 

Her fingers slip against Erin and she groans, her breath hot on Erin's shoulder as her teeth settle gently into the flesh there. Erin doesn't give her a chance to get comfortable though, because she knows as soon as Jillian starts she won't be able to stop her so she pulls Jillian's hand up and out of her underwear before she brings Jillian's fingers to her mouth and sucks. 

 

“Jesus Christ, Erin,” Holtz moans as Erin's tongue swirls around her fingers before they delicately place her hands back on the chair, patting them to show she's to keep them there. 

 

“Now you know what I've been dealing with all day,” Erin says as she reaches behind her back to unclasp her own bra before pushing her bare back against Jillian's breasts. “What a shame you didn’t do anything about it when you could.”

 

She's never done this before Jillian, touching herself in front of a partner. She balked the first time Jillian had suggested it so she'd gone first, showed Erin how powerful it was and Erin had been captivated, reciprocating in short order utterly taken with the way it had turned Jillian on hotter and quicker than she ever could have hoped for. 

 

It's one of her favourite things now, Erin knows, watching Erin bring herself to release but they've never done it quite like this, and Erin's not quite sure how it's going to go. How long Jillian will be able to hold out before she snaps. 

 

She leans back against the blonde so she can see what Erin's doing to begin with, how she runs her hands down the front of her own body, fingers tweaking roughly at her nipples before her hand slides lower. 

 

As soon as her hands graze cotton though she pulls forward slightly, eliminating Jillian's view and reducing it to the curve of her shoulder and swell of her breast. 

 

“Er,” Holtz half-whimpers as her lips press against Erin's shoulder. “I can't see.”

 

“That's the point, baby,” Erin purrs, her voice hitching when her fingers slip over herself. 

 

“But….” Holtz tries to reason, her tongue swirling on Erin's skin, the only point of contact Erin's allowing. 

 

“No but’s….” Erin says with a moan as she starts to move her fingers swiftly, the movement jostling both of them slightly so there's no mistaking exactly what she's doing on Jillian's lap. “You didn't want to touch and now you don't get to.”

 

“Jesus,” Holtz gasps as Erin’s hand continues to move purposefully, no teasing or gentility just a drive towards a release that her body's been screaming for all day. 

 

She's not normally one to make a lot of noise and she's not sure if it's just the situation or the result of being so turned on or because she's trying to make this as tempting a situation for Jillian as possible but the moans fall easy and free from her lips as her fingers move against herself. 

 

Holtz for her part is struggling but still holding back, for now at least, her hands white knuckled the edge of the chair but not moving and Erin can feel her forehead lowered up against the nape of Erin's neck, her breath heavy but carefully measured as it blows against Erin's skin. 

 

The contact is light but it's enough that every time Erin moans she feels the ripple pass through into Jillian too, her own breath that follows clipped and broken against Erin's flesh. 

 

She can imagine Jillian's eyes screwed shut as her nails bite into the leather of the chair and there's a heartbeat where Erin imagines them in her own skin and it's almost enough to make her spin but not quite. 

 

She dips her fingers lower instead, more determined as she collects the wetness and spreads it across herself as her fingers splay and the other spare hand moves up to palm at her breast again. 

 

Jillian lifts her head at that, sensing the movement and while she can't see she can obviously make the connection and she groans again as her lips whisper over the curve of Erin's neck. 

 

It's a delicious combination, Jillian's mouth and her own hands and she doesn't think it'll take long to find the edge, not with how worked up she is. 

 

“I could be doing that for you, you know,” Holtz whispers against her skin. “I could be sliding against you, dipping  _ just _ inside. I know you love it when I tease like that Erin, when I move around you like that before I push in. You know it makes you pull at my fingers just that little bit more when they're finally inside you.”

 

Erin can't help but smile at Jillian's words because she's never one to just roll over, to take a punishment or a lesson like this without at least a little resistance and she obviously thinks she can make Erin break first, make her beg Jillian to touch her and not the other way around. 

 

She's not going to though, not before Erin's made herself come the first time anyway, because her release is in her line of sight now, rumbling at the base of her spine like a freight train and as much as she desperately wants Jillian to touch her she knows she can hold out for a little longer. 

 

“You're right,” Erin purrs back as she twists her arm slightly so she can dip two fingers lower. “I love it when you're inside me but I know you love it too. Shall I describe it to you now, what it feels like?”

 

“Yes,” Holtz moans, her fingers turning to clenched fists on the arm rests. “Tell me, tell me how wet you are.”

 

“So wet,” Erin keens as she slides inside and she knows Jillian can feel what she's doing too. “God, I'm so wet Jill.”

 

And she is, is met with almost no resistance when she pushes in with one finger and then two, gasping when her thumb catches roughly on her clit with every thrust. 

 

She thought she could feel the heat in Jillian's lap before but she definitely can now, can almost  _ almost _ feel wetness when she grinds down against her and she knows this must be making Jillian wild. 

 

She pushes into herself again, her head falling back against Jillian's shoulder when she brushes past a particularly sensitive spot, smiling when Jillian's hands lift off the chair and stop an inch above her skin. 

 

“Careful,” Erin moans as her fingers keep moving. “That would be breaking the rules.”

 

“I'm very close to telling you to fuck your rules,” Holtz growls, biting with a little more firmness into Erin's shoulder. 

 

She hisses in response and the bubbling in the pit of her belly moves a little higher, buoyed by the hint of pain tempered with the soft press of Jillian's lips immediately after. 

 

They've done that before, blurred the line between between pleasure and pain and Erin had melted for it but it's been awhile since the last time, long enough for Erin to forget the way it makes her blood sing. 

 

“Again,” Erin whispers as her fingers tweak at her nipple again and she starts to curl the ones inside her. “Bite me again.”

 

“Gladly,” Holtz moans, her lips peeling back as her teeth settle above her pulse point and sink in slowly, the tips of her canines pinching into the flesh deliciously. 

 

She doesn't retract them straight away either, waiting until Erin wriggles beneath the pressure groaning before she takes her mouth away, moving up higher to do the same thing again. 

 

And honestly, it just about drives Erin straight off the cliff. It makes her a little mad with want and she can feel herself grow wetter and wetter around her own fingers. 

 

It's so animalistic and so primal and she loves it so much when Jillian marks her that she doesn't want it to stop so she takes the hand off her breast and winds it into the blonde's hair and pulls, holding Jillian to her throat and the other woman moans against her in response. 

 

And if Jillian wasn't dangerously close to touching her before she is now, her hands clenching into fists before her fingers splay wide through the air as she puts the energy she would be pouring through her hands into her connection with Erin's neck, drawing the skin to her teeth with what is bound to be a glorious bruise by now. 

 

Erin's so close now, so on edge that every single thrust threatens to tip her over the edge but she's not quite there, not yet. She needs a little bit more. 

 

And Jillian seems to sense this, because Jillian senses everything when it comes to Erin, so finely tuned to every movement and every breath that she knows exactly how far along Erin is and how close she is but how far too.

 

So she breaks away from Erin's neck and whispers into Erin's ear, her breath warm and silky as she takes Erin's earlobe between her teeth. 

 

“Come for me Erin,” she purrs and Erin does. On command, like a soldier shaking with someone else's gun in their hands. 

 

The last word comes out of Jillian's mouth before her teeth sink down hard into already sensitive flesh and Erin just falls to pieces around her own fingers. 

 

Jillian's mouth is strong and insistent and it does the work of drawing out Erin's orgasm that her fingers normally do, pulling the ecstasy out of Erin like thread. 

 

Erin shakes and shudders as she keeps pumping her hand before she collapses, a little boneless against Jillian's chest. 

 

She can feel Jillian breathing hard behind her, her hands spread wide on the arms of the chair as her lips brush the shell of Erin's ear again. 

 

“Erin, darling, if I don't touch you I think I might explode,” Holtz says  _ soft, soft, soft  _ but heavy with lust too and Erin's still buzzing but she clenches involuntarily at Holtz's words.

 

Erin doesn't say anything, she doesn't have to, instead just threads her fingers through Jillian's and brings one to her breast as she slides the other down her stomach and Jillian moans low and deep like it's a physical relief to her to be able to touch Erin. 

 

It's a physical relief to Erin too, and she didn't think she'd be able to handle being touched so soon after but Jillian's hands are soft and her fingers delicate as she tests how sensitive Erin is. 

 

“God, Erin you're so wet,” Jillian breathes in her ear as she moves through Erin, spreading her arousal to coat all of her. 

 

“I told you so,” Erin says with a smirk as her eyes flutter closed and she leans back fully into Holtz behind her. 

 

“That was torture, you know?” Holtz purrs as her fingers move gently but insistently, dipping to the lowest point making Erin moan. “Pure fucking torture, Erin.”

 

“That's kind of the point, Jill,” Erin says with a smile. “That's what it felt like all day for me.”

 

“Well next time, how about you drop a little note on my desk that says  _ fuck me now or I'm going to do it myself _ ,” Holtz whispers as she pushes into Erin slowly and Erin feels her heart stop. “Eliminate any of that pesky confusion, huh?”

 

Erin feels herself throb around Jillian's fingers as she starts to move them in and out slowly, dragging them through Erin deliciously. It's hot, almost as hot as the warmth she can feel radiating from Holtz below her. 

 

And suddenly Erin just  _ needs _ to touch. It's not enough that Jillian's inside her, Erin needs to feel her too. It's tight but she thinks she can get her hand between them still so she tries, sliding her hand down against Jillian's body before dipping beneath her underwear and into a fluid heat. 

 

God, she's wet. Wetter than Erin can actually remember and the moan that leaves Jillian's lips is positively filthy but it makes Erin's blood trill. 

 

And it is tight but it's the better for it, pushing Erin harder against Jillian, the friction stronger as she shudders beneath Erin, her hand tightening over Erin's breast. 

 

“I think that's the pot calling the kettle black,” Erin says smirking as she moves her fingers teasingly. “Don't you?”

 

“Can you blame me?” Holtz manages to gasp out. “Jesus, Erin I can barely concentrate with you doing that.”

 

“Oh I know you can multi-task Jill.  _ Much _ better than I can,” Erin says sweetly. “Please, I want to come together.”

 

Holtz shudders in reaction to Erin's words, her teeth fixing into the line of Erin's shoulder again as she nods in response. 

 

Their movements become rougher after that, a little less precise as they lose the finer line to drive forward together but it's no less pleasurable for it. Instead they draw from a baser level as Erin grinds  **down** and Jillian pushes  _ up _ and their breath starts to come in broken gasps. 

 

She can feel how on edge Jillian is, could feel that she was almost ready to snap the second Erin touched her and being able to touch Erin too seems to be helping matters, so much so that Erin feels her breath coming quick and fast after only a few minutes. 

 

“I'm so close too,” Erin says over her shoulder, winding her hand into the blonde's hair to pull her forward for another rough kiss, Erin's tongue pushing into Jillian's mouth hotly as she moves her fingers quicker against Jillian beneath her. 

 

Their release catches them both like a trip, Jillian going first, her mouth moving against Erin's as her other hand threads through Erin's at the back of her neck, winding their fingers together as she shudders. 

 

She comes hot around Erin's fingers and it's so delicious and  _ obvious _ that it drags Erin down with her, helped by the way Jillian's fingers curve unexpectedly inside Erin as she falls herself. 

 

They both shake, hands and bodies moving against each other as they search for the last morsels of pleasure and they  _ kiss _ and  _ kiss _ and  _ kiss _ until Erin feels a desperate need for breath. 

 

“Jesus,” Erin gasps, her head half against Jillian's forehead as she strokes Jillian softly before retracting her hand and sucking her fingers clean. 

 

“That's a  _ very _ dirty habit you've picked up, Miss Gilbert,” Holtz says with a smirk as one of her arms slides around Erin's waist, pulling her closer as she nuzzles into Erin's neck softly. 

 

“Oh yeah,” Erin says half-turning so she can look Jillian in the eye and the heat sparks like a fire between them again. “What are you going to do about it?”

 

“I don't know,” Holtz says as her other hand slides down Erin's arm to wrap around her wrist so she can bring Erin's fingers to her mouth too. 

 

Her tongue is warm and silky as it wraps around Erin's fingers and Erin feels herself growing hungry. 

 

_ Again _ . 

 

Jillian looks over Erin’s shoulder, down between her breasts as her hand snakes over them, drawing goose flesh to the surface in her wake as she moves lower one last time. 

 

“But I'm sure I'll think of something.”

 

 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Did you like it too?
> 
> Please, feel free to come by my [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com) and say hi. _I_ don't bite, promise. 
> 
> x


	18. dix-sept.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ring ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you guys but it's been a long week already and I think we could all use a healthy dose of smut, huh?
> 
> Without further ado then, I give you my interpretation of holtzbert-flavoured phone sex...
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> xx

-

  
  


**Thirty five.**

Ring ring. 

  
  


-

  
  


Erin walks through the door of her hotel room, throwing her bag on the bed before collapsing down next to it, her breath leaving her chest in a huff. 

 

It had seemed like an amazing idea at the time, headlining a conference on contemporary advances in particle physics, but now that she's here she wishes she was at home. 

 

With Jillian. 

 

Instead of exhausted and grumpy after having spent the day with a room of men in suits gravely nodding at her as she ran over and around their most recent breakthroughs. 

 

She closes her eyes, resting her hands just under her diaphragm feeling her ribs expand and contract as she tries to slow and quiet her mind. 

 

She's better at this now, turning her brain down, because it's always been a problem after a mentally heavy day, her mind and body fixed on a level to stimulate thought and discussion but it's not exactly conducive to a healthy heart rate, or stress level, but she's never been able to find anything to help. 

 

Until Jillian. 

 

Until blonde hair and soft eyes and slightly rough hands that soothe the lines of tension from her shoulders and the strain from her jaw. 

 

Jillian has given her something to fix on, to help her still, and Erin loves her for it. 

 

But she's not here. She's at home, probably sprawled across their bed in an almost mirror image of Erin's present position, so she'll have to try and make do with a memory instead of the real thing. 

 

She breathes in deep, slipping her fingers in the spaces between her ribs as she tries to recall the exact colour of Jillian's eyes and what her kisses taste like after she brushes her teeth, and what her fingers feel as they work up Erin's thighs and it's  _ working _ , her blood slowing when her phone buzzes beside her. 

 

She's ready to scowl before she reads the name on the screen, and smiles instead. 

 

**_Incoming call_ **

**_Jill H_ **

 

“Hi,” Erin says with a smile as she answers the call, settling into the soft duvet beneath her as she kicks her heels off from her feet dangling off the end of the bed. 

 

“Hi,” comes the response, and Erin's whole body warms at the sound of Jillian's voice. “How was the day, you big important key note speaker?”

 

“Exhausting,” Erin says honestly, her voice croaking a little. “Good but exhausting. God, I'd forgotten how stuffy this discipline really was.”

 

“No eye candy then?” Holtz says with a smile in her voice. “Shame.” 

 

“Tell me about it,” Erin says with a mock-dramatic tone. “I'm used to having this really attractive blonde in the back of my talks now.”

 

“Oh, tell me more about her,” Holtz says on the other line. “I bet she's hot. And smart.”

 

“Yeah and modest too,” Erin says with a laugh. “I miss you.”

 

“Miss you too,” Holtz says quietly. “The apartment feels so empty without you and your mess.”

 

“ _ I am not _ ….” Erin starts before Holtz cuts her off. 

 

“I'm kidding babe. I'm kidding,” Holtz says quickly and Erin can hear the smile in her voice. “It is way too quiet though. Hey, so what have you got planned for the evening? A wild night in the hotel bar?”

 

“I thought I'd have a bath and go to bed actually,” Erin replies, sitting up to eye the tub with a slight look of longing. 

 

“Erin Gilbert, born to be mild,” Holtz says with a little laugh. “I'm sure we can think of something a little more exciting for you to do with your evening that's just as relaxing if you'd like?”

 

“And what is that?” Erin asks suspiciously, because she thinks she knows what Holtz is going to suggest. 

 

“Well I know how strung out you can feel after a big thinking day, and there's one thing that  _ always _ works to get you to relax….” Holtz says, the insinuation coming through clearly to Erin now. 

 

She can hear a rustling on the other end and visualises Jillian shrugging her coat off before tossing it on the floor and taking her position on the bed again. 

 

And it's strange because at almost the exact same time as Erin hears the noise on the end of the line, she hears a noise from the room next door. She doesn't pay it mind for long though, because Jillian speaks again. 

 

“That phone of yours has an  _ excellent _ camera too,” Holtz says, filling the silence as Erin thinks. “It's a damn shame mine’s broken.”

 

It's not the first time Jillian's tried to talk Erin into playing over the phone but she's never felt brave enough before, her confidence slipping a little without the real tangible article of Jillian Holtzmann in front of her, warming her blood and insecurities with the blush that runs across her cheeks when Erin kisses her, hard. 

 

“I don't know, Jill,” Erin says unsure. “I always feel so silly when you're not here with me.”

 

“Would it help if I told you just how much I've missed you today? About how not having you in that lab with me just reminds me how much I want you when I do,” Jillian says softly, the timbre of her voice low. 

 

“Jill,” Erin says weakly but she can hear more clothes coming off at the other end of the phone and it's fucking distracting because she's picturing how Jillian looks now, and it's getting harder and harder to remember why this wouldn't be an  _ excellent _ idea. 

 

“Yes, Erin?” Jillian asks innocently and she's stopped moving now which means she's probably almost naked on their bed. 

 

She pauses for another whole second, weighs the decision at the nape of her neck but if she's honest, _really_ _honest_ , she's already gone and imagining running her hands up the creamy skin of Jillian's stomach….

 

“What are you wearing?” Erin says finally, breaking, and she can hear the triumph in Jillian's voice when she replies. 

 

“Nothing,” Jillian whispers into the phone and Erin's heart falls through the bottom of her stomach with a jolt. 

 

“Nothing?” Erin asks, her heart rate picking up immediately, her voice a little breathy. 

 

“Not a stitch,” Jillian replies easily. “Why, what are you wearing?” 

 

“Too much,” Erin says as her body temperature starts to increase too. 

 

“Take something off for me?” Holtz says, her voice silky and Erin can picture her drawing lazy circles on the bare skin above her hip. 

 

“What?” Erin asks as she sits up. “What do you want me to take off?” 

 

“Start with your jacket,” Holtz says easily. “You could leave your heels on if you want though….”

 

“They're already on the floor,” Erin replies as she shrugs out of her jacket, one arm at a time as she balances her phone in the other hand. “What do you want instead?” 

 

“Your shirt?” Jillian says slowly. “You are wearing a shirt right?” 

 

“Yes,” Erin says nodding, realising the pointlessness of the venture given Jillian can't actually see her. “How did you know?”

 

“You always do when you think you need to impress someone,” Jillian replies and Erin can hear the smile in her voice. “God, I wish I could see you right now. I bet that blush is so pretty across your cheeks.” 

 

“I wish we could do this over video,” Erin says shyly and she's dead nervous but she can picture Jillian so clearly in her mind's eye right now and it's  _ beautiful, _ and it feels criminal that she can't actually  **see** . 

 

“I mean it's awfully hard trying to undress myself with one hand….” Erin finishes coyly and the reply comes slightly strangled and low. 

 

“I know, baby,” Holtz breathes. “I know, me too. Tell me though, tell me what you're doing.” 

 

Erin lays back on the bed, her phone leaning against her ear as she unbuttons her shirt slowly. 

 

“Taking my shirt off,” she replies, her eyes fluttering closed. “What are you doing?” 

 

“Imagining you taking your shirt off,” Holtz says and Erin can see the smirk on her face in her mind's eye. “Can you take your skirt off too?” 

 

“Yes,” Erin says as she slips her hands behind her back, lifting her ass as she unzips and slides the fabric down her legs. 

 

“Tell me what you're feeling Er,” Holtz breathes back to her. “Tell me what you're thinking about.”

 

And Erin thinks this is probably about the time she should start to feel silly but she doesn't. Not at all. 

 

“I feel warm,” Erin says coyly. “And restless. It's strange hearing you but not feeling you touch me.”

 

“Imagine I'm there,” Jillian replies. “Imagine I'm there sliding my hand down your stomach.” 

 

So Erin does, imagines it’s smaller hands sliding down her belly and beneath the edge of cotton and lace and her breath comes out in a soft puff. 

 

“What do you feel Erin, I want you to tell me what you feel,” Jillian says with a husk to her voice that wasn't there a moment ago. 

 

“Wet,” she says heavily, groaning a little as her fingers slip against herself. “I'm wet, Jill.”

 

“God, Erin,” Jillian replies and Erin can see her brow creased in the flush of lust so clearly in her imagination and it pushes her on, her fingers sliding firmer against herself. 

 

“Tell me what you're doing,” Erin says as she gulps and her fingers swirl. “I want to know what you're doing too.”

 

“The same,” Holtz whispers back. “Jesus, I'm so wet too.”

 

Honestly, it's just about enough to make Erin come on the spot because it's so vivid and a little filthy and it feels wicked, like they're doing something they shouldn't be, and it just makes Erin hotter. 

 

Jillian's breath is rough and broken in her ear and Erin can almost taste the way her skin feels when it heats on her tongue, moaning when she hears the movements on the other end pick up their pace. 

 

“God, I'd kill to have you here with me,” Erin says as she arches her back, her other hand coming up to move over her stomach and squeeze at her breasts. “Your fingers fit so much better, it's almost teasing after I've had you.”

 

“Imagine it's me,” Holtz says with a strangled gasp. “Imagine it's me dipping my fingers just inside, can you do that for me Erin?”

 

“Yes,” Erin moans as she drops her fingers low, collecting her arousal before pushing in ever so lightly. “God, I want you inside me so badly.”

 

“I'm there,” Jillian breathes. “I'm there guiding your hand, Erin. Tell me what it feels like.”

 

“Tight,” Erin says groaning as she slips two fingers inside, imagines Jillian's hand on her wrist pushing her. “And warm. So, so warm, Jill.”

 

“Jesus,” Holtz moans again, her breath low and laboured. “I'm close Erin. I’m so close.”

 

And it feels like they've barely started but god, Erin is too. The combination of Jillian's voice in her ear, knowing she's right there taking pleasure from herself pushing Erin steeper and steeper with a swiftness they don't often find. 

 

“So am I,” Erin gasps as her thumb slips over her clit. “I'm so close too, Jill.”

 

“Curl your fingers for me, baby,” Holtz breathes and Erin does flexing and stretching them, gasping as they hit that spot that makes her toes curl. 

 

“Oh god,” Erin stutters as her heart thumps heavy in her chest and she comes, pulling around her own fingers. She rolls them, drawing out the sensation guiding her own release when she hears Jillian come with a gasp on the other end. 

 

Her hips jump up into her hand and her back arches off the bed as she tightens again at the sound of the blonde's orgasm on the other end of the line, moaning Erin's name long and steady. 

 

They're quiet for a moment when they both come down, their breathing rough over the line and Erin reaches out for Jillian automatically, her heart forgetting for a moment that she's alone. 

 

“Holy shit,” Holtz says on the other end of the phone. “You still alive there?”

 

“Yeah,” Erin says quietly. “You?”

 

“Peachy,” Holtz replies and Erin can hear the grin in her voice. “Hey, Er?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What room number are you?” Holtz asks and Erin screws her brow in confusion as she sits up looking for it. 

 

“I don't know?” Erin says as pushes her hair out of her eyes to read the writing on her room key. “Seventy four?”

 

“You sure?” Holtz asks again and Erin can hear her moving on the end of the line now. 

 

“Yeah,” Erin says warily. “How come?” 

 

The knock on her door is almost enough to make her jump out of her skin and she gives a little squeak before pulling at the covers. It's not very effective though given she's not actually in the bed, not that it matters because it's not like whoever is on the other side can come in anyway. 

 

“Hold on,” Erin says down the phone as she gets up, dragging a blanket off the bed and wrapping it around her underwear clad body as she pads over to the door. 

 

She looks through the little hole in the door cautiously, and her heart almost stops when she sees blonde hair and blue eyes waiting for her. 

 

“Room service,” Holtz says both on the phone and in person as Erin yanks the door open, face blank in shock. 

 

She's wearing one of the hotel robes tied hastily around her middle and her hair’s a mess all loose around her shoulders and her cheeks are flushed, and Erin doesn't think she's ever seen a sweeter sight in her life. 

 

“What are you  _ doing _ here….” Erin starts but she doesn't get far before Holtz moves in quickly, her arms sliding around Erin's waist as she collects her easily and spins her back into the room. 

 

“Surprise,” Holtz says against the skin of her neck, her teeth closing over Erin's pulse as she sucks hard. 

 

“But….” Erin stutters as her hands slide into Jillian's hair. “I'm half way across the country? And you're here?”

 

“Thought we could use a dirty weekend away,” Holtz says smiling against Erin's collarbone before she pulls away with a frown. “Was this not….should I not be here?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Erin says with a brilliant smile. “And it's the best surprise I've ever had. Do the others know you're here?”

 

“Of course,” Holtz says as she slows, her hands sliding up and down Erin's ribs. “You sure you're glad I'm here? Because I booked a flexi-fare, just in case.”

 

“You're an idiot,” Erin says as she pulls Holtz close to her again. “In what world would I not want you here?”

 

“Yeah?” Jillian says smiling as her hands move softly over Erin's hips. 

 

“Yeah,” Erin says, tugging and knocking their hips together and the blonde's whole body just glows with the affirmation. 

 

“I love you,” Jillian says softly, almost shyly and Erin's soul vibrates in response. 

 

“I love you too,” Erin says sweetly as her hands sweep wide up Jillian's back before they close in her hair. “You were next door the whole time?” 

 

“Maybe?” Holtz says looking a little guilty. 

 

“You didn't want to come straight in and take care of things yourself?” Erin asks curiously. 

 

“Uh-uh,” Holtz says shaking her head. “I mean obviously, yes, but I wanted to hear you first. Kind of figured it might make for a nice little warm up before the main event.”

 

“The main event?” Erin asks puzzled. “What do you mean?”

 

“Erin  _ Gilbert _ ,” Holtz says in mock-horror. “Don't you  _ know _ what flash hotel rooms are for?”

 

“No?” Erin says hesitantly. “But I feel like you're about to tell me?”

 

“ _ Show _ you,” Holtz says correcting her and Erin feels her stomach drop at the insinuation because her voice has turned strong beneath the silk. “I'm going to  _ show _ you, Erin.”

 

“Jill,” Erin says with a little warning as her blood starts to warm, her blush returning. “I have colleagues in every other room of this floor.”

 

“Guess you'll have to be quiet then, huh?” Holtz says with a smirk as she starts walking Erin backwards to the bed. “And we’ll just have to stay inside all weekend so no one sees us coming or going.”

 

And she should probably say no because they both know there's no way she's going to keep quiet and that's so far from professional that she can't see the line anymore, but there's absolutely no way in hell that she's going to because Jillian's hands are warm on her waist and then on her skin as she pulls the blanket from between them. 

 

“We don't need that, do we?” Jillian asks as her hands slide higher up to Erin's bra. “Or this?” 

 

“No,” Erin says shaking her head as her fingers close around the knot at Jillian's waist too. “Or this.”

 

Holtz smiles before it falls open and for a second Erin's confused but then she's not because Jillian is completely bare underneath, not a scrap of cloth on her.

 

“Oh,” Erin says, a little transfixed as she runs her hands up and down Jillian's stomach before a thought crosses her mind and she laughs. “What if you'd gotten locked out? Or the wrong room?” 

 

“Dunno,” Holtz says with a smirk. “Keep knocking until you answered. Didn't really think about it. All I could think about was you.”

 

“What about me?” Erin asks silkily as she pushes her body against Jillian's. 

 

“Everything,” Holtz says as her hands sweep up and down Erin's body. “But mainly you, fucking yourself while you thought of me.”

 

Erin's heart thumps heavily in her chest, so solidly she's worried it's going to burst out, and the arousal must show on her face because Jillian smirks but she can't help it because the blonde is incredible, the speed with which she can turn their interactions on a knife point from hot to incandescent is unbelievable. 

 

“It was nothing on you,” Erin says shaking her head as she pulls slightly at Jillian's hair where it's woven between her fingers. “ _ Nothing _ .”

 

“Oh, I don't know about that,” Holtz says with a frown. “I bet it was  _ quite _ a show.”

 

“You think yours wasn't?” Erin asks with a raised eyebrow as Jillian bares her neck to Erin's teeth. 

 

“Would you like to see?” Jillian asks, her eyes alight and eager. 

 

“Yes,” Erin says with breath barely above a whisper because that image just about makes her faint. “But later. First I want to feel you inside me.”

 

Holtz snaps then, pulling Erin to her tight as she crashes their lips together, her tongue sliding insistently into Erin's mouth, her hands squeezing Erin's ass roughly. 

 

“God, you're mouth-watering. You know that?” Holtz growls when they part, nipping at Erin's lip with her teeth as she slides her leg between Erin's when Erin's legs hit the bed. 

 

“Show me,” Erin says as she flexes her hands in Jillian's hair again, pulling, and the blonde's whole frame shudders with her moan. 

 

Erin gives her one last smile, flashing her teeth before she shifts her weight backwards and they fall to the bed together. 

 

They land in a tangle of limbs and gasps, Erin's thigh between Jillian's pushing directly against her when they settle, undressed as she is despite the robe still around her shoulders, and they both moan at the contact because Jillian is very  _ very _ wet and that's very  _ very _ evident to Erin.

 

“Oh, Jill,” Erin says as she slides the robe off, her hands running down Holtz’s sides, pulling her against her thigh. 

 

Holtz moans low, her eyes fluttering closed as her hands steady her above Erin's head as she pushes against Erin's leg. 

 

“Quiet baby,” Erin says pulling Holtz against her again, her lips against the blonde's. 

 

“Or what?” Holtz says teasing on top of her and Erin's hands flex and tighten again, pulling harder in her hair and Holtz groans louder. “Yeah, that's not really a deterrent, buttercup.”

 

“What if I said I'd stop instead?” Erin asks curiously, her fingers spreading as she readjusts her grip. 

 

Holtz gulps above her and Erin's heart sings at having caught her off guard, her blush spreading down across the tops of her shoulders and breasts, her nipples hardening. 

 

“Yeah, that seems like it might work nicely,” Erin says with a smirk as she kisses Holtz hard. 

 

“Careful,” Holtz says dipping her head to bite at the swell of Erin's breast. “Two can play at that game, Gilbert. Do you want to see how loud I can make you?”

 

“Do your worst,” Erin says, her smile turning wicked and Jillian's widens above her to match. 

 

“My pleasure,” Holtz growls. “Or, should I say yours.”

  
  


-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters and then this little fic will be all tied up, team! (there might be a pun in there if you squint hard enough).
> 
> One of them is actually already written but I'm flip flopping about posting it big time because the topic is a little....delicate? Even by the standards of this fic?
> 
> If I chicken out I have a substitute though, so not to fear!
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling from me. Come say hi on [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com) if you fancy, I'd love it.
> 
> Oh, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> x


	19. dix-huit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road less travelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the one I was talking about the other day. 
> 
> I'm going to throw this into the universe and run and hide because I still don't know how I feel about posting it, but first let me give some context. 
> 
> A few months ago, someone left an anonymous comment on one of these chapters asking me if I'd ever consider exploring anal penetration in this fic. I sort of said no out of hand because it wasn't something I was super comfortable writing about, but the thought would just not leave me alone so I tried to put pen to paper and this is the result. 
> 
> Anon commenter wherever and whoever you are, this is all because of you my little grey faced friend. I'm pretty happy with it and I really hope you guys enjoy it too?
> 
> Now, for the warnings. **This chapter does contain anal play**. It's very delicate and loving and consensual between two adults, but for the love of god if this isn't your thing, close this tab now. 
> 
> For those of you that want to stay, enjoy?
> 
> x

-

  
  


**Thirty six.**

The road less travelled. 

  
  


-

  
  


“Hey, Er?” Jillian says to Erin softly, dragging her fingertips down Erin’s bare spine as she lays on her stomach, naked but for the sheet draped loosely over her lower back and behind. 

 

She's laying next to Erin, on her side leaning up on her elbow as she appraises Erin with the sheet draped over the middle of her body, largely preserving her modesty although Erin can just make out the swell of breast around the curve of the sheet. 

 

“Hmmm?” Erin mumbles, accepting the question as she turns her head to look Jillian in the eye. 

 

It's late on a Thursday night and they're laying quietly enjoying the buzz of a slow fading orgasm a piece, the glow of their bodies warming the room as they settle into the silence. 

 

It's not usual pre-Friday fanfare but they'd come home with the tips of their fingers burning for each other and abandoned their takeout, taking one another slowly to pieces in bed instead. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Holtz asks and Erin's surprised to see a faint pink blush settle over her cheeks before she ducks her head. 

 

“Of course,” Erin says as she turns her body slightly, curiosity peaked. Because Jillian looks shy, and Erin has the impression that whatever she wants to ask might be sex-adjacent and Jillian's  _ never _ shy about anything coitally-related. “What is it?”

 

“You know how sometimes we try new stuff?” Holtz says, not looking to Erin, her eyes fixed on the individual crests of Erin's vertebrae instead. 

 

“Yeah,” Erin says trying to sound receptive to whatever Jillian's braving her own hesitation to ask about. “What is it it? Do you want to try something new?”

 

“Maybe,” Holtz says before she shakes her head. “No, I don't know.”

 

“You know you can ask about anything, right?” Erin says, bringing her hand up to trace the line of the blonde's jaw. “I mean, I might not want to do it but I'm open to anything. And chances are I'll probably want to because you're a little bit irresistible and I kind of want to do everything with you.”

 

“I know,” Jillian says softening as she meets Erin's eyes nervously. “And I love you for it, I really do. I just, the other stuff’s different but I still kind of know you'll be open to it, you know? That you'll like it? I just….I don't know about this and I don't know if I want to ask. I don't want you to be put off me.”

 

“There is absolutely no chance of that,” Erin says with a smirk. “Whatever it is, I promise there's absolutely no chance of that, ok?”

 

“Promise?” Holtz says as she bites her lip, frowning as she looks at Erin. 

 

“Promise,” Erin says weaving her fingers into half-up half-down blonde hair. “Now, tell me what it is.”

 

Jillian drops her head again, her fingers moving down Erin's spine, lower and lower until they draw circles around the bump of her tailbone. 

 

“I've only ever done it a couple of times,” Holtz says slowly, quietly, her fingers moving a little to brush over Erin's ass gently and Erin's blood starts to warm as she begins to get an inkling of understanding. 

 

Holtz pauses for a second as she gathers her courage again, her fingers stilling on Erin's lower back. 

 

“Giving and receiving, I mean, and it's good. It's really really good, on both ends so to speak but I'd never ask you to do it to me first because I know that's a bit intimidating, and I know it's definitely an acquired taste so I completely understand if you don't even want to entertain the thought and I….” Jillian says blushing as she takes a breath. “I’m rambling aren't I?” 

 

“Yes,” Erin says smiling as she looks to Jillian with a blush on her own cheeks. “It's very endearing though. You can stop if you'd like, I think I know what you're asking.”

 

“Put off?” Jillian asks with a frown, wincing slightly. “Ready to kick me out of bed?”

 

“Of course not,” Erin says leaning in to press a long kiss to the blonde's lips, not drawing back until Jillian inhales deeply against her. 

 

It's partly to distract her and partly to give Erin herself a second to think because while she's definitely not put off, she is a little thrown. And not in a bad sense it's just….different. Not bad different. Just  _ different _ . 

 

And it's not like they don't have a wonderfully varied sex life, because they do, Erin knows they do and she knows how lucky they are for that, it's just that this is something that's really never come up between them before. Erin remembers one of her few boyfriends bringing it up sometime after graduation but she'd never felt comfortable enough with him or any other partner to try it and it had sort of laid itself to rest, untouched (literally) ever since. 

 

And it's a surprise, sure, but the more she thinks about it the more she realises she's not actually  _ opposed _ . Not with Jillian at least. Because Jillian Holtzmann knows her body better than she knows it herself, and if she were ever going to try anything like this it would be with her.

 

She must have been silent for too long after they'd drawn back because Holtz speaks first, beating her to it.  

 

“Actually, Er forget I even said anything ok?” Holtz says shaking her head. “It doesn't matter, just a silly thought.”

 

“Hey,” Erin says quickly, taking Jillian's hand in hers. “Nothing's ever a silly thought, ok? Nothing. I don't want you to feel like there's ever anything you can't talk to me about, sexual or not.”

 

“But….” Holtz starts before Erin cuts her off. “Is there ever anything you wouldn't want me to ask you?”

 

“Of course not,” Holtz says quickly, shaking her head with a frown. “You can talk to me about anything.”

 

“So is it fair we have double standards for you?” Erin says with a raised eyebrow. 

 

“No,” Jillian says with a little huff. “I just…. I don't know, I know that's a bit more taboo than some of the other stuff we've….”

 

“Like fucking me in my childhood bedroom?” Erin asks with a smirk. “Or tying me to the bed and leaving me there waiting for an hour while you made yourself a batch of biscuits.”

 

“Regardless,” Jillian says seriously, levelling Erin's argument with a frown. “We can just forget it if you want, ok?”

 

She's putting on a brave face but Erin knows her nerves are exposed to the air, and Erin wants to reassure her but she does actually want this too, more and more the more she thinks about it, and she wants Jillian to know that, that's she's not just agreeing to appease her. 

 

“But what if I don't want to forget it,” Erin says a little coyly, dragging her nails lightly along Jillian's shoulder and down her arm. “What if I did want to.”

 

“You really don't have to say that just to make me feel better, Er,” Holtz says seriously. “I won't be offended at all, ok?”

 

“I'm not saying it to make you feel better,” Erin says a little shyly, dropping her head to hide her blush with her hair. “I've never done it before but only because I've never trusted anyone enough. I trust you though, Jill. Implicitly. So if it's something you want to try, I'd be….open to it.”

 

“You would?” Holtz says, her shoulders lifting in surprise. “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Erin says a little sheepishly. “It's kind of a turn on to think about, actually. You doing that to me.”

 

“Really?” Holtz says with a raised eyebrow. “You're not just saying that?” 

 

“Uh-uh,” Erin says rolling over into her back and taking Jillian's hand in her own. 

 

She moves it low, through short curls into a hot wetness that makes Jillian groan when she swirls the tips of her fingers, testing, taking in how much talking about this has done for Erin. 

 

Erin rolls her hips up with a sharp jolt at the end when Jillian's finger brushes over clit and the blonde looks down at her with hungry black blue eyes. 

 

“Still think I'm just saying it for your sake?” Erin says with a moan as her head falls back and her eyes close at the firmer circle of Jillian's fingers. “God, we could try now if you want.”

 

“Not yet,” Jillian says leaning down to crash their lips together. “Not tonight. I'll make it special. I just want this for now.”

 

And Erin wants to argue that it's never  _ not _ special but then the blonde's fingers slide inside so easily it makes her head spin, and the objection falls like a breath on the breeze. 

 

Later then, Erin thinks. Later. 

  
  


-

  
  


It's a few weeks in the end before they have the opportunity to actually play with the idea, but it presents itself neatly one night when Erin's perched on Jillian's lap on the couch, her thighs straddling Jillian's as the blonde latches on hard above her pulse. 

 

“I love it when you wear dresses to work,” Jillian mumbles against the warmth of Erin's neck as her hands slide further and further up Erin's thighs, unimpeded by fabric or zips. 

 

“Why do you think I do it?” Erin says with a smirk as she winds her hands into Jillian's hair and tugs lightly, making the other woman growl low. 

 

“Erin Gilbert, a handful in the sack. Who would have thought, huh?” Holtz says with a smirk. 

 

“I've never been before,” Erin says with a little blush. “Must be you Miss Holtzmann. You're a terrible influence.”

 

“A  _ wonderful _ influence,” Holtz corrects with a nip at Erin's throat as her hands slide higher, cupping Erin's ass before they slip half under the fabric. “The word you're looking for is wonderful.”

 

Erin shivers at the feeling of Jillian's hands on her bare skin, deeper and more thoroughly when her hand curves under a little more, swiping through her arousal ever so lightly. 

 

Erin groans and tries to push herself down on Jillian's fingers at the same time that she pushes Erin up with her thighs, and her finger slips past both of her entrances as a result. 

 

Erin freezes and Jillian does too, their gazes locked in an odd little stalemate, and Erin knows Jillian's waiting for her to make the first move. To shift her pawn from the line up. 

 

“You know, we still haven't done that thing we talked about a few weeks ago,” Erin says, biting her lip as she wriggles, trying to encourage Jillian's hands to keep moving but she's not having a bar of it, keeping them still. 

 

“I know,” Holtz says a little shy. “I was going to bring it up but I thought you might have forgotten or changed your mind.”

 

“Definitely not,” Erin says shaking her head as she leans in to kiss Jillian again. “Don't you remember how much it turned me on?”

 

“Of course I do,” Jillian says as she moves one of her hands up to thread into Erin's hair and bring their lips together. “God, I never forget anything with you Erin. How could I?”

 

“Good,” Erin says with a pant as they part before she frowns slightly. “But if you've changed your mind, that's ok too.” 

 

“Definitely not,” Holtz says with kiss to Erin's jaw. “Terrible influence remember?”

 

She pulls back one last time and Erin can feel the care behind her gaze. 

 

“Really sure?” Holtz says with a wrinkled brow. 

 

“Yes,” Erin says as she takes Jillian's face in hers, kissing her with as much tongue as she can muster and she feels the blonde shudder beneath her, growling into Erin's mouth. “Stop asking, ok?”

 

“You're the boss,” Jillian says with a smile as her hands move to squeeze at Erin's ass again. 

 

“What if I want you to be?” Erin says a little coyly as she bites her lip. “Would that be ok?” 

 

“Always,” Jillian says with a wicked smile as her grip tightens. 

 

“Where do you want to do this?” Erin asks a little shyly, beginning to feel the pangs of warm anticipation now she has the blonde totally on board. “Is here good, or….”

 

“Anywhere works really, we can do it in bed although the chair is handy if you want to control the uh….depth,” Holtz says blushing. “We could use the armchair in the bedroom?”

 

“Perfect,” Erin says with a shiver and she makes to move off of Jillian before the blonde stops her with another squeeze. 

 

“Allow me,” Holtz says with a smile, scooping Erin up as she stands and Erin wraps her legs around her waist to help. 

 

“God, lugging that gear around all the time has its benefits,” Erin says with a smile as Jillian carries her effortlessly to their room, stopping on the way past the chair to swipe up something quickly with one hand from her bedside table. 

 

“Tell me about it,” Jillian says with a smirk as she deposits Erin down into the chair ass first and Erin frowns before Holtz drops to her knees, her hands sliding up the outside of Erin's thighs to drag her underwear down her legs. 

 

“That's harder to do when you're sitting on top of me,” Jillian says by way of explanation as she wraps Erin's legs around her waist again and spins them, taking Erin's place on the chair as she juggles Erin on her lap. 

 

They're still wearing most of their clothes which Erin thinks is wildly unnecessary so she starts unbuttoning Holtz’s shirt as her fingers draw light patterns on the outside of her thighs, creeping higher and higher as Erin's hands move lower down her shirt. 

 

“Off,” Erin says with a smile when her fingers slides over the last button, running her hands beneath Jillian’s shirt against the skin so she can push the fabric off the blonde’s shoulders. 

 

Jillian stops the track of her hands to allow Erin to move the top down her arms, smiling when Erin’s hands find her breasts almost immediately, kneading through the fabric of her bra. 

 

“Hungry are we, Ms Gilbert?” Holtz says as she bites her hip, looking down at Erin's hands. 

 

“Yes,” Erin says looking up to Holtz with wide black eyes. “Aren't you?” 

 

“ _ Starving _ ,” Holtz says in return, sliding her hands up Erin's back along the zip of her dress before her teeth fix in Erin's neck and she drags the zip down. 

 

Her fingers skirt down either side of Erin's spine, making Erin shiver against the body beneath her and Erin can feel Holtz smile against her neck in response. 

 

The zip hits it's end and Erin holds her arms up for Jillian to slide the dress up and over her head, and Erin doesn't know what it is specifically but the act of being undressed before they're about to try something new is simultaneously an enormous turn on and unexpectedly sweet. 

 

Holtz throws Erin's dress over her shoulder, winking at Erin's frown before she brings her hands to Erin's jaw line and she's almost naked, yes, but she doesn't feel bare. Not with the way Jillian's gaze drapes across her skin. 

 

“How in the hell did I get this lucky?” Jillian asks her sweetly as her eyes sweep Erin's body and she blushes prettily in response. “Also, yummy. I like the black a lot.” 

 

“I was about to ask you the same question,” Erin says, bringing her hands to cover the blonde's. “Thank you for going slow.”

 

“Thank you for wanting to try,” Holtz says with a little smile. “I think it'll be good.  _ I _ think it's good so….”

 

“Jill?” Erin asks, picking up her nervousness because she knows this dance, it's the same before they try anything new or slightly off the beaten track.

 

“Mmmm?” Holtz asks as her hands slide up Erin's stomach and across to her back, hooking around the catch of her bra. 

 

“Stop talking and kiss me,” Erin says with a smile but her heart stops in her chest because Jillian looks up at her, her eyes dark and dangerous. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Jillian says, her voice suddenly husky. “I don't think you're the one in charge here.”

 

And it makes Erin run hot almost immediately, trying to wriggle and find some sort of purchase between her thighs because this is what she loves, when they try something new and Jillian leads. 

 

Erin's pulse thumps in her core and something in her snaps and she winds her hands through Jillian's hair firmly, pulling her in for a kiss that has them both gasping when they draw away. 

 

“You've still got too many clothes on,” Erin says with a frown, her fingers pulling at the button of Jillian's pants. 

 

“Leave them,” Holtz says as she runs her hands up the length of Erin's bare torso. “I love having you while I'm still half dressed.”

 

“But….” Erin says in contest before Holtz silences her with another kiss. 

 

“Later,” Holtz says as she flicks Erin's bra open with one hand. “I want this to be about you.”

 

She drags her hands down Erin's arms, taking the straps with her and Erin can't make words come to her to argue, only managing a weak moan in protest. 

 

Jillian drops the bra to one side of the chair and Erin feels the last of her sense drop with it, because Jillian's looking at her like she's the sun and her skin's on fire and she needs Jillian to touch her or she'll burst into flame. 

 

She doesn't have to wait long, thank god, because Jillian's hands slide down the outside of her thighs before they cup her ass, pulling Erin closer to her. 

 

One of her hands stays resting on Erin's lower back but the other moves over the top of her thigh, outside to inside before stopping just short of where Erin's absolutely throbbing. 

 

“How wet are you for me then, baby?” JillIan asks sweetly, leaning up to nip at Erin's lower lip. She doesn't wait for an answer though, swiping her fingers softly through Erin before looking up to her with a smirk. “Very, huh?”

 

“Can you blame me?” Erin asks, her eyes closed as she tries her level best not to grind down on the blonde's hand. 

 

Jillian doesn't reply, not with words anyway, moving her fingers through Erin again with purpose this time, and Erin's not quite sure what to do with herself because for some reason it feels like everything is magnified to the extreme tonight and Jillian's touch feels  **heavier** . 

 

It might be the anticipation of what she knows is to come, or maybe Jillian's touch is just  _ more _ tonight, whatever it is it's driving Erin wild and she has to thread one hand into Jillian's hair and the other over the back of the arm chair to keep herself steady. 

 

Jillian's fingers are sleek and smooth in their movements, sliding through Erin again and again and again before they finally dip into the concentration of her arousal, teasing. 

 

“Jill,” Erin groans, the initial satisfaction so close but still so far. 

 

“You're not driving, Erin,” Holtz says as she clucks her tongue. “Remember?” 

 

“I know but….” Erin tries to argue. 

 

“No buts,” Jillian says with a low voice. “It's all about anticipation. You know that. Because when I do give in, when I do give you what you want, it's a hundred times better.”

 

And Erin's about to groan in frustration but the last syllable falls from Jillian’s mouth and she drives her fingers home, sliding two inside Erin so easily Erin feels faint. 

 

“Oh god,” Erin says with a moan as Jillian pushes in knuckle deep, resting for a moment without moving. 

 

“Ok?” Jillian asks, her lips hovering over Erin's pulse. 

 

“Yes,” Erin says nodding quickly. “Very, very ok.”

 

“Good,” Holtz says as she starts moving them slowly at Erin's go ahead, drawing them in and out gently as she guides Erin onto them with the hand still at the small of her back. 

 

It's one of her favourite things, riding Jillian's hand like this, nothing else but the two of them. She loves it, will remember the feeling of Jillian's fingers inside her for hours afterwards, relishing the way the blonde screws her eyes shut when Erin pulls around her fingers as firm as she can. 

 

Like now. 

 

“God, you feel so tight,” Jillian says as Erin starts rolling her hips, picking up the rhythm echoing between their bodies. “You're incredible, Erin. So fucking incredible.”

 

Erin doesn't reply, coherent thought abandoning her when Jillian’s fingers start curling slightly and she starts pulling Erin onto her hand harder, her grip firm on Erin's hip. 

 

They move against each other like that for a few minutes and Erin's movements start to get more and more erratic, she starts pushing herself down harder on Jillian's fingers as her hand tightens on blonde hair and against the fabric of the chair. 

 

“God, Jill. I'm so close,” Erin moans as she tips her head back and Jillian takes advantage of the movement to fix her lips on the swell of Erin's breasts, sucking firmly. 

 

“Good,” Holtz says when she breaks away with a gasp. “You're really going to hate me then.”

 

It takes her a second to realise what Jillian has said, her words  _ just _ breaking through the heavy haze over her entire body. 

 

“What….?” Erin says with a frown and before she knows it, before she can so much as utter a vowel in objection, Jillian's fingers are gone. 

 

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” Erin asks with a growl as she rests her head on Jillian's shoulder, breathing hard. 

 

“Trying to ruin your life, apparently,” Jillian says with a smirk and then a grimace as Erin bites down on the exposed flesh of her neck. “Ow.”

 

“You fucking deserve that and you know it,” Erin says, her hips moving, looking for the blonde's touch again. 

 

“I promise I'm not all bad,” Jillian says with a smile as she leans in to kiss Erin, one hand holding Erin's other hip as the other dips down the side of the arm chair. 

 

Erin loses herself in the kiss for a second, Jillian's tongue doing its level best to distract her when she hears the crack of a small plastic bottle open somewhere to her right. 

 

Oh, she thinks. 

 

_ That's _ why she stopped. 

 

The thought takes over Erin's mind for a second, and she must give less to the kiss because Jillian pulls away with a frown. 

 

“We don't have to do anything,” she says slowly to Erin one last time. “We can just carry on as we were.”

 

“No,” Erin says shaking her head as she smiles a little shyly. “I want to. That was good distracted, not bad distracted.”

 

“Oh,” Jillian says as her eyes darken. “So….?”

 

“Yeah,” Erin says nodding as she leans in for another long, slow kiss. “Yes, please.”

 

“You'll tell me if you don't feel comfortable?” Holtz says with a question as her hands move behind Erin and she hears the bottle being squeezed. “I'll stop straight away, ok?” 

 

“Mmhmmm,” Erin says, squirming a little on Jillian's lap as her heart starts leaping in her chest. 

 

The blonde leans in, kissing Erin soundly enough that her heart starts to slow again, only to increase with vigor when she feels one hand move to rest on her hip - an anchor point - and the other hovers just below where Erin needs her, out of reach. 

 

“Try to relax, ok?” Holtz whispers against her lips as her finger brushes past Erin's entrance to it's true goal. 

 

The touch is hesitant at first, light, moving over again and again to acclimatise Erin to the sensation before pressing against Erin with a more purpose. 

 

The sensation is so different - not bad different, just  _ different _ \-  that Erin almost jumps in Jillian's arms but she bites her lip hard, trying to keep her body still and not spook Holtz into stopping. 

 

She doesn't though, managing to keep her body reasonably steady as Holtz presses against her, a little harder this time but still not quite slipping inside, and the sensation makes her head spin.

 

Jillian teases gently for another minute or so before she smiles at the blush growing heavier on Erin's cheeks as she tries not to give away her impatience, evidently deciding Erin's more than ready for her to continue. 

 

The next touch against Erin is firmer, the intent clear. The pressure against her is reasonably strong but not unpleasant, she's surprised how pleasant it is in fact, and she holds in a gasp as she feels a slim finger, thick with lubricant push in.

 

It's light, barely inside but it's still  _ there _ and it catches Erin's breath in her throat. Holtz doesn't give in just yet though, withdrawing before dragging her finger around and around in circles as Erin squirms on her lap. 

 

It was intoxicating, the taster, and she knows that Jillian's just trying to make this as good as she possibly can for her but god she just wants  _ more _ . 

 

She doesn't get it though. Not yet, anyway. Her breath is short and shallow and she knows how transparent her arousal and anticipation must be but she doesn't care and Jillian doesn't seem to either, drinking the heat off Erin's skin as her finger continues to tease. 

 

She's a pro at this, at picking the things that set Erin up against the edge without being able to tip her over so they can play for longer. 

 

Her finger dips in and pushes but only ever so slightly, ever so shallowly and Erin's heart just keeps hammering in her chest as she waits for Jillian to make a move and enter her fully. 

 

She plays with Erin for what feels like an age, teasing, stroking and testing gently before finally she takes stock of the way that Erin's blush is wild and her eyes glassy before she leans in and takes Erin's earlobe between her teeth. 

 

“Ready?” Jillian asks with a whisper. 

 

“Yes,” Erin moans back, her hand tightening in Jillian's hair. 

 

She holds in a gasp as she feels the blonde smile against Erin's skin as she splays her hand wide on Erin's ass before resting her finger against Erin and finally,  _ finally _ pushing all the way in. 

 

The pressure is out of this world, increasing as Jillian moves deeper and deeper inside of her and it's crazy because it's just one finger but she feels so full. 

 

Her finger comes to a stop about halfway in and Erin does gasp then, her eyes fluttering closed as her breath hitches in her throat and Jillian moves close, smiling against Erin's lips again. 

 

“Breathe, baby,” Jillian whispers as she pushes in a little more, her other hand stroking small circles on Erin's hip. 

 

But that's easier said than done because Erin is so damn distracted by the feeling of Jillian inside her in a completely different way.  

 

That's the thing, that's the point that's stealing Erin's breath from her body - it's just so different to what the alternative feels like. 

 

“You ok?” Jillian asks gently when Erin flexes her fingers wide in the blonde's hair. 

 

“Yeah,” Erin says nodding as she inhales shakily. “Really good. It's just so….”

 

“Different?” Holtz asks with a smile. 

 

“Yeah,” Erin says nodding. “Different. Really good but different.”

 

“You want me to stop?” 

 

“No,” Erin says shaking her head quickly. “Don't you dare.” 

 

“Good,” Jillian says as she leans in to kiss Erin hot and fast. “Because you feel unbelievable Erin. Unbelievable.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Jillian says nodding as she pushes the digit a little deeper, prompting Erin's mouth to fall open in a gasp. “Really.”

 

She moves slowly, glacially but it's heavier for it because Erin feels every single thing until the blonde's knuckles come to rest against her ass. 

 

“Oh, god,” Erin gasps as Jillian stills for a moment, pressing a kiss to Erin's neck before whispering in her ear and taking the lobe between her teeth. 

 

“You might want to hold on for this,” Holtz says and Erin's hands tighten in her hair and against the back of the chair instantly as she starts to withdraw. 

 

The sensation is just as strong as her entering but it's different again, and it makes her shiver against the blonde as she pulls out slowly, her finger teasing the entrance again once she's out. 

 

“More,” Erin says almost immediately. “More, I want more.”

 

Because the sensation, the pressure, is intoxicating and Erin wants to feel it again. Now. 

 

“Yeah?” Jillian asks with a smile against her heart, her lips on Erin's chest. “You like?”

 

“A lot,” Erin says as her eyes flutter closed again as Jillian pushes against her. “I like it a lot.”

 

She's a little faster this time, still soft and gentle but less hesitant and Erin groans when her knuckles bump against her skin again. 

 

She's a little more acclimated to the feeling now but it still makes her legs shake when Jillian pulls out and pushes back in, reading the curve on Erin's body that says  _ more _ and a _ little faster _ . 

 

Her breath comes shallow and quick as Jillian continues her ministrations carefully, and after a minute or so she starts pushing down herself, coming to meet Jillian's hand. 

 

It's amazing but it's not  _ quite _ enough, the stimulation not targeted enough to urge her release on any further but Jillian seems aware of that too, her mind leaping ahead of Erin's. 

 

“There's one other thing I can do,” Jillian says against Erin's neck. “I'll be careful not to….it just makes you feel so full, and I know you like that when we….”

 

“Yes,” Erin says with a gasp, high on a cloud of arousal. “Anything, Jill. Please.”

 

She pulls out entirely, the finger that was inside Erin skirting that entrance consistently while she readjusts the other slightly and pushes back into Erin at two separate points. 

 

Jesus, if she thought the pressure was good before it's nothing on this now and Jillian's right, she feels so full but gently so, not stretched per se, just  **_full_ ** . 

 

“Holy shit,” Erin says with a heavy groan as her hand tightens in Jillian's hair, her nails scratching against her scalp. 

 

“Good?” Jillian asks a little nervously and Erin nods quickly. 

 

“So fucking good,” Erin says with a gasp as Jillian pumps her fingers shallowly. “Jesus Christ, you're good at this.”

 

“Flattery goes a long way you know, Ms Gilbert,” Holtz says with a smirk as she starts moving her hand against a steady pace. 

 

It's all Erin can do to stay upright in all honesty, the sensation so overwhelming and heavy she can do little more than hold on and give herself over to Jillian’s touch. 

 

It doesn't take long with the extra stimulus, not when Jillian starts curling one finger slightly and Erin's mind boggles at the multitasking ability, makes a mental note to congratulate her on it later but not now because all she can think is  **fuck** and pressure and  _ Jillian, Jillian, Jillian _ . 

 

The orgasm is heavy. It's low and dull and it takes over her entire body. She arches, stretches out long and lovely in Jillian's arms and the blonde takes advantage of it immediately, bringing Erin's nipple between her teeth. 

 

Her hand closes in Jillian's hair again as the hand at the back of the couch finds a milky white shoulder instead and closes around a delicate arrangement of bone and muscle, scratching down the skin with short nails making Jillian gasp too. 

 

The waves roll long and wide and Jillian's fingers slow their pace, bringing her back down as softly as she can, waiting until Erin stops shaking completely before she takes her fingers away gently. 

 

The feeling of emptiness is almost overwhelming but Jillian's there with soft lips and a satisfied smile, easing her and finding their equilibrium again. 

 

She collapses onto Jillian, pushing them back against the chair as her head drops onto Jillian's shoulders, her lips and teeth gentle over the marks from her nails. 

 

“God, I think you've killed me,” Erin says with a low groan, rolling her head sideways to catch blue eyes. 

 

“You enjoyed?” Jillian says with a smirk that says she already knows the answer. 

 

“No,” Erin says as she nips the creamy skin beneath her. “Definitely not. I definitely didn't love it. I definitely won't be thinking about that every second of the day tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after.”

 

“Good,” Holtz says with a smile as her hands move to sweep over Erin's back. “I'm glad. Really,  _ really _ glad because that was a hell of a good time for me too.”

 

“Yeah?” Erin asks pulling away so she can look at Jillian properly. 

 

“Yeah,” Jillian says nodding solidly. “Hell yeah.”

 

“Well,” Erin says turning sinuous in Jillian's lap. “As good as you think it was for you, it was better for me. And that makes us a little unbalanced, don't you think?”

 

“Er,” Holtz says with a smile. “You don't have to….”

 

“Oh,” Erin says with a wicked smile, rolling her hips against the warm body beneath her. “But I  _ want _ to.”

 

She moves off Jillian to stand up on shaky legs as she holds her hand out, her grin low and dangerous before she bites her lip. 

 

“Come on, baby. I don't know about you but I could use a good cool down, couldn't you? I think I can put that ledge in the shower to good use too….”

  
  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? 
> 
> *peers out nervously from under a pillow*
> 
> Let me know what you thought? Or pop by and leave me a little anon comment or come say hi on  
> [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com)?
> 
> x


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